148 Comments
User's avatar
Manqueman's avatar

Man, this is hopeful.

Me, Donny has already done a lot of harm to the nation, nearly all of which will be lasting. And no matter how low energy he is or how much ever more voters suss out he’s bad or whatever, there’s always the infantile lashing out or need to show he’s strong to provoke bad behavior. And no matter how dissed or whatever he is, he has nigh-infinite power.

Meanwhile, whilst reading through the post, it struck me that no major leader of the past century or so cared less about the wellbeing of the nation they led than our Donny.

And all that said, mockery of the POS is perfectly acceptable.

SteveB's avatar

"nearly all of which will be lasting"

The destruction of our public health systems could be long-lasting if they'd bothered to create some alternative that people liked better. Sadly, no.

redoubtagain's avatar

He ain't in charge anymore, he and everyone around him knows it. Everyone around him is carving little fiefdoms while pretending everything is normal.

He's the cruel old man in the nursing home who nobody ever comes to see; he can no longer even control his bowels, and snaps and growls at the attendants and anyone he deems "beneath him."

SteveB's avatar

"He's the cruel old man in the nursing home..."

Who just ordered the nursing home to tear down its East Wing.

Bern's avatar

One a those religious old folks homes, comin' in on a wing and a prayer...

SteveB's avatar

God's Waiting Room

Bern's avatar

Of all the folks one should NEVER keep waiting...

Derelict's avatar

In the minds of the public, Trump is best known for his tagline "you're fired! from his Apprentice glory days. And since he's constantly trying to relive those glory days, it seems only fitting that America eventually responds with "you're canceled due to extremely low ratings."

Worriedman's avatar

At the risk of mixing my television metaphors- He's gotten boring and they're ready to vote him off of the island.

Derelict's avatar

He might try to save the show by having Leavitt, Bondi, and Noem do a routine as The Trump Dancers in body suits and nylons.

Mr. Ziffel's avatar

Ladies and gentlemen, once again...THE AOOGA SISTERS!

Derelict's avatar

Hominna-hominna!

Bern's avatar

And 2 marks to you too!

SteveB's avatar

Just peelin' the marks off a big roll he keeps in his pocket.

Bern's avatar

2 marks!

SteveB's avatar

Jazz Hands (covered in blood)

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Like one of the cut scenes in Austin Powers? Or more Laugh-In?

Derelict's avatar

Looney Tunes.

ohsopolite's avatar

I'm eagerly awaiting "That's all, folks!".

LittlePig's avatar

Smile when you say that, Padnah.

Derelict's avatar

Lift those puppies off the ground!

Shake those hips! Wave 'em round!

Pick 'em up and put 'em down!

The Trump Dancers' routine!

Pere Ubu's avatar

"Puppies?" asks Noem, chambering a round

SteveB's avatar

Pull down your mask and pull up your socks!

Put a five-year-old in a box!

SteveB's avatar

Now I'm imagining a Jerry Lewis-style telethon called Hearses for Nurses

LittlePig's avatar

AHHHHH. Jerry Lewis telethon. Must you? Must you? The horror,

LittlePig's avatar

Seriously, those hurt. Jerry never got over Percocet addiction. It hurts, for I too am a recovering opioid addict, and I so get it, oh boy do I get it. It breaks my heart.

LittlePig's avatar

No, dammit (John Wayne voice). We're gonna show Jerry Lewis before the accident. With that man I love beyond all others.

https://youtu.be/wWulNMLukVE

Rand Careaga's avatar

I am far from certain that if the regime becomes persuaded that it’s facing a wipeout in November, they will not take extraconstitutional steps to prevent the referendum from occurring this year or two years hence. “One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship.”

