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SundayStyle's avatar

Don’t single women know they will die alone and miserable without settling for any man who will have them and bearing several of his children? Everyone knows Real Americans are always white, Christian, and married, after all. I don’t think any bogus conservative argument in support of forced-birth makes me belly-laugh harder than their plaintive complaints about single women having the temerity to vote, and vote Democratic:

[Me, wearing an “I Voted” sticker, kicking last night’s hook-up out of the house, washing down a handful of Zoloft with vodka as I open cans of Fancy Feast for my 27 cats]: “And there’s not a fucking thing you can do to stop us, Incel. Cry harder.”

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Worriedman's avatar

I'm in Ohio. I've heard a bit about this.

Every 17 goddamn minutes.

There's a commercial playing on the Roku app channels EVERY 17 GODDAMN MINUTES that features Governor Mike DeWhine and his wife, Fran.

They say that everywhere they go everyone asks them about Issue One. They took time and carefully studied the issue and here's what they found. Issue One does not prohibit post-birth abortions. This means that liberals can murder their babies up to and past the moment of their birth. Now we might argue that Issue One also doesn't prohibit eating babies with fava beans and a nice chianti, shoving firecrackers up baby butts to make exciting July 4th decorations or throwing babies underneath your spinning tires to provide traction when you're stuck in the snow. All the more reason to vote against it say Republicans.

The DeWhines look horrible. The corruption is writ large on their faces. I get the feeling advertising is cheap on those Roku stations. I get a sense Republicans know they're fucked on this deal. They're just going through the motions. Churning the ad buys to keep the consultants happy.

The best part is Issue 2 piggybacking to hopeful victory on issue 1. Legal weed. Just like God had in the Garden of Eden. Weed is proof that God loves us and She wants us to be happy. This is so obvious. I'm surprised churches aren't behind legal weed.

Great column- Thanks!

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