First of all, judging by photo one above, I have never seen a kid who looked LESS like he merited the nickname Big Balls. That is a kid who was shoved into many a locker. Are we sure it's not an ