Meeting cut short

Another Oval Office scene

© 2006 Chuck Patch used under a Creative Commons license

The documents, provided by Mr. [Lev] Parnas, contain a series of exchanges between him and a Ukrainian prosecutor, Yuriy Lutsenko, who was helping Mr. Giuliani unearth damaging information about the Bidens…

“It’s just that if you don’t make a decision about Madam — you are bringing into question all my allegations. Including about B,” [Lutsenko] wrote to Mr. Parnas, in apparent references to [Ambassador] Yovanovitch and Mr. Biden. 

Mr. Lutsenko added: “And here you can’t even get rid of one [female] fool,” an apparent reference to Ms. Yovanovitch. He also inserted a frowning emoji. 

“She’s not a simple fool[,] trust me,” Mr. Parnas responded. “But she’s not getting away.” The president, with Mr. Giuliani’s encouragement, recalled Ms. Yovanovitch from her post in late April. — New York Times

[The Oval Office. TRUMP is at his desk. MICK MULVANEY stands beside him. Before them are two guys who look like the thugs hired by Arno in Uncut Gems. TRUMP is a little more zombie-ish, MULVANEY is quieter but steelier than in previous episodes.]

MULVANEY: [Staring at the men] And this is?

TRUMP: That’s Kosich on the right, and Brejislaus on the left.

KOSICH: How you do.

MULVANEY: [Ignoring him] And why are they in the Oval Office.

TRUMP: I was going to meet them at Mar-a-lago like usual, but the place is full of spies.

MULVANEY: And the White House is not.

TRUMP: I see what you’re getting at, Mick, but what am I gonna do, just let things go to shit? We gotta do something.

MULVANEY: What’s your idea.

TRUMP: Kosich, tell the gentleman your plan.

KOSICH: I go see Senators, the ones you not so sure is do the right thing. I let them know I have map of house, know when they home —

MULVANEY: [To KOSICH] Stop. [To TRUMP] I strongly advise you send these men away immediately.

TRUMP: Got the idea, huh?

MULVANEY: I didn’t hear anything, I have an infection of the inner ear.

TRUMP: Yeah?

MULVANEY: It comes and goes.

TRUMP: [To KOSICH and BREJISLAUS] Okay, boys, see you at the luau. My best to Gonniff and Big Vlad.

[The men start to saunter off.]

KOSICH: [Pointing at TRUMP from the door] Tovarich. You don’ double-cross, hah?

TRUMP: Love you guys, bye.

[The men leave. Pause. MULVANEY looks at TRUMP, points at the door.]

MULVANEY: Nobody like that. Nobody whose head is more than 25 percent scar tissue. Nobody with teardrop tattoos. Nobody like that comes in here again. Understand?

TRUMP: You know, if I wasn’t on this new stuff from Bornstein, I’d be awful mad at you. I can’t feel my legs. Touch my face. It’s like Silly Putty.

MULVANEY: I’m serious. You bring that garbage into the White House again, I’ll throw them out.

TRUMP: They’re pretty tough cookies.

MULVANEY: I’ll call Secret Service.

TRUMP: And I’ll tell them it’s okay. Who’re they gonna listen to?

[MULVANEY holds TRUMP’s gaze and touches a button on the desk.]

That’s my button. You don’t touch my button.

[MULVANEY just stares at him.]

Maybe it’s the drugs but you look like that guy from Two and a Half Men. The doofus. Anyone ever tell you that?

[A couple of SECRET SERVICEMEN enter, wearing sunglasses and suits, calm but alert.]

MULVANEY: [Leaning in on TRUMP, whispering] Tell them to shoot me.

[MULVANEY straightens up. Pause. TRUMP and MULVANEY look at the SECRET SERVICEMEN.]

TRUMP: [Seriously] Shoot him.

[Pause. The SECRET SERVICEMEN just stand there.]

Shoot this fucker. Beat the shit out of him. Break his skull, his legs. Kill him.

[The SECRET SERVICEMEN just stand there. Then they turn and leave. MULVANEY leans in on TRUMP.]

MULVANEY: In their report, they’re gonna say you asked for a Diet Coke, but you changed your mind.

[MULVANEY walks around the desk and heads for the door.]

TRUMP: You wait till my second term.

MULVANEY: [Not looking back] You’re in overtime already, sir.

[MULVANEY leaves. CURTAIN.]