I DON'T CARE A STRAW FOR YOUR NEWSPAPER ARTICLES; MY CONSTITUENTS DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ, BUT THEY CAN'T HELP SEEING THEM DAMNED PARODY VIDEOS!

Funny or Die did a Planned Parenthood sting parody that's only borderline amusing in and of itself, but hilarious in its impact on dummies. Megan Fox of PJ Media:

Funny or Die has probably been on your Facebook feed once or twice. It is...

...that website that had that Will Ferrell bit with the little girl landlord who swears and the Zach Galifianakis interview with Barack Obama and some other online laffs, right? Thunderously no!

...a project founded by a spoiled rich kid who asked his very wealthy father to fund his frat-humor-turned-money-maker online comedy show. The wealthy daddy-benefactor is Mark Kvamme, who happens to be Governor Kasich’s sugar daddy. Kasich has been flying around in Kvamme’s jet with his campaign.

Are you not-laughing yet?

Unfortunately for Kasich (and Mark Kvamme), Michael Kvamme (pampered trust-fund baby) seems to think that Planned Parenthood’s scandalous and barbaric — not to mention illegal — methods of altering abortions to preserve organs to sell on the open market is funny.

Well, when you put it that way --

All of this is told by what I think might be minor celebrities (or semi-successful comedians) I’ve never heard of...

The video stars Kristin Wiig.*

Then Fox goes on about the latest real PP sting vid ("StemExpress employees taking blood samples from women and fetal tissue their aborted babies for research without their consent!") and yells at Funny or Die some more:

I’m surprised that this Funny or Die sketch didn’t go for broke and just make fun of aborted babies, like the pro-abortion Left usually does. Normally, when they are feeling secure in their dominance, they’ll really go for the disgusting abortion jokes.

Yeah, doesn't Jimmy Fallon do a couple of these every night?

None of that is in this video, which leads me to believe that they know exactly how much trouble Planned Parenthood is in and this is the best damage control they can manage.

They're only not doing these disgusting jokes because they know they'd get in trouble!  After a while she sniffs that Funny or Die is made up of "unfunny losers" and melts into a puddle.

You know why Donald Trump is really leading the GOP polls? Silly as Fox's column is, try thinking of it instead as a longform version of those Trump tweets in which The Donald lays down what he surely perceives as wisdom on subjects ranging from outside his expertise to in another universe from his expertise ("Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert"). Trump scores with conservatives because this is how they "analyze" everything -- that is, the same way Fox analyzes this modest video joke. They don't really think about it, they just react, making up ludicrous shit on the spot about how Kristin Wiig isn't anybody and those so-called comedians aren't really funny, etc. But in the silence that ensues, they have to imagine that people are cheering in response, whereas Trump has had the money and media access to train people to provide actual cheers. That's why they love him -- he's living their dream.

UPDATE. I see Greg Gutfeld, the Shecky Greene of Punching Down, had something to say about this parody video on his Fox News show. This line is already justly celebrated:

It's called Funny Or Die, but fetuses don't have that choice because they're already dead.

But with comedy greats like Gutfeld, the backswing is often choice too, and this one's no exception:

It's a shame that Funny Or Die didn't exist generations ago because they would have been great propagandists for Stalin.

And you thought the Jon Stewart butthurt was bad! Ain't culture-war hell? (I'm working from a partial transcript, so apologies if I missed any mention of Alinsky.)

*UPDATE 2. Commenters tell me that's not Kristin Wiig in the video -- apparently I misidentified Alice Wetterlund from The Interview and Silicon Valley. The whole cast is lesser-known comedians or, as Fox has it, "unfunny losers." Still pretty good, though.