SteveB's avatar

But their election-rigging and voter suppression is all based on fantasy, ain't it? Sure, the only way Democrats win is by getting MILLIONS OF ILLEGALS to vote for them, we'll require everyone to show a passport before they vote and then we'll WIN ALL THE ELECTIONS. But who's more likely to have a passport, your college-educated liberal Democrat or your stopped-at-high school Trump voter? Who's going to be more discouraged by the loss of mail-in voting, the D-votin' Gen Z kids or their R-votin' grandparents?

Yeah, it's bad, it's wrong, but the reason they think it will work for them is that they've lost all touch with reality.

Derelict's avatar

Remember Trump declaring he lost New Hampshire because Democrats bussed in over a million illegals to vote against him there?

I've had conservatives tell me with a straight face that under Joe Biden, ten million illegals were coming over the board every month. Now, you or I might have noticed that, after year 2, more than half of everyone on the street is speaking Spanish. But no worries! All those illegals are hiding in Democrat-provided housing, taking all the good jobs while sucking up all the welfare, buying all the nice homes while living in Section 8 housing.

SteveB's avatar

" ten million illegals were coming over the board every month"

Let's just say numeracy ain't their strong suit

Bern's avatar

Alla those legions of secret-English-as-a-second-language teachers down Mexico way gonna be outted and offed by the magaminions soon's they get the slouching orders.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

The only place in New Hampshire where you find a million people voting at once is in the state legislature.

[percussion sting] HI-yooooooo!

SteveB's avatar

Yeah, I'd like to percussion Sting, but his former bandmates are in line in front of me.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Is there no perfidy to which they won't stoop!

Pere Ubu's avatar

Ten million? A MONTH? For FOUR YEARS?

It's a wonder there's anyone in Venezuela to be invaded!

Bern's avatar

And alla this oil just LYIN' AROUND!

SteveB's avatar

18 million in all of Guatemala, or less than 2 months worth.

Rand Careaga's avatar

If they perceive some risk that rigging and suppression might not be enough, surely a ginned-up “state of emergency” would justify the attempt to cancel (yes, I know that elections are conducted state-by-state, which is why this crowd wants to “nationalize” them) the vote or nullify the outcome. This will sound alarmist of me, but does anyone imagine that this crowd means to yield up the sceptre meekly?

SteveB's avatar

Shit, these guys couldn't subdue Minneapolis (I know, Famous Last Words)

Bern's avatar

Whatever. And anyway, you KNOW the Peppuss Pleasse! police won't be deployed in the red-stained states.

SteveB's avatar

Well, there are certain parts of New York City I would not advise them to invade.

Pere Ubu's avatar

The Soviets got their asses handed to them by Afghanistan, and the Union fell not so long after. And this was the enraged bear we supposedly faced off over the Fulda Pass.

LittlePig's avatar

I still can't get over that. Really? Really??? Americans elected this demonstably Nazi asshole. You saw it before, you fuckers. Can't have a black woman President, now can we?

And so I read with great joy how this time around the farmers are getting the Screwosis Yeah, other groups are effective, but for me, it's farmers. Those jokers have been living off the government tit since forever. Yeah, hardcore Republicans. (I'm always reminded of a Bloom County strip where Milo is teaching Opus how to be a farmer. "Say these two sentences without laughing" "OK" "The government needs to get offa my back!" "The government needs to get off of my back!" "Good. Now, Where's my government bail-out check?!!" "Where's my government bwahahaha hahaha hahaha") This is what you voted for, and it delights my soul to see Republicans having to face consequences.

SundayStyle's avatar

Hear hear, Roy. Really, the most encouraging news I've seen is both self-identified Independents surging away from Trump, and even more remarkably, low-information/low-engagement voters (the dummies who put him over the top) are moving away from him, too.

There's always going to be a core of MAGAs whose entire identity has fused with Trump and his fortunes, but you don't win national elections, or maybe even state-wide ones, with only that rump backing you. I've been following the G. Elliott Morris site Fifty Plus One, which I turned to after the demise of FiveThirtyEight (what, you think I'm going to read *Nate Silver*?!?!). There is and has been consistently hopeful news for a while now.

Worriedman's avatar

That would be the degenerate gambler Nate Silver. I always like to clarify that.

SundayStyle's avatar

"Yes, I've spent 72 hours playing poker without sleeping, eating, or washing and my statistical judgement is unimpeachable, why do you ask?"

SteveB's avatar

[Bill Bennett nods in agreement]

redoubtagain's avatar

Yeah this. How someone who cracks numbers for a living can be so incredibly gullible as to pretend not to know that The House Always Wins escapes me.

(I initially typed "runs numbers for a living" but then thought, "he might actually want to *do* that.")

SteveB's avatar

Low-info voters rush to the Dems, I'll take it, don't get me wrong, but life in America has reached such a state of suckitude that low-info voters will be reflexively against whoever is on their TV playing the Boss. And these are the people who determine the outcomes, since roughly equal portions are locked into the R and D teams. America swing like a pendulum do.

Bern's avatar
Feb 19Edited

Bobbies hit bicyclists (with) two by fours

SteveB's avatar

Bobbie never hit the bicyclist, the bicyclist hit the bear

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Would it kill you to say "a four by two" to maintain the rhyme?

Bern's avatar

I'm built of different timbre, boyo.

SteveB's avatar

[rotates board 90 degrees, scratches chin thoughfully]

Bern's avatar

Kidz be goin' "Don't overthink it Mr B"

Bern's avatar

"low-information/low-engagement voters"

So, pretty much the leaning-toward-vast majority, then?

SteveB's avatar

I just wish I could figure out the trick to turning low-engagement voters into no-engagement non-voters. Since it involves an invitation to do even less, you'd think it would be easy.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Fifty-Plus-One? Or Strength In Numbers?

SundayStyle's avatar

I'm a Strength In Numbers subscriber, so I'm not sure if that's a prerequisite for accessing the Fifty Plus One site or not. SIN has more analysis/essays while FPO has more polls.

SteveB's avatar

These names stir my math-teacher heart. The Revolution will be quantified!

ssdd's avatar

If folks are bored, all they have to do is wait a few weeks for the new season of “Let’s Bomb Iran!” That always seems to perk people up.

SteveB's avatar

Nah, I think this show has reached the stage where some major character needs to get shot [awaiting the call from the Secret Service - JUST KIDDIN' GUYS]

ssdd's avatar

Rumor is the new season features AI John McCain in a recurring role as a sort of Jacob Marley to Trump’s Scrooge. The twist is trump never learns anything.

SteveB's avatar

"No learning" was the rule for Seinfeld, there it was funnier.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Also "no hugging," which, ew.

SteveB's avatar

There's an American flag now undergoing years of therapy that would have appreciated that rule.

Roy Edroso's avatar

On the contrary, I think we've reached the point where not even a war in the Middle East is good for ratings.

SteveB's avatar

Remember when "Wag the Dog" was a thing? Then came Iraq and Afghanistan, and the public lost its taste for such things. "Wait, you mean OUR guys die too? Nobody told me that!"

Whipstitch's avatar

I think Trump is too lazy to do a full-scale war. He's going to lob in a few bombs, claim victory and ignore it if Iran retaliates.

SteveB's avatar

Will this be one of the dozen wars he claims credit for ending?

Ellis Weiner's avatar

True dat. We'd miss the comic stylings of Hegseth trying to recapitulate Rumsfeld's manly briefings from the podium, forgetting how Rummy was reviled by the end.

SteveB's avatar

Rummy just didn't have enough BOOYAH

Pere Ubu's avatar

There's a whole bunch of people who won't be able to ignore that retaliation. Let's create more al Qaedas! Whee! Went SO WELL the first time 🫩

Worriedman's avatar

You need to get a memograph machine and start mailing us copies. I worry about you consorting with all those shady internet types. Think of how good the house will smell!

Rand Careaga's avatar

“Memograph” – that’s a delightful neologism. Two marks, as the man says.

