As always, condolences to Roy for having to channel the genius of our beloved Fuhrer. HEIL DRUMPF!!!
Of course, the inference of the post's theme conflicts with my thoughts and prayers re the person (I use the term loosely) around which the post revolves but obviously one doesn't always get what one wants. Nor what one even needs.
If they'd only thought of Virtual Reality sooner! Maybe we'd still have a democracy.
Because I enjoy absurdist humor, one of my very favorite things is when several of Trump's minions, who are evil but sane, answer questions with "of COURSE the President would never do (insert horrible thing), that was never even on the table as an option."
Then within hours/days Trump makes a speech or goes on Truth Social to say "I am doing (insert horrible thing) because I can and who's gonna stop me? I'll make a load of money and you people suck and deserve it."
Before the 2016 election, this was a joke going around: "Tell him he won, put him in a fake White House, film the whole thing." And then... well, you know.
"Now they say, they say 'don't build the Torment Nexus ', see, I remembered, many people say 'don't do that' but we're going to, we'll build the thing, and it'll be the greatest and everyone will come here and say 'that's the best' and we won't have to put them in it, only if they don't cooperate because everyone loves me, the world's favorite President "
This is gonna be one of those Ted Williams' Head situations, except the children are going to fight over the body because the head no longer serves any purpose.
OT, but hoping tomorrow's REBID will cover Escalatorgate, which is shaping up to be bigger than the Charlie Kirk shooting. Because Tubby himself was affected.
It is a perfect microcosm of MAGA, as his own people fucked up both the escalator AND the teleprompter, but the rage MUST be turned outward on The Usual Suspects as it MUST be part of some vast anti-Trump conspiracy by European elites.
Although Tubby assures us he's in GREAT SHAPE, and so is Melania. They could walk up the stairs, but why should they? Pete Souza posted, without comment, a photo he took of Obama on the same escalator, looking very cool.
Meanwhile, Macron's still limpin' toward the distant UN building, certain he will get there before they all break for the cabrace to the airport, whilst he nurses a tender hamstring (French hamstrings are the TENDEREST!)...
I guess the pot must be kept boiling? MAGA loyalists must get their daily dose of RAGE. They're already talking about it as a GLOBALIST PLOT. Myself, I blame the rootless cosmopolitans.
From what I know of Karoline Leavitt, she may mean "globalist" literally as "People who insist the Earth is globe-shaped." The sworn enemies of the flatalists.
If that honking big cross she wears gets any larger, it's going to unbalance her enough that she cracks her chin on the podium. I guess nobody told her you wear a fig leaf over your genitals, not around your neck.
I guess we should be grateful that brief fashion for wearing a nail around your neck* never caught on. "Railroad spike" would have become the latest in Competitive Christianity.
*I think this was a thing after Mel Gibson's torture-porn movie?
Used to be that "globalist" was broadly understood to be an anti-semitic slur. But that's before "anti-semitic" got redefined as "Concerned about starving Palestinians."
Oh, it still means "you know who", it's just that the Right is now allowed to be antisemitic because they do it in SUPPORT of Israel, unlike we foul Leftists who hate everything.
This prompts the question, what did Trump think he was doing at the Tylenol presser and the UN speech? Aside from diverting the press from the Epstein Files, what was to be gained from his replaying “I’m not a doctor but I’ll pretend I am” riff from the COVID bleach-and-light show? He said “Don’t take Tylenol” so many times, even the dimmest MAGA might be thinking, “Mmm, maybe I’ll try some of that acetaminophen instead.” Last time he spoke at the UN, they openly laughed at him. Does stunning the audience into horrified silence make this visit better somehow? Day after day, utterance after utterance, he more widely separates the sane from the cultists. Maybe by next spring, Democrats will understand that they gain nothing from pandering to the cult and everything from offering the sane an alternative.
"Give 'em just a little bit spread over 5 years" sounds like a great recipe for creating a population with sub-par resistance, a playground for any virus hoping to evolve vaccine resistance. Like when people get prescribed antibiotics but don't finish out the whole course.
Attention Capitalists! He may take your product and make up some foul slander about it, thus destroying your business, but it's OK, he's a REPUBLICAN and they're "pro-business", doncha know.
My original summer daydream had Trump fleeing to Moscow. His handler finally gets exasperated and lays down the law:
"No, Mr. Putin will not see you. Stop trying to contact him. From time to time, you will appear on State TV to comment on the latest American atrocities against world stability. You will be safe, comfortable and fed. The chambermaids are friendly and willing to please. I understand your feelings about alcohol, but there is plenty of vodka in the pantry. I suggest you acquire a taste."
