"Banshee wails over the sound of an overdriven cement mixer."
God, I could listen to a loop of that forever.
So a few months ago, I was doing an MRI. This place offered headphones and music piped in. Now, as a rule I enjoy MRIs because they put me to sleep. I find them restful with 45-odd minutes being too short.
But as I said, a choice of genres was offered. So I went with punk, of course. And the shit quality of the headphones notwithstanding (or is that despite it?), there was a track for which the MRI machine's racket was appropriate accompaniment.
"And you know that decision would have to go across my desk, and it’s awfully strange to make a decision where I’m paying myself. In other words, did you ever have one of those cases where you have to decide how much you’re paying yourself in damages? But I was damaged very greatly..."
Ah, I was about to say something. Then I realized it'd be too obvious...
Just a partial tear with a wrinkle: there’s a tiny flap that causes a great deal of pain when it shifts, which is very rare. PT’s helping. Surgery’s possible but far from necessary. Besides, I still have PTSD from a minor surgery last summer so, yeah, no, not interested, not needed at this point.
I had one last week. I was on a moving bed snd went back and forth periodically while the machine beeped and bumped rhythmically. I told the nurse afterward that it was the worst midway ride ever and the music was crap. But I had a good outcome!
when i got to "precious," i knew there would be "bodily fluids." But big surprise, Jeff Bezos's bodily fluids!
i've known, the BIG enigma of that big BIG amazon logo. Sorry i mentioned it, but it's true, Bezos knows, "There may be more to life than having everything." Or was that trump?
I have to say I've been...I don't think "impressed" is the right word for someone I hold in such contempt, but *surprised* by Johnson. He initially struck me as a bit of a bland if weird nonentity, as he would be in any other political moment. But his ability to carry water for this administration and maintain a level of blasé smarm heretofore unseen by science has been pretty remarkable.
Johnson: "yes, the President has dropped a nuclear warhead on the city of Chicago, replaced the Lincoln Memorial with a statue of himself, and has instituted a "matching" program where every new dollar printed is matched by depositing a dollar into his private bank account. But you have to realize the Democrat party would criticize this President no matter what he does, and they also support trans rights."
"You say there's only a black smoldering pit where Chicago used to be and millions of Americans are dead? This is the first I'm hearing of it, so I couldn't comment at this time."
"Well, the President uses the internet to communicate, and some say he's the best ever at doing that, and sometimes he uses satire."
As far as I can remember, that's an exact quote. But I don't want to go back and check because every time I hear Johnson speak, first I start to feel dizzy, then my head hits the desk and I wake up a half hour later in a puddle of my own drool.
"... poses a dilemma for American journalists who wish to inform their readers but also don’t want to be sued by the litigious President or have their precious access to government sources shut off."
Yup. Severe media failure in the US for years now.
"... Democrats, who are by definition the opposite of hard-working Americans."
Deplorable!
I dunno, man, there's an old joke in Canada: When the US sneezes, Canada catches a cold. Canadians can probably take it in stride, but the (literally!) rest of the world?
BTW, is it my imagination, or did Bolt suddenly become a "face" (not a "heel" or neutral)?
My local Spectrum News, with Sachelle Reed as the morning anchor (I like her, she's generally OK) had an interview with their Washington correspondent about the tearing-down, and Sachelle says, "Well, I think of people like historians, or even just regular people who have fond memories of the White House, and they must be feeling pretty strongly about this, but I guess if you've got the money you can do whatever you want!" [imagine this delivered in a perky morning-anchor voice for full effect]
And that's where they ended it, on "if you've got the money you can do whatever you want!" A lesson for any kids watching.
"Banshee wails over the sound of an overdriven cement mixer."
God, I could listen to a loop of that forever.
So a few months ago, I was doing an MRI. This place offered headphones and music piped in. Now, as a rule I enjoy MRIs because they put me to sleep. I find them restful with 45-odd minutes being too short.
But as I said, a choice of genres was offered. So I went with punk, of course. And the shit quality of the headphones notwithstanding (or is that despite it?), there was a track for which the MRI machine's racket was appropriate accompaniment.
"And you know that decision would have to go across my desk, and it’s awfully strange to make a decision where I’m paying myself. In other words, did you ever have one of those cases where you have to decide how much you’re paying yourself in damages? But I was damaged very greatly..."
Ah, I was about to say something. Then I realized it'd be too obvious...
I love MRI machines. One of the few places I feel sufficiently alone. Hope whatever the reason was turns out ok.
Partial meniscal tear. Is nothing. Thanks for asking.
I've had those! A nuisance. They can shave them. Then, the long slow march to knee replacement. Hopefully very slow.
Just a partial tear with a wrinkle: there’s a tiny flap that causes a great deal of pain when it shifts, which is very rare. PT’s helping. Surgery’s possible but far from necessary. Besides, I still have PTSD from a minor surgery last summer so, yeah, no, not interested, not needed at this point.
I've never heard that before. That's such a universal " Oh, those fucking things. "
You need a sensory deprivation tank. I knew someone that had one and loved it. He and his family swore changed his life for the better.
Floating in salt water, thingy? Got those just down the road from me here in little Z'ville, Ohio.
Yup !
I remember his wife saying she just wanted a hot tub .
Altered States!
I had one last week. I was on a moving bed snd went back and forth periodically while the machine beeped and bumped rhythmically. I told the nurse afterward that it was the worst midway ride ever and the music was crap. But I had a good outcome!
I haven't even read this yet but I can't wait to upvote the hell out of "embezzlementarianism"
Johnson bulldozes the House as Trump bulldozes the White House and the media bulldozes the nation. Trifecta!
...and over at the S'preme Courthouse, the proprietor hangs a sign reading "We gave at the office".
Bulldozers 'n' bullshit!
Top Dung 2 – This Time it's CHUNKY!
Or maybe just a redo of Demolition, Man...
"-sudoku or internet pornography?"
You can do both at once - while listening to the trance music score to Cabaret.
I prefer the trance music score to " "The Most Happy Fella"
Loesser was the bomb!
Standing on a Corner would make a cool jam.
Yoicks! Frightening how true this is...
“He JOHNSON” worst Masters of the Universe reboot ever. (In before Roy fixes the typo!)
As Harry Dean Stanton said, more shit I gotta do. Thanks!
Mike Johnson is a shady home renovation salesman’s idea of a politician.
with a bit of christian dominionism on the side
Combs through the obituaries, shows up at the widow's door with a $25 personalized bible he says her husband ordered for her [gold tooth flashes]
Hearted for the tooth
Widders go crazy for a sharp-dressed man
But 50% less credible.
when i got to "precious," i knew there would be "bodily fluids." But big surprise, Jeff Bezos's bodily fluids!
i've known, the BIG enigma of that big BIG amazon logo. Sorry i mentioned it, but it's true, Bezos knows, "There may be more to life than having everything." Or was that trump?
I have to say I've been...I don't think "impressed" is the right word for someone I hold in such contempt, but *surprised* by Johnson. He initially struck me as a bit of a bland if weird nonentity, as he would be in any other political moment. But his ability to carry water for this administration and maintain a level of blasé smarm heretofore unseen by science has been pretty remarkable.
Can't wait for the day Johnson buys the s̶m̶a̶r̶m̶ farm.
Johnson: "yes, the President has dropped a nuclear warhead on the city of Chicago, replaced the Lincoln Memorial with a statue of himself, and has instituted a "matching" program where every new dollar printed is matched by depositing a dollar into his private bank account. But you have to realize the Democrat party would criticize this President no matter what he does, and they also support trans rights."
Sure, but only on the rare occasion he's not saying "I haven't heard anything about that, I can't comment."
"You say there's only a black smoldering pit where Chicago used to be and millions of Americans are dead? This is the first I'm hearing of it, so I couldn't comment at this time."
If Mamdani wins, I wonder how many establishment Dems will be unavailable for comment.
"Establishment Dems... unavailable for comment" on the win? Sounds like a good option for us.
"Well, the President uses the internet to communicate, and some say he's the best ever at doing that, and sometimes he uses satire."
As far as I can remember, that's an exact quote. But I don't want to go back and check because every time I hear Johnson speak, first I start to feel dizzy, then my head hits the desk and I wake up a half hour later in a puddle of my own drool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilcRS5eUpwk
I just wanna know how you discerned the drool is yours alone.
"He choked to death on vomit, and it wasn't even his own vomit"
"... poses a dilemma for American journalists who wish to inform their readers but also don’t want to be sued by the litigious President or have their precious access to government sources shut off."
Yup. Severe media failure in the US for years now.
"... Democrats, who are by definition the opposite of hard-working Americans."
Deplorable!
I dunno, man, there's an old joke in Canada: When the US sneezes, Canada catches a cold. Canadians can probably take it in stride, but the (literally!) rest of the world?
BTW, is it my imagination, or did Bolt suddenly become a "face" (not a "heel" or neutral)?
I seem to remember Bolt finally getting fed up with Trump's shit (airborne or otherwise) a couple of months ago.
It's all too grim if everyone's an asshole.
Indeed, 2025 got Bolt breaking character.
Though when today's episode opened, Bolt was sure the lead-lined cocaine and prostitute pit was adequate for containing Bezos.
It's worked before! Chalk it up to hubris.
You have indeed noticed a change but like Bezos said, no one is watching.
My local Spectrum News, with Sachelle Reed as the morning anchor (I like her, she's generally OK) had an interview with their Washington correspondent about the tearing-down, and Sachelle says, "Well, I think of people like historians, or even just regular people who have fond memories of the White House, and they must be feeling pretty strongly about this, but I guess if you've got the money you can do whatever you want!" [imagine this delivered in a perky morning-anchor voice for full effect]
And that's where they ended it, on "if you've got the money you can do whatever you want!" A lesson for any kids watching.
Oh, how I fucking hate local news.
Gotta try Spectrum!
Maybe depends on where you live...
With the big guy coming onto RO’s set, it seems changes are in store for the show. Will Bolt be screwed?
Unbolted, with Bolt Upright. Podcast coming January 4th.
Not a bad idea!
1639 England: "Ship money", forced loans to support a monarch's lifestyle
2025 America: un-sequestered funds, foreign bribes to support a monarch's lifestyle
Whoa, watch it with that "monarch" talk, I've been told that's EXTREMELY irresponsible. Besides, it's not true. No Habsburg Jaw, just Hamburg Hands.
Shit money!
The veil between reality and hallucinogenic fiction has descended upon us like Stephen King’s “The Mist.”
I’m not sure what I meant by that. Then again, I’m not very sure about reality these days.
Forget it, Snarki. It's a simile.
Just posted this above. But with all norms overthrown, what's a little double post? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilcRS5eUpwk
Can't have too much Will Ferrell, although it could use more cowbell.
“the transgender hegemony”
Those bastards and their evil plot to, you know, exist and stuff.
The ghost of S.J. Perelman smiles from Valhalla.
Most kind of you, thanks!
This reminded me more of him than anything I usually see on my phone.😄
I read Perleman as a teenager, and I'm sure I would have remembered the cock rings.
He endured more censorship than we do today.
Poor Bolt! All he wants is a debate on antidisestablishembezzlementarianism!? But he gets stuck with Squeaker Johnson and Bug-eyed Bezos instead…
"Bug-Eyed Bezos!" could give "Three-Handed Mother of God!" a run for her money. I'll give it a try next time I hit my thumb with a hammer.
Wasn't "Bug-eyed Bezos" a minor Marvel supervillain?
A sidekick, at best.
Iron Eyes Upright.