SteveB's avatar

Creates a vivid picture of White House staff turnin' the crank while huffin' the duplicating fluid.

Bern's avatar

turnin' up for the crank, Shirley

Rugosa's avatar

I began my office "career" in the 70s. I always got a laugh when I'd mention the duplicating fluid as the reason most of your high school teachers were nuts. By the 90s, younger co-workers didn't get it.

Whipstitch's avatar

So they're not nuts any more?

Rugosa's avatar

No, they're still nuts. It's actually teaching teenagers that gets them that way.

SteveB's avatar

Ha ha, "teaching", as if the teenagers would ever allow that

Whipstitch's avatar

It's been a (very) long time for me, but I'd be surprised if a rash of sanity had broken out in that sector.

SnarkiNorski's avatar

Just hearing the word mimeograph transports me back to kindergarten where the smell of that fluid wafted into our room from the hallway, along with chalk powder from the roaring eraser cleaner.

SteveB's avatar

Sorry, I wish you had better madeleines.

Roy Edroso's avatar

Many of us have such madeleines that we will never smell again -- like leaded gasoline!

Could be that's part of the psychological motivation for Trump's environmental policy.

Bern's avatar

Our chalkboard eraser was named Melanie.

henry sholar's avatar

not a hard choice these days between righteous indignation and the ravening of dogs. still looking for some hegelian way outta here, stupidly. but the cacophony of horn blowing support by traffic at the weekly demonstrations down at the ICE headquarters does sound like a riot of disgust. They blare their horns and the interfaith people are praying or singing, i'm on that fateful corner where i need eleven dollar bills and i've only got ten. i just dunno.

'state of the union' gonna be lit — anon,@bluesky and i concur. and this mourning, uh moaning, you know, morning, i am imagining the leader of my rogue nation to announce in that speech that he has ordered his sec 'awar to nuke somebody somewhere, and half the audience will cheer, standing. (i remember those "mass deportation" signs, don'tcha know)

Bern's avatar

Every mornin' find me moanin'

Bern's avatar

'Cause of all the trouble I see

k_kamath's avatar

What about the poster boys for this new clean lifestyle? Reminiscent of Putin, shirtless, on horseback no less.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/rfk-jr-and-kid-rock-bizarrely-strip-off-to-push-maha-agenda/

Ah, it takes me back to the old movies, the Westerns and gangster pics, the screwball comedies and quirky B movies. I am comforted by these ludicrous displays. The old men showing they still have it, the grandma doing the splits at her 80th birthday. Trump should take out the garbage and change his own diaper on YouTube. That'll turn the polls around.

SteveB's avatar

Yeah, tellin' The American People to eat better and exercise more ALWAYS works.

And damn you, DAMN YOU TO HELL for puttin' that link under my cursor.

Bern's avatar

[Kidz be goin' "Should we do the intervention? Mr B done clicked another link."]

Bern's avatar

At least his curser is still workin'...

SteveB's avatar

Still mostly points in the right direction

Bern's avatar

Bats right, curses left

k_kamath's avatar

He's cursing his cursor's functionality.

SteveB's avatar

How many curses could my cursor curse, in the course of some cursory cursoring?

Whipstitch's avatar

Coming from somebody who snorts coke off toilet seats.

DrBDH's avatar

And gets in an ice bath wearing bluejeans. Weird.

SteveB's avatar

Look, maybe Michelle Obama just picked the wrong celebrities for her "Let's Move!" campaign? If I wanted to select for that part of the population which is NOT physically active and eating healthy, people for whom "balanced breakfast" means "Wash the pills down with a swig from a half-gallon plastic bottle of McCormick Vodka", it's likely Kid Rock fans are a very large part of that demographic, yes?

Rodger French's avatar

Excellent commentary. Thanks.

