A mere dispute over tactics

It's your means I question!

[CHRISTOPHER RUFO’s office at NOHOMO headquarters in Washington, D.C. Shiny hardwood floor with a pretty Shiraz Persian rug, dark paneled walls with recessed shelves holding books and awards, frosted glass door. Tasteful couch, love seat, Waldman floor lamps, desk with Aeron chair behind and some shorter, crummier chair in front. RUFO, wearing a modest dark grey suit and tieless white shirt, is sitting at the desk fiddling with his laptop. The HomePod on his desk gives a quiet chime.]

WOMAN’S VOICE: [Giggling] A Mr. Andrew Sodom Man here to see you, Chris.

BRITISH MAN’S VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND: That’s “Sullivan”! I told you —

RUFO: Send him in.

[Pause. ANDREW SULLIVAN enters wearing extremely new and extremely blue jeans, dried maple Kellie lace-up boots, an untucked salmon and navy madras shirt, a cardigan matching his jeans tied by the arms around his neck and hanging on his back, and a Gold Classic Tiger Eye Bracelet on his left wrist.]

SULLIVAN: [Cheerfully] Well, Christopher.

RUFO: Have a seat, Andy.

[SULLIVAN dubiously approaches the crummy chair.]

SULLIVAN: [Gesturing to the love seat] Should we not sit over there?

RUFO: This is fine.

SULLIVAN: [Extending his hand over the desk] Well, anyway, good to see you.

RUFO: Sure.

[RUFO shakes his hand; we notice he’s wearing a latex glove.]

SULLIVAN: Have you hurt your hand?

RUFO: Hm? [Looks at glove] Oh, this, well — [Peels it off] there’s been something going around, can’t be too careful.

SULLIVAN: Ah, I see.

[SULLIVAN extends his hand again, but RUFO is looking at his laptop.]

RUFO: Have a seat, Andy.

[SULLIVAN, after a beat does so.]

SULLIVAN: Interesting that you say there’s something going around; a few of your staff coughed as I passed through. Only they seemed to be pronouncing words as they coughed. Sounded like rude words of the sort mean little boys would mutter while pretending to cough.

RUFO: [Typing still] Hm, I’ll ask about it.

SULLIVAN: Yes, another thing, Christopher, what’s this NO-homo thing? Sounds Japanese, but I take it it’s an acronym of some kind. What does it stand for?

RUFO: [Shrugs] Uh, national organization, something or other. Corporate identity. RNC handles it. I just do policy. [Closes laptop] Now, how can I help?

SULLIVAN: Well, old boy, as you must know, I was discussing you on Twitter and I may have been a tiny bit rude — as one does on Twitter, eh? Just wanted to come clear the air.

RUFO: Don’t worry about it, Andy.

SULLIVAN: Ah, but I have to worry, Christopher. You’ve been doing excellent work on the critical race thing and it’s been my pleasure to promote it. [Short pause] I trust it has been of some help.

RUFO: [Shrugs] Couldn’t hurt.

[SULLIVAN seems baffled. In a less friendly manner:]

SULLIVAN: But look here, my rudeness was in fact motivated by this nonsense about grooming, accusing Disney and teachers who simply tell their students they’re gay of pedophilia.  

RUFO: Mm. What about it?

SULLIVAN: Well, it’s ridiculous. And I know you know it’s ridiculous.

RUFO: How do you know I know it’s ridiculous?

SULLIVAN: How? Because you’re a sensible chap! You’re not a Marjorie Taylor Greene or a Josh Hawley. You know this is just nonsense — slander, really — to excite some low-information voters to a homophobic frenzy.

RUFO: Your own friends agree it’s grooming. Rod Dreher talks about it constantly.

SULLIVAN: [Coldly] Dreher and I are professional acquaintances merely. Though I’ve made every effort.

RUFO: Yes, you’re always making an effort, aren’t you.

SULLIVAN: I beg your pardon? What do you mean?

RUFO:  I mean, years ago, you were always trying to get conservatives to change their minds on gay marriage. And you did get some of them to say, Andy’s one of the good ones, not like those gay radicals. When gay so-called marriage finally happened, you thought it had something to do with you. But your conservative friends never said, you know what, he’s right, let’s all support gay marriage. No, they just got steamrolled by the left and had to retreat. But now we’ve the ones driving the steamroller.

SULLIVAN: So what are you saying? You’re against gay marriage now?

RUFO: [Almost laughing] You haven’t been paying attention.  

SULLIVAN: So that’s how little it means? My work with you on critical race theory! My work to make conservatism the choice of the nation’s thinking people!

RUFO: [Opening his laptop] Well, Andy, you know what Adlai Stevenson said about that. [Starts typing] My best to your husband or your wife or whatever you call each other.

[SULLIVAN sputters. He gets to his feet and glares at RUFO, who merely continues to type. He crosses to the door, opens it, and turns to RUFO:]

SULLIVAN: [Grandly] Mark my words — you’re only playing into the hands of the intolerant left!

[SULLIVAN sweeps out. We hear someone outside cough and sneak “faggot!” into it. RUFO continues typing. CURTAIN.]