Southern Strategy

The Boss talks to the Contender

[The Throne Room at Mar-a-Lago. Sitting on the supplicant’s bench are DONALD TRUMP in his Jackie Gleason/Miami Beach outfit, and HERSCHEL WALKER in a Peter Christian Men’s Bracken Brown Harris Tweed Three-Piece Suit. A FLUNKY sits in the driver’s seat of a golf cart nearby and reads the Hollywood Reporter.]

TRUMP: You’re handling it perfect. My people keep telling me, Walker’s a dum-dum, he’s got brain damage so bad, but I wouldn’t do anything different. You came out swinging. Not literally, that’d scare people, which you don’t want to do. Maybe at the debate. You’re still gonna have the debate?

WALKER: Trahn to avoid it, Mistah President.

TRUMP: No, you gotta do it. See, that’s how I won last time.

WALKER: Yeah, but Warnock, see, he a preachah. He gawna try an’ mess me all up with —

TRUMP: Listen to me. Listen to me. That guy, he looks like some kind of nerd. People don’t like that. He’s like the Nutty Professor, not the Eddie Murphy one, that was terrific, but the one with Jerry Lewis, you’re too young, but like him except black. So look, you got the nerd on one side and you got the football hero on the other, it’s just classic.