My current late summer daydream is somewhat more pedestrian.
The long sidelined POTUS expires alone and unloved at his crumbling roach motel. The staff have made a quiet arrangement among themselves. As the last breath is exhaled, a per-determined signal goes out to the staff's friends and families. Mar a-Lago is thoroughly looted before the 911 call is made. As the first EMT vehicle approaches, a last rusty pickup truck, loaded with swag passes through the gate. The dark complected passengers wave merrily to the first responders, and accelerate into the humid Florida night.
Re: the Music Man reference—as the hometown of Meredith Willson, Mason City, Iowa, is awash in Music Man memorabilia. More interesting to me, it also has the historic Park Inn on the town square, a hotel designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, now run by the city. There is a lot of other Prairie School architecture in town as well. (No, I do not work for their chamber of commerce.)
You got tourists, right here in Mason City! That's tourists with a "t" that rhymes with "pee" which is what they have to do after the grande latte at Starbucks.
Is that Charlie Kirk’s favorite drink? (Steve B, if you weren’t aware of Escalatorgate, you probably don’t know about the lie-bral horror that befell a Mourner at an Illinois Starbucks. Look it up. The victimization never ends.)
We stayed at that hotel during a “mini vacation” (i.e., easily driveable) during Covid. The hotel was awesomely vintage, and Mason City, though a little down on its luck, was kind of fun for a day. Brew pub, historic buildings, etc.
James O'Brien showed a couple of clips from Tubby's visit to the UK, where "Abberbulgin' and Albania" later turned into "Armenia and Cambodia." How you score that depends on whether you're a "President half sane" or a "President half crazy" kind of person.
A friend suggested that a set of the West Wing and White House be constructed and Trump should have been made to believe he was president. But it would be a show. Audience could watch like on CSPAN.
That would male MAGAnuts happy and keep the world safe.
Highly amused.
As always, condolences to Roy for having to channel the genius of our beloved Fuhrer. HEIL DRUMPF!!!
Of course, the inference of the post's theme conflicts with my thoughts and prayers re the person (I use the term loosely) around which the post revolves but obviously one doesn't always get what one wants. Nor what one even needs.
If they'd only thought of Virtual Reality sooner! Maybe we'd still have a democracy.
Because I enjoy absurdist humor, one of my very favorite things is when several of Trump's minions, who are evil but sane, answer questions with "of COURSE the President would never do (insert horrible thing), that was never even on the table as an option."
Then within hours/days Trump makes a speech or goes on Truth Social to say "I am doing (insert horrible thing) because I can and who's gonna stop me? I'll make a load of money and you people suck and deserve it."
Before the 2016 election, this was a joke going around: "Tell him he won, put him in a fake White House, film the whole thing." And then... well, you know.
"Now they say, they say 'don't build the Torment Nexus ', see, I remembered, many people say 'don't do that' but we're going to, we'll build the thing, and it'll be the greatest and everyone will come here and say 'that's the best' and we won't have to put them in it, only if they don't cooperate because everyone loves me, the world's favorite President "
Thanks, a meme with which I was previously unfamiliar!
I suppose if Orwell was still alive he'd be saying this about 1984: "I was clearly telling you to NOT to do this!"
This is gonna be one of those Ted Williams' Head situations, except the children are going to fight over the body because the head no longer serves any purpose.
I'm something of a Civil War enthusiast, but The Battle of Ted Williams Head escaped my notice.
Sounds like a naval battle for a crucial lighthouse or battery.
It was the trial for the War of Jenkins' Ear
If I knew der Führer's head was going to repose for centuries upside down on a tuna can, frozen solid, I'd be all for cryonics.
"two RFKs, can you believe it" Pitch perfect. It's scary how well you channel his babble.
This explains a lot. Lately, I feel more and more like an NPC
Horrifyingly, isekai litrpg is starting to seem saner than reality.
OT, but hoping tomorrow's REBID will cover Escalatorgate, which is shaping up to be bigger than the Charlie Kirk shooting. Because Tubby himself was affected.
Maybe Trump will establish Escalator Auschwitz, the place with wayward automatic stairs can be confined until they learn to watch their step.
But then like 1200 escalators will go missing
Next time he'll demand to be brought in on a sedan chair, carried by Black women.