Circumspectral's avatar

It’s like a super popular sitcom (or at least popular enough to make it a thing) that inevitably loses its juice and the public suddenly collectively moves on, agreed upon as if by jungle telegraph and no one gives a shit anymore, notwithstanding fulminating diehards begging the network to keep the show on the air. Kind of a banal observation, but that was how I coped during Trump 1. And thought I was vindicated when he got crushed in 2020. Remember all the spontaneous street dancing that early November even before it was official?

But analogies are never perfect and this one metastasized in several directions at once, becoming something dark and horrible. Instead of sane people watching the franchise disappear quietly to general relief, the diehards vandalized the studio building. The execs, sensing opportunity, waited a few seasons, chose to go with self-parody for version 2.0, brought in a new cast of over-the-top lunatics and it’s been Fonzie jumping the shark on a daily loop for the last year, overwhelming an audience forced to watch with its eyes jammed open Clockwork Orange style. Like a Groundhog Day of Groundhog Days.

LittlePig's avatar

Well, the British police drove up to Sandrimham and threw former Prince Andy in the hoosegow. What a difference over there.

Roy Edroso's avatar

Like I said elsewhere: Just as America became a refuge to Jews and opponents of the Nazis in World War II, in the Trump era America will become a refuge for rich pedophiles.

DrBDH's avatar

That’s former prince Andy.

Bern's avatar

Not-pauper tho – at least not yet.

SteveB's avatar

Somehow these guys can live for decades even though their net worth is always in the negative millions. I guess they just rely on the kindness of strangers.

SteveB's avatar

The convict formerly known as Prince?

SteveB's avatar

"on suspicion of misconduct in public office"

Mercy me, that does sound serious! So glad we broke away from those guys about 250 years ago so we don't have that shit goin' on here.

Bern's avatar

Well he's hoosegow-free already, whilst his brother sez "Andy Who?"

The light touch in the reporting so far has been the gentle removal today of artworks from the walls of his downmarket abode. So maybe the temporarily embarrassed squizillionaire was borrowing the wall candies from the office...Off with his Head!*

*yer choice which head

On a slightly related note, the former leader of South Korea (who prompted the Trump-lite coup-let awhile back, was sentenced to life (such as it is) in prison. The prosecutors recommended death but the court tooka pass. "Life" in prison in SK apparently amounts to ~20 years.

The fun little detail from the Beeb reporter was that of the several previous political leaders prosecuted and sentenced to life (or in one instance death) ALL the sentences were eventually commuted or entirely pardoned.

Michael H Webster's avatar

Regarding the part about Biden creating a surge of immigration so they can vote Democratic, that is mostly if not entirely false, but I can see how folk in the hinterland might be inclined to buy it. About a million green cards per year were handed out under Biden, which Claude says is normal, not a surge. But looking at border crossings, both legal and illegal, there apparently was a significant surge, although deportations were up as well. Reportedly, Pew found about 3 million stayed illegally. So not a lot in the big picture, and only citizens can vote in federal elections. Seems unlikely that illegals would expose themselves to try to vote illegally, or that legals would risk their green cards to vote illegally.

But things look different outside of the major metropolitan areas. Biden let in about 500,000 people from Haiti and Latin America for humanitarian reasons, and most of them ended up in smaller cities and towns and states that are more likely to vote Republican. At my job, for example the influx of Haitians and Latinos was very obvious, and I saw direct evidence that they displaced some American workers. So that’s the kind of thing regular people and blue-collar workers see, which I’m sure makes it easier to believe all the bullshit.

Of course the reason they get those jobs, for the most part, is because employers can’t fill them with competent people otherwise.

SteveB's avatar

Hypothetical word problem: A roofer has a crew of 5, two citizens and 3 undocumented non-citizens. ICE deports the 3 undocumented workers, how many jobs are created for citizens?

The correct answer is negative two, the roofer goes out of business because he can't do the work any more.

Bern's avatar

I got a problem with those hypothetical words.

