Joke's on them

With the Epstein Files, for once MAGA's not in on the gag

I confess, when I first saw the stories about the Epstein Revival — that is, MAGA folks getting mad at the sudden disappearance of The Epstein Files — I was skeptical. Between optimistic takes like Michael Tomasky’s — “Will the Epstein Story Hurt Trump in MAGA-Land? Wake Up — It Already Has,” and pessimistic takes like David Rothkopf’s — “He was re-elected president after leading a coup! But sure, Epstein. Yeah, that’s what’ll get him” – I inclined toward the latter.

That’s because I am cynical – well, in general, but also and particularly about any political shiny object that people think will make a difference with voters. Voters are forgetful under the best of circumstances and, in the Nazi speedrun we’re currently living through, all else being equal, you could count on some new outrage bumping this out of their heads within the week.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t enjoyable, and I do begin to think it may still be a net loss for the Forces of Darkness.

For one thing, it’s funny. First we had AG Pam Bondi’s sudden announcement that the Epstein Files, which she had officially claimed to possess and alleged copies of which she gave her lackeys to proudly wave for the cameras, did not, in fact, even exist.

Trump fans began to holler they’d been betrayed. Then dozens of Republican bigwigs who had bellowed about the Epstein Files to help Tubby rile the rubes during the 2024 election either went silent, made up crazy reasons why the Epstein Files, if they did exist, must never see the light of day, or, if they were in Congress, voted to block their release.

We had Trump screaming for everyone to shut up about the Epstein Files, saying it was actually Obama, Biden, and James Comey who created them, and finally undercutting his own AG by suggesting there were some kind of Epstein Files after all (perhaps while his crack team of forgers worked feverishly to create convincing images of George Soros in a kid cuddle puddle).

Comedy gold, Jerry! And part of the reason it’s funny is, for once, Republicans have been forced into the role of Margaret Dumont — the straight woman, as it were.

That hasn’t happened with the many more serious administration scandals before this. Take the “Alligator Alcatraz” thing; when decent people pointed out that not only the concentration camp itself but the cutesy-vicious publicity for it was disgusting, Trumpkins just churned more AI slop about how funny it was and had their gomers posing with the road sign. When Trump let Musk destroy several government agencies — causing real harm to human beings including potentially millions of deaths overseas — that, too, was a laugh: You got DOGEd! Look, here’s Elon with a chainsaw!

This sort of nihilism is part of the particular power of MAGA: They don’t have any conception of right or wrong and they get a kick out of seeing the unfortunate suffer so long as it isn’t them. And when they’re in power, it never is them, so everything is funny, in a sociopathic way.

But the Epstein Revival deprives them of this role. I suppose Trump and his goons could have tried to wink their way through it like they do with everything else, and suggest to MAGA fans that pretending there were Epstein Files in the first place was just an ingenious way of owning the libs.

But in this instance, it wasn’t the libs who got owned — it was MAGA. And if there’s one thing MAGA can’t laugh at, it’s themselves.

Hence not only the outrage, but also the infighting among multiple prominent conservatives who don’t know what side to take in the controversy. (This is another legacy of the MAGA ethos: What The Leader says is the truth, but The Leader now seems to be wobbling about what the truth is and may reverse course entirely, so public figures like Laura Loomer and Steve Bannon have to pick a side and hope The Leader’s fancy lights on the one they picked.)

It’s stressed, contentious, insecure — a far cry from the confident nihilism that sustains the movement.

And that reminds me of one grand irony of the situation: The whole Epstein Files mania was originally fed by QAnon and millions of rightwing loons who were convinced that liberals ran child trafficking rings and that was why they needed Trump to root them out. One might expect their reaction to this huge betrayal to be informed by concern for the underage slaves, past and present, whose welfare was their professed cause. But you barely hear them say anything about that now. That’s because it’s really all about themselves and their bottomless vanity — and for most of them it always was.

Conservatives are so locked into the ridiculous straight-man role than even the usually maladroit Democrats are stunting on them left and right. I particularly like this Georgia Congressman’s little number:

Republicans are pushing their house media and the Prestige Press (but I repeat myself!) to focus on the Great Scandal of Biden’s Autopen instead. Seems weak to me, but who knows, maybe that’ll eventually nudge things along and, whether they kill Ghislaine Maxwell before or after her testimony, maybe the afterburn of the Epstein Revival will be slight among the faithful (the independents are pretty well turned off by Trump already). But in the meantime, in between time, ain’t we got fun. Ride that pony till it’s lame!