It is a perfect microcosm of MAGA, as his own people fucked up both the escalator AND the teleprompter, but the rage MUST be turned outward on The Usual Suspects as it MUST be part of some vast anti-Trump conspiracy by European elites.
Exhausting.
Plus it involves a lot of whining over something most people would just ignore and get on with things.
"STAIRS?!? You expect me to do anything but ascend upwards regally?"
To all fascists, image management is everything.
Although Tubby assures us he's in GREAT SHAPE, and so is Melania. They could walk up the stairs, but why should they? Pete Souza posted, without comment, a photo he took of Obama on the same escalator, looking very cool.
That’s why they go for the cruelty. The images resulting therefrom have a big impact on
“Image management is everything”
[applies another layer of orange pancake and spackles hand]
'Hand spackling' is euphemism of the day. 2 marks.
Euphemism or pejorative, I can't decide.
Meanwhile, Macron's still limpin' toward the distant UN building, certain he will get there before they all break for the cabrace to the airport, whilst he nurses a tender hamstring (French hamstrings are the TENDEREST!)...
I guess the pot must be kept boiling? MAGA loyalists must get their daily dose of RAGE. They're already talking about it as a GLOBALIST PLOT. Myself, I blame the rootless cosmopolitans.
From what I know of Karoline Leavitt, she may mean "globalist" literally as "People who insist the Earth is globe-shaped." The sworn enemies of the flatalists.
If that honking big cross she wears gets any larger, it's going to unbalance her enough that she cracks her chin on the podium. I guess nobody told her you wear a fig leaf over your genitals, not around your neck.
I guess we should be grateful that brief fashion for wearing a nail around your neck* never caught on. "Railroad spike" would have become the latest in Competitive Christianity.
*I think this was a thing after Mel Gibson's torture-porn movie?
I'm a member of that known terrorist organization, Anti-Flat
At least 2 stories or get outta heah!
You spelled flatulents incorrectly.
Mitch Hedburg on Escalators
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHopAo_Ohy0
As I always have to say: The fickle finger of blame always points out.
You know why he cares about the escalator? Because he was on it. If he wasn’t on the escalator, he wouldn’t care.
Nobody ever tells me anything, so I had to Google "Trump escalator" to find out that Karoline Leavitt says the Secret Service will be investigating.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-escalator-un-karoline-leavitt-b2832804.html
Oh sweet screaming Jesus. And of fucking course she went to Jesse Watters to reveal the conspiracy. What a festival of loathsome.
Used to be that "globalist" was broadly understood to be an anti-semitic slur. But that's before "anti-semitic" got redefined as "Concerned about starving Palestinians."
Oh, it still means "you know who", it's just that the Right is now allowed to be antisemitic because they do it in SUPPORT of Israel, unlike we foul Leftists who hate everything.
Sure, I want you and your people to all die in a lake of fire, but that's all for LATER! Love ya!
This is a hell of a thing to see on my notifications, out of context.
Does the escalator malfunction like the stair lift in Gremlins?
Don't tell me - he was stuck on a stopped escalator for hours until they fixed it.
Because if he moves a muscle it means THE ESCALATORS WIN
This prompts the question, what did Trump think he was doing at the Tylenol presser and the UN speech? Aside from diverting the press from the Epstein Files, what was to be gained from his replaying “I’m not a doctor but I’ll pretend I am” riff from the COVID bleach-and-light show? He said “Don’t take Tylenol” so many times, even the dimmest MAGA might be thinking, “Mmm, maybe I’ll try some of that acetaminophen instead.” Last time he spoke at the UN, they openly laughed at him. Does stunning the audience into horrified silence make this visit better somehow? Day after day, utterance after utterance, he more widely separates the sane from the cultists. Maybe by next spring, Democrats will understand that they gain nothing from pandering to the cult and everything from offering the sane an alternative.
"Does stunning the audience into horrified silence make this visit better somehow?" For the belligerent narcissist, absolutely.
Everybody sat there silently, if not respectfully, so BIG WIN.
“Springtime for Hitler” goes to the UN.
“A laugh riot!” —Ezra Klein, Potomac Daily Shopper
All attention is good attention for the narcissist.
Kids are gonna get the MMR vaccine five years in a row, but just a leetle bit each time, 'cause that's better, says Dr. Trump.
My kids were part of a study that showed increased the number of vaccines contained in each shot. Fewer jabs, more protection.
"Give 'em just a little bit spread over 5 years" sounds like a great recipe for creating a population with sub-par resistance, a playground for any virus hoping to evolve vaccine resistance. Like when people get prescribed antibiotics but don't finish out the whole course.