Roy Edroso's avatar

It's like Tubby showing the immigrant crime mugshots: you can as easily -- arguably much MORE easily -- be raped and murdered by a fellow native born American. What about the criminal being Mexican makes it worse?

SteveB's avatar

Well, obviously the fear of MISCEGENATION

Michael H Webster's avatar

An interesting sidebar to when they replaced the American janitorial crew with a bunch of Latinas, if the MAGA guys noticed it in that context, they didn’t say anything. Outwardly, they thought it was great. The Latinas did a much better job, and they liked flirting with the cute one. I don’t think they noticed or cared that Americans were displaced. As we have all noticed, they don’t really believe in anything, other than saying whatever sounds good that will help them gain power.

And to your point, white guys raping brown women is a tradition at least as old as the conquest. Doite de Seignor, or something like that.

SteveB's avatar

TIL Kim Jong Un is all Sad Beige Mom when it comes to the books on his bookshelves.

Pink Collar (retd.)'s avatar

But background bling is restrained and tasteful, compared to you-know-whose.

SteveB's avatar

In North Korea, you can read any book you want as long as it's off-white!

Pink Collar (retd.)'s avatar

I see more green covers. To connote the flourishing of the nation, under the guidance of of Dear Leader's genius?

(U.S. Dear Leader and his cadre permit reference to "green" if followed by "scam.")

SteveB's avatar

Yes, it's that pale green color they used to paint the walls of mental hospitals.

Bern's avatar

I completely lost track of what this references, but I hearted it anyway.

DrBDH's avatar

This is where I remind everyone (looking at you, Supreme Court) that Trump is a convicted felon and adjudicated rapist but Colorado was not allowed to keep him off the ballot

SteveB's avatar

At the same time, it makes me very sad that the American Voter is stupid enough to require this sort of protection.

DrBDH's avatar

They didn’t put Jefferson Davis on the ballot after the Civil War, even though the racists would’ve voted for him. Why let Trump on?

Cheez Whiz's avatar

Because the Supreme Court unanimously decided in Trump vs Colorado that "presidential eligibility was too important to be left to the states". Colorado couldn't decide willy-nilly that Trump was ineligible. Only the Republican party can do that.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

"My novel theory is that Trump’s plummeting approval ratings come not from popular outrage at his actions, of the sort us nervous nellies constantly feel, but from tedium and contempt."

Recall Kamala's (terrific) invititation to viewers to attend one of Tubster's rallies, so they can watch people leaving early out of "exhaustion and boredom."

Note, too, that he fell asleep today at the opening meeting of the transcendently-stupidly named Board of Peace. As Malcolm Ferguson of the New Republic observes, "the bored-of-peace jokes write themselves." Sad!

Cheez Whiz's avatar

Some substantial percentage of Trump's voters did so because they found him entertaining, the main purpose of politics in their view. His lack of coattails is a testimony to that perception. That plus his percieved "vigor" vs Sleepy Genocide Joe. Bot those qualiities are in short supply to say the least. I don't think the ICE Capades or Bomb Bomb Iran are going to fill that gap. The only thing that can prevent a massive Democratic blowout is the Democratic party.

SteveB's avatar

"The only thing that can prevent a massive Democratic blowout is the Democratic party."

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED say the Democratic Leaders

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Ouch. But two marks (as they say) for ICE Capades. It took me around 70 years to realize that it was a play on "escapades."

Bern's avatar

HOLD MY KETCHUP! says the Queensman

SteveB's avatar

To quote Yogi Berra: "I don't think either of these teams can win"

Pere Ubu's avatar

Of course, not to be Captain Bringdown, once we get relieved of der Führer, there's still the GOP as a whole to deal with, because they still seem enthusiastic about The Project even if they're getting tired of the puppeteer.

SteveB's avatar

Ah, but just imagine the PARADISE America will be when there are 217 Republicans in Congress instead of 218.

Mark Lungo's avatar

Disgust, righteous indignation, one Big Mac too many... whatever works.