[Above, actual pitch email from buildingourmovement.com]
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Aug. 1, 2020
Roy,
For the SECOND MONTH IN A ROW you’ve had the same status in our donor drive:
MISSING.
We don’t like to mention it, but when we get on our regular calls with President Trump to review the most recent list of Patriots who contributed to our critical $50,000,000 July End-of-Month Goal, he doesn’t just notice who hasn’t contributed — he makes comments.
He was especially disappointed that YOU hadn’t contributed — so disappointed that he made up nicknames for you like he does with liberals and RINOs.
Do you know what he called you?
“ROTTEN COMMUNIST ROY” and “EMPTY ENVELOPE EDROSO”!
If you continue to let down President Trump, we hate to think what he might say next.
Can you AFFORD to take that chance? It would only take a pledge of $49 or more to change the President;’s mind.
Remember, the President activated a special 1,000%-MATCH on all donations to help us CRUSH our HUGE $50,000,000 goal.
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Aug. 12, 2020
Your MISSING status in our donor drive to reelect President Trump has become an embarrassment to all of us — but especially to you.
Perhaps you’ve noticed your family treating you a little differently lately — not with the same level of love and respect as before. Don’t believe me? Study them closely — really closely. I know you’ll see signs of doubt and confusion in their eyes.
I think you know why that is.
Now go out and look at your local police officers. Do they seem like the same loyal, friendly guardians of law and order you’ve known them to be all your life? Or do they look more like angry, violent men who wouldn’t mind hitting you with a nightstick and shoving you into the back of an unmarked van?
That’s no coincidence.
When we joined President Trump to review the most recent list of Patriots who contributed to our critical $150,000,000 August End-of-Month Goal, the President was joined by some of America’s top law enforcement agents. And they all noticed your name was missing.
“Looks like ANTIFA EDROSO shares the views of the radicals and communists who are just begging to be hit with nightsticks and shoved into the back of an unmarked van,” said a “top cop” whose name rhymes with Kernard Berik.
When you come up with your pledge of $69 or more, you’ll be able to look your loved ones in the eye again — and get to and from your destination safely without receiving the “ANTIFA EDROSO” treatment.
Remember, the President activated a special 2,000%-MATCH on all donations to help us OBLITERATE our HUGE $200,000,000 goal.
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Aug. 12, 2020
These are dark days for America. The Red Chinese spreading China Virus — Antifa rioting in our cities — millions out of work thanks to Democrat socialism. But these don’t bother President Trump very much — he knows how to handle them.
What he can’t handle is disloyalty. He knows that it cuts at the very heart of our movement — and why Abraham Lincoln, otherwise the gentlest of men, had Benedict Arnold hung as a traitor — because treason is the one unforgivable crime!
The mood was festive when we joined President Trump to review the most recent list of Patriots who contributed to our critical $250,000,000 August End-of-Month Goal. So many Patriots have contributed that we expect to exceed our goals and win all 50 states in November!
But President Trump’s face went dark when we read him the names of those who had not contributed — and it went darker still when we read him your name — because you had disappointed him so often.
Maybe you don’t care what President Trump thinks. Or maybe you think he doesn’t care if you don’t contribute $73 or more by MIDNIGHT AUGUST 19. After all, you’re just one man. Surely he doesn’t even know you’re alive!
But there you would be wrong. The President is generous with his friends, and would do anything for them — including getting them out of prison for crimes of which they had already been found guilty or had even confessed to. But he is merciless toward his enemies. Watch the news: Whenever you hear of a Republican suffering an untimely death, catching the China virus, or going to prison and NOT getting a pardon, you can bet that person got on President Trump’s bad side. He never forgets and he never forgives.
And if you think they don’t hang people for treason any more, watch what happens to Mitt Romney on January 20, 2021 — the day that President Trump is inaugurated.
Remember, the President activated a special 5,000%-MATCH on all donations to help us EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION our HUGE BILLION DOLLAR goal.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Hilarious. But since nothing is over-the-top any more you're probably giving them ideers! It's like trying to invent a conspiracy scam or other insanity they couldn't possibly believe in. You end up with Louis Gomert saying his mask gave him COVID and a doctor trotted out by Trump as vindication of his own medical expertise who believes in demons and witches.
[Trump reviewing campaign contributors] Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. EDROSO!!! You traitorous bastard, ante up!
He *sees* you, you know.