Career moves

The professor gets a leg up

Although Lee is right that Asians vary in their political views, as do all groups, the important and often overlooked question is “how many?” Enoch Powell asked that question about third-world immigration to Britain decades ago and was excoriated and ostracized for it, but the importance and wisdom of the question prove themselves over and over…

…as long as most Asians support Democrats and help to advance their positions, I think the United States is better off with fewer Asians and less Asian immigration. There needs to be more focus on people who are already here, and especially the core (and neglected) “legacy” population, and a push to return to traditional concepts and institutions and Charles Murray’s “American Creed.” — University of Pennsylvania professor Amy Wax

[A small conference room with glass doors, grip-and-grin portraits and award plagues on the walls, etc. Seated at a conference table are ELLIE SCHLOCK, 27, in a business suit but with a bit of cleavage and heels and hair slightly deshabille, and a Bluetooth earpiece; Professor AMY WAX, in a long skirt, socks and sandals, v-neck sweater and white shirt with bolo tie; and, a little distant from these two, JOHN BROUN, a slightly paunchy and recessive young black man in a striped pullover shirt, jeans and brogans, wearing a Bluetooth headset. WAX has a sheaf of papers before her; SCHLOCK has what looks like a mixing board. All have bottled water and are unmasked.]

SCHLOCK: [Brightly] So, Professor, great to finally sit down with you! Really really love your stuff, it’s straight fire, and I think it’s going to light up our listeners as well.

WAX: Well, that’s very flattering, Miss Schlock.

SCHLOCK: Call me Pam! Professor, are you familiar with the other radio shows Boomstick Media produces?

WAX: Not so much. I know you have someone who’s very popular called Poopmouth, I think they told me.

SCHLOCK: Absolutely. Poopmouth is very strong, 150 stations in 41 markets. It took him a few years to get there but he started fresh just as you’re starting, so the sky’s the limit. Are you familiar with Dean Wormer?

WAX: The name is familiar.

SCHLOCK: Dean Wormer is a former prep school administrator, he actually was a dean of men, though we named him after the Dean in Animal House and it really clicked with the older listeners. But he also hits younger demos who might not be so aware of vintage films and he’s getting very big traction, more stations every month, just amazing. His show is called Discipline and Punish, and he really works the academic thing like Jordan Peterson and Prager U, but with a kind of fun angle where he’ll put liberal politicians in detention, and maybe make them write out the Constitution a hundred times, things like that.

WAX: I see.

SCHLOCK: When my boss heard what you were saying on Glenn Loury’s show, he just went crazy for it. He absolutely loves what you’re saying and how you’re saying it, which is important on talk radio. And we understand that it’s not just Asians and Mexicans that you talk about, but you also said some things about black students at your own school and how most of them couldn’t even score a 75 in their classes,  is that correct?

WAX: Well, what I said was that they never graduated in the top 25% percent of the Penn Law Class, which is not quite the same —

SCHLOCK:  I’m sure I’m mixing it up and I do apologize, but the important thing is you make affirmative action and reverse racism really vivid with numbers and it sticks in people’s heads. That’s the essence of talk radio.

WAX: Ah.

SCHLOCK: But you know, Professor, it’s not all facts and figures. In radio we like to create a visceral impression with sounds as well as words. For instance, I wonder if you might freestyle a little for me about Asians and how they’re not really American and I’ll layer in some sounds and we’ll see what kind of effect we get.

WAX: All right, but first I want to make clear I never said all Asians have values inimical to ours — just most Asians.  

SCHLOCK: That’s OK, Professor, tell your story your way. John here may jump in and give us a little help, alright? Now let’s roll.

[WAX rubs her hands, folds them in front of her on the table, clears her throat.]

WAX: Well, you know, many conservatives say, let’s have more Asians in the country. They like to talk about the Asian work ethic, how Asians valorize achievement in business and education. But theirs is not the Anglo-Scot idea of achievement. No, theirs is more of an ant-like, collective model of achievement. Think of them working in their sweatshops, or teeming in the streets of their various ethnic enclaves —

[Quietly a gong sounds in the room, followed by mincing pseudo-Chinese music of the sort you might hear in an old Charlie Chan movie; WAX looks startled but SCHLOCK, working the faders, gives an encouraging nod and WAX presses on.]

— or their single-minded, almost robotic pursuit of good grades and honors at the exclusion of everything else that I see at Penn. They have none of the white students’ social sense. It’s not in their DNA. It’s almost as if they follow an unbidden voice that drives them —

[SCHLOCK pushes a fader and the “Kill for the love of Kali!” speech from Gunga Din threads in with the music, with the “Kill! Kill! Kill!” climax reverberating.]

— drives them like, like helpless slaves, like zombies, like denizens of an opium den, drugged, mindless, surging together like cattle into our suburbs, our gated communities. And to whom do they flock? The Democratic Party. And why? Because —

[SCHLOCK works the faders and the Gunga Din sample and Chinese music disappear, replaced by a generic 70s funky wah-wah peddle soul groove; a Hitler speech plays quietly underneath.]

— because, it’s because the Asians’ lack of agency or any notion of free will dovetails perfectly with the Democrat’s big-government philosophy of cradle-to-the-grave socialism. When Biden speaks they hear the voice of Mao. And they do this despite major philosophical differences, for example, the Democrats’ valorization of blacks, who are the group most responsible for anti-Asian violence in the United States.

[SCHLOCK fades Ice Cube’s Black Korea into the mix, and JOHN BROUN’s voice is pumped into the sound system.]

BROUN: [Strapping-buck dialect] What up, you chinky-chinee chop suey motherfuckers? Hey, you — yeah, you, pretty Chinese lady! What’s happenin’? Huh?

[WAX, startled and confused, looks at SCHLOCK, who pushes the sides of her own eyes up and makes buck-tooth faces like Father Ted doing an impersonation of the Chinese in “Are You All Right There Father Ted?”]

WAX: [Catching on, pushing up the sides of her eyes and doing a dialect] What you want? You want-a egg loll? You want-a dim sum? My boy go to Hahhvahhd!

BROUN: Yeah you got something for me, l’il cherry blossom bitch — million o’ damn illegal votes! You gimme them damn votes and the Democrat Party love you long time!

WAX: Oh, rong time! Me rove you rong time! Me vote sociarist!

[SCHLOCK turns down the music, happy and laughing. WAX, flushed, drinks deeply from her water bottle.]

SCHLOCK: Very good, Professor. And I especially liked the adjustment at the end. Now let’s try it again and this time? Fewer big words, please.

[BLACKOUT.]