Also, was that the study where they decided to give the kids EIGHTY vaccines, pump 'em full LIKE A HORSE?
His uncle worked at MIT. So.
Don't take Tylenol says Trump! Not a violation of the US Constitution says SCOTUS in a shadow docket ruling!!
Attention Capitalists! He may take your product and make up some foul slander about it, thus destroying your business, but it's OK, he's a REPUBLICAN and they're "pro-business", doncha know.
i wagered on the "bib and drool" state before the end of the year and i don't think we've fallen behind schedule much at all...
Who gets the job of regularly changing his chin-mounted drool bucket? Such a job-creator, he is.
you just know they're gonna market that stuff for healings and/or holy unction.
( at least a Tylenol substitute)
Well you know that his crew at Large - a - Marge -o will be stuck with it one way or the other...
My original summer daydream had Trump fleeing to Moscow. His handler finally gets exasperated and lays down the law:
"No, Mr. Putin will not see you. Stop trying to contact him. From time to time, you will appear on State TV to comment on the latest American atrocities against world stability. You will be safe, comfortable and fed. The chambermaids are friendly and willing to please. I understand your feelings about alcohol, but there is plenty of vodka in the pantry. I suggest you acquire a taste."
My current late summer daydream is somewhat more pedestrian.
The long sidelined POTUS expires alone and unloved at his crumbling roach motel. The staff have made a quiet arrangement among themselves. As the last breath is exhaled, a per-determined signal goes out to the staff's friends and families. Mar a-Lago is thoroughly looted before the 911 call is made. As the first EMT vehicle approaches, a last rusty pickup truck, loaded with swag passes through the gate. The dark complected passengers wave merrily to the first responders, and accelerate into the humid Florida night.
What a day for a daydream!
I love it! Like Scrooge and the vision of his own death, except there's no redemption.
Nobody I know can write in the Dotard’s voice as well as you do
It's a good first start, but needs more break dancing, for 2025: A BASED ODYSSEY, TARA BUBBA II.
Eddie Haskell lol
Re: the Music Man reference—as the hometown of Meredith Willson, Mason City, Iowa, is awash in Music Man memorabilia. More interesting to me, it also has the historic Park Inn on the town square, a hotel designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, now run by the city. There is a lot of other Prairie School architecture in town as well. (No, I do not work for their chamber of commerce.)
Never mind any of that, is there a POOL HALL?
If this is a Music Man reference, I did not get it. I’m only familiar with that movie from Phil Hartman as Lyle Lanley.
Wow, you should really see the original. Eensy weensy Ron Howard, before he played Opie, belts out a song.
Does anyone know what the fuck a "Sheboopie" is?
It's better not to know.
Buddy Hackett knew, and look what it did to him.
Well if so my friends!
Ya Got Tribbles!
Oh...never mind – wrong fantasy era.
I would LOVE to see that.
You got tourists, right here in Mason City! That's tourists with a "t" that rhymes with "pee" which is what they have to do after the grande latte at Starbucks.
Is that Charlie Kirk’s favorite drink? (Steve B, if you weren’t aware of Escalatorgate, you probably don’t know about the lie-bral horror that befell a Mourner at an Illinois Starbucks. Look it up. The victimization never ends.)
OH THE HUMANITY
Alt.: "See, boyz-n-gurls? Secret security cameras are GOOD for you!
https://www.historicparkinn.com/
We stayed at that hotel during a “mini vacation” (i.e., easily driveable) during Covid. The hotel was awesomely vintage, and Mason City, though a little down on its luck, was kind of fun for a day. Brew pub, historic buildings, etc.
Sensing a Twilight Zone vibe here, which is making me want a cigarette for some reason.
You probably also want to submit something for our approval, right?
Submit THIS!
James O'Brien showed a couple of clips from Tubby's visit to the UK, where "Abberbulgin' and Albania" later turned into "Armenia and Cambodia." How you score that depends on whether you're a "President half sane" or a "President half crazy" kind of person.
Will no one stop the horrific war raging between New Zealand and Andorra?
Andorra: the only nation that set as state policy the inability to make up its mind.
A friend suggested that a set of the West Wing and White House be constructed and Trump should have been made to believe he was president. But it would be a show. Audience could watch like on CSPAN.
That would male MAGAnuts happy and keep the world safe.
I like what you've done with it.
Play kings are always better than the real ones.