Iron Mansgiving

Happy holiday, tough guys and gals

© 2015 David Robert Crews, used under a Creative Commons license

Hey, I assume you’re currently balls-deep in Thanksgiving travel or cooking or eating or socializing or some mix thereof. Allow me to add to your hoard of blessings:

I’m going to keep this short.

I know — you’re accustomed to me delivering between 800 and 1500 words of world-class copy every single weekday, every week all year long, even on holidays. And while you probably appreciate the effort, you may from time to time wonder 1.) whether or not I’ll snap under the constant pressure and 2.) whether you should feel bad for enabling it.

It’s a dilemma for me too! On the one hand, having to come up to the plate every goddamn day and try and hit it out of the park is a strain, but it’s also a challenge — and when I do well (and I think my average in this regard is respectable) I have the pleasure of knowing that I’ve given you good people your money’s worth and perhaps a little bit extra.

So I am, despite the pulled hamstrings and shin splints and labral tears (or the journalistic/literary equivalents thereof), content. But I realize those of you who are paying attention (and if you’re not, thanks and please keep your CC information up to date) may worry that one day you’ll open your mailbox and find that I have filed one hundred lines of “all work and no play make jack a dull boy,” or a Xerox of my butt and a sound file of maniacal laughter.

Don’t worry, friends. I’ve been in the game a long time and I know my limitations. So behold, here is a — well, I was going to say a half-assed post, but I really never half-ass anything, not for paying customers, even when I write short. So here is a less effortful post. Let us, on this day of Thanks-spreading, resolve to give one another a break; and, if you happen to also be the sort of person who gives 110% and has trouble laying off — even when you have an excuse, or a reason, or really need to —know that there is at least one other person who knows how it is and is saying, it’s okay — you can take it easy and the people who love you will still love you, and the people who don’t can go fuck themselves.

Enjoy and see you tomorrow.