Remarks by President Trump on Critical Race Whatchamacallit That We’re Getting Rid Of Pronto

From Whitehouse.gov, where they don't care anymore

In a letter to federal agencies Friday, the director of the Office of Management and Budget said the president recently became aware of the racial sensitivity programs, which encourage frank conversations about race in the workplace and discuss potential actions to combat systemic racism.

The memo, issued by OMB Director Russell Vought, reads in part:

“All agencies are directed to begin to identify all contracts or other agency spending related to any training on ‘critical race theory,’ ‘white privilege,’ or any other training or propaganda effort that teaches or suggests either (1) that the United States is an inherently racist or evil country or (2) that any race or ethnicity is inherently racist or evil.”

The memo said agencies “should begin to identify all available avenues within the law to cancel any such contracts and/or to divert Federal dollars away from these un-American propaganda training sessions.” — NPR

State Dining Room

4:18 P.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT: So like you heard we’re gonna get rid of a lot of this disgusting un-American garbage they teach our kids in school to make America look like we’re racist. This is gonna take a long time to fix because the teachers are all communists but Stephen Miller worked with me to spot the big ones we have to get rid of for starters. So if you see these books in your kids’ room you should get rid of them and also tell Homeland Security about the teacher or librarian who gave them the book and maybe ICE because they’re probably foreigners too, who knows.

First, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. This came as a big shock to me because I remember seeing movies with Huck Finn, I guess they made them before this disgusting book version, where he was just a happy go lucky kid with freckles and him and his friend Tom Sawyer would paint houses and get into mischief, you know, innocent mischief like kids do.

But the new thing they tell me is, when they do the novelizize-ization for these movies, they stick in disgusting things like that the white people were racist, even kindly old Aunt Sally, which is absolutely ridiculous, she’s so good and nice like an aunt. Huck has a friend called Black Joe or something who’s pretty good but they do this thing in the book they probably think is clever where they act like if white people find Joe they’ll kill him. And they make it like Huck thinks this too, which is how they get the kids with their propergeranda, because they know kids look up to Huck and will want to be Antifa like him.

Also they make Huck’s father out to be like some kind of drug addict who beats him and a lot of disgusting things. They make everything look bad except the black person, so it’s not too subtle. Stephen calls this very degenerate art and I’m inclined to agree about this. So let your kids see the movie but throw this book right in the trash.

OK, Light in August by William Faulkner. Stephen showed me a few of these books by this Faulkner and I gotta tell ya, I got the highest grades in a very elite school, much better than what the ones they say are elite could do, but these books I couldn’t make head or tail of, they were so mixed up and rotten. But this August one takes the cake, they got a guy who doesn't know if he’s black or white and, just like in that Huck Finn book, they act like if you’re black or African-American I should say, everybody wants to kill you and cut you up. And near the end this guy everyone thinks is black, what they do to him is so disgusting I had to take a shower after I read it, which is rare for me because you know I don’t perspire like other people, it’s a gift from God maybe, but I felt the need because this was so sick. By the way about this lynching thing, you know they used to lynch white people too. It’s true. There was this guy, I forget his name, he was Jewish, and they killed a lot of Jews. Not that America was anti-Semitistic any more than racist, but people got confused. In fact I think they killed this man for something a black person did. So you never know. True story.

OK, this is a big one: Any novel by any black writer. Now I know people are going to say, just like they always do, that this is quote unquote racist, but let’s face it, you read these books and, not that they aren’t artistic and sound nice when you read them out loud, but the white people are always bad and racist and also they don’t get enough to do. It’s just the black people going on and on and on about being black and the white guy comes in and he’s a creep. And I could name all those books, and there are hundreds, but you know what, better safe than sorry so we’re just getting rid of all of them. Maybe there’s a book somewhere where the black people give the white guy a break, and you can bring it to me and show me, I would love to be proved wrong. Like that movie Green Book, that was fantastic and maybe the book is too, if they didn’t do to it like they did to Huck Finn. But until then it’s out of the question.

Now if your teachers or whoever get upset and say that this puts a big hole in their ciccuriculum, we also have a list of books that are good to take their place. Stephen tells me there is a very good book, excellent actually, about George Washington, our first president, by a man named Weems something, I had it on the tip of my tongue but he was a parson, I believe, like in Winter Wonderland so you know it’s got to be good. And Betsy DeVos has got people writing new ones that you don’t have to worry about that.

I'm gonna let Kayleigh handle your questions because I have to attend a national security meeting, but in a couple of days we’ll have another press conference about this other terrible thing which is going on called cancel culture.