A defense of Judge Godlywench

Before you accuse me, take a look at [explodes smokebomb]

As we have come to expect whenever President Growwwrkill nominates a new Supreme Court justice, liberals complain that the nominee is only being installed to enforce conservative interpretations of the law and, once on the bench, they will do so whatever the merits of any individual case.

Would it were so! But alas, despite the most fervent wishes of conservatives like us, it is clear that the nomination of Goody Godlywench would achieve nothing of the kind.

Opponents point out — quite unfairly and exhibiting a bigotry unbecoming the allegedly “woke” party — that Godlywench belongs to a Catholic group known at the People of God’s Rule Over All Nations, and portray the group’s ideals — again, very bigotishly if you ask us — as inimical to “democratic” “principles.” First, as Senator Mike Lee has noted, democracy isn’t such a big deal, and second, in this not-actually-a-democracy each of us has a right to his beliefs, and so does Judge Godlywench if her husband allows it.

So as much as liberals twist statements made by elders of the People of God’s Rule Over All Nations such as “all atheists must be purged,” “every head shall bow and every knee shall bend,” and “Nancy Pelosi is going to hell and so will you if you vote for her” to make them sound extreme, those of us who believe in sort-of-democracy accept them as part of the tradition of free speech with which the Founders perhaps mistakenly blessed us.

And as for her alleged designs on Roe v. Wade, a devilish ruling all of us denounce as the murder of innocents, it just wouldn’t make any sense for Judge Godlywench to spend all her admittedly relatively few years on the bench without tipping her hand as to her true ambition while the Federalist Society quietly promotes her up the chain to the Supreme Court — the scene of that infamous decision that cries out along with a billion slaughtered babies for vengeance by a righteous warrior for Christ — which liberals in their hysteria now claim she is plotting to reverse: Does such a deception sound like something in which a deeply religious person would engage?

Even more ridiculous is the idea that Godlywench would agree with the plaintiffs in the pending case that would overturn the Affordable Care Act. True, all of us want it overturned, including President Growwwrkill, who nominated Godlywench, and Godlywench herself. But stare decisis, ipso facto, nolo contendere, ibid. We trust we have made ourselves clear.

Liberals are only making fools of themselves, and also bigots, and anyway there’s nothing they can do about it. If they don’t like it, they can always seek redress through the (again, not so much) democratic process, starting with this coming election, the results of which may be decided by the Supreme Court featuring Judge Godlywench, who will totally give them a fair shake.