Debate notes: Tubby's on a Bummer

Trump is obviously nuts. But will it matter?

[NOTE: I’m sending this early! If you’re still up, holla!]

Pre-debate notes: I resent having to pay attention to this.

I especially resent that, because we have company, I have to spend a few minutes on CNN watching Dana Bash interview Gavin Newsom, who predicts Harris “will get under Trump’s skin,” which is like every goddamn yap related to the event — a way of either unwittingly or purposefully setting an irrelevant expectation so someone can turn around later and say, “See, she didn’t get under his skin” [Spike Jones B.O. horn]

Dana Bash: “You’re dealing with a wildly unpredictable actor in Donald Trump” — goddamnit stop trying to make him look cool, he’s a gummy dotard and his yelling is only exciting to abused children.

Ugh the Fox News dotard is now telling us how Tulsi Gabbard beat Harris up, honey I was there, she was a hideous hybrid of Jill Stein and Putin disguised as an auto parts model.

“HILLARY OVERTHOUGHT” AAAAAGH

“We are only 14 minutes away…” Way to make it last FOREVER. God I hate these people.

Anyway — SHOWTIME!

David Muir and Lindsay Davis are like the pod embryos from Invasion of the Body Snatchers and their preshow gibberish is better suited to a game show than a debate.

I’m not sure millionaire politicians talking about small business owners is very convincing.

Tubby’s lie diffuser is pumping from go.

Why would you interrupt your economic message with a little horror movie about zombie immigrants?

I wonder if anyone who isn’t already in his tank hears shit like “Wharton professors think my plan is the best” and doesn’t just hear a fat guy bullshitting?  

I like it when Harris gets mad (like when she talks about China) and I wonder if she’s be told not to do it, because I think she should have come right out of the gate with this pepper.

Abortion gets Tubby lying harder than ever. Tim Walz says abortion in the ninth month? Who doesn’t know he’s full of shit?

Not sure lying about abortion is even good on Trump’s terms. It just reminds people of his repulsive policy. Also tying it to student loans is just weird.

I can see why Harris is doing the bad-cop bit on immigration, but frankly this issue is baked in for the Republicans — the people who think Biden’s letting in millions of rapist-murderers to take over midwestern towns are not going to be convinced otherwise by… well, anything.

“Attend one of Donald Trump’s rallies, because it’s a really interesting thing to watch” ha ha OK Madame Veep that was good.

“People don’t leave my rallies, we have the biggest rallies…” “IN SPRINGFIELD THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS THEY’RE EATING THE CATS” This guy is mentally ill. You all know that, right? Like, clinically? Not right in the head? (I don’t just mean the lies are insane, I mean a mentally sound person would not think yelling neo-Nazi Twitter content on national television is the way to win a national election.)

Also, does anyone still get a stiffy from his “you’re fired” thing?

As Harris answers Trump’s ravings about immigrant criminals with a catalogue of his criminal charges, I’m beginning to think she’s doing rope-a-dope. Maybe Gavin Newsom was right! Well, there’s a first time for everything.

“Many many billions. Many many billions.” Ashli Babbitt!? Does he think yelling “Nancy Pelosi” is a plus? Shit, he got a chance to say he isn’t an election denier and HE BOOTED IT.

“Clearly he is having a lot of trouble processing that” lol

“Victor Orban — they call him a strongman” lol this reminds me of a messenger I worked with who talked about a fight he was involved in at a juvenile facility and then added, “well, they called it a riot.”

“I knew Putin very well…” His advisors must have concussions from smacking themselves in the head.

“Dictators are so clear they can manipulate you with flattery and favors” bingo.

Too weird that CNN ran an ad for the new Joker movie during this.

Everyone knows Trump wants Putin to win the Ukraine war. I actually think this pretense that he wants to negotiate a settlement is actually a drawback for him. Given his base-only approach, why not just pimp out loud for Putin?

I wonder how many people knew before now that Trump invited the Taliban to Camp David? (LOL, probably the ones who didn’t know don’t give a shit.)

“I told Abdul, don’t do that anymore…” Come on.

I would hate Harris’ anodyne race pitch if it weren’t obviously calculated to get Trump to babble incoherently again — and so successful at it.

Re the ACA, “I have concepts of a plan” COME ON

Ahhh I see:

And like clockwork:

Boy does that take me back!

This is a LONG break before the closing statements. Did Tubby’s team get a chance to feed him some elephant tranks?

I think Harris’ performance would count as middling — she fails, for example, to say what people losing property insurance has to do with climate change (flooding!) — if she were not running against an obvious lunatic.

The real issue is: Will the fact that Trump rants and raves like a madman but IN A LOUD MANLY VOICE convince voters that he’s STILL GOT IT? My experience with normal people suggests not, but I’ve been wrong before! My takeaway is that he doesn’t expect to convince anyone outside his molten-brained base, whom he expects to help him seize power when he loses. Interesting times, y’all!

UP-FUCKING-DATE:

Well, we’ve long known they want Trump to win — but Trump’s no longer helping them help him. Maybe that’s his final fuck you to Haberman!