NEW VILLAGE VOICE COLUMN... DELAYED!

There's a problem with Movable Type, so I can't get in to publish, so the column goes up tomorrow. What an interesting experiment in publishing a regular column in an unaccustomed time/date slot with no prior warning!

Anyway, to pass the time of day here's a little something from the culture war desk, from Adam Bellow -- yes, I thought he was doing alright too; not only does he have his dad's name and money and a related career in publishing, he's also got a stake in Liberty Island, the wingnut welfare arts site covered here a few times. Sounds cushy, but every so often I guess he still has to rattle the tin cup. Here he is at National Review:

We need to invest in the conservative right brain. A well-developed feeder system exists to identify and promote mainstream fiction writers, including MFA programs, residencies and fellowships, writers’ colonies, grants and prizes, little magazines, small presses, and a network of established writers and critics. Nothing like that exists on the right. 

This is a major oversight that must be urgently addressed. We need our own writing programs, fellowships, prizes, and so forth. We need to build a feeder system so that the cream can rise to the top, and also to make an end run around the gatekeepers of the liberal establishment.

Ca-chunk! Ca-chunk! The clot of coins bangs inside the can. Keep a brave front, Adam; Richard Mellon Scaife is dead, we have to hustle.

Conservative leaders are more concerned with raising money for political campaigns than supporting the new cultural creators.

It's a point he can sell: Even the rubes are catching on that the big outfits to which they've been entrusting their donations are not delivering bang for buck. But no one knows what will: You can't trust those tea party guys, either.  So maybe put money in conservative art? Their pig eyes narrow: Do I have to dress up for galas? It is abstract, or done by fags? It would take too long to explain, so he goes straight for the Iron Curtain -- you boys remember that! The fellas who invested in samizdat, they really cleaned up, morally speaking! You don't want to miss this opportunity to take down Commissar Obama:

Today’s conservative fiction writers are not in danger of having their fingers hammered in a labor camp. But their self-publishing efforts do represent a modern analogue to the dissident samizdat movement, and they are deploying the same weapons in defense of your freedom of conscience. Can we really afford to ignore them?

They're grabbing their coats! Quick, wheel out the big gun:

I know what Andrew Breitbart would say if he were here:

Okay, some of them are staying -- maybe they're passed out, or just wondering if you have any coke, but they're here, so they're half-in: Now all you have to do is establish the connection between that wad of cash their financial manager advised them to throw down a sinkhole (as long as the papers are in order) and that country they love so well:

What good will it do to write a novel? May as well ask what good it did to show the revolutionary flag at Bunker Hill (a battle we lost, by the way).

One good thing about this racket: If they do go for it, you don't have to worry about them coming to their senses later.

UPDATE. At the Washington Post, Alyssa Rosenberg tries to be helpful, suggesting that if conservative novelists would just use their "aesthetic powers" they might get somewhere. I imagine Bellow, tipped to the presence of upscale attention, checking his cup for folding money. Look, lady, when a beggar asks for money don't give him a lecture!

UPDATE 2. Making everything worse as usual, Jonah Goldberg tells us the liberals who run Hollywood actually make lots of conservative entertainments because that's what sells ("Most Hollywood liberals probably oppose the death penalty, yet they make lots of movies where the bad guy meets a grisly death to the cheers of the audience"). A sane person might ask: if Liberal Hollywood is making the bloodthirsty entertainments conservatives like, what is Goldberg bitching about? See Bellow, Adam: They may fantasize about being treated with the respect due an artist, but what they really want is their names above the titles and (especially) on the checks. All the rest, as someone once said, is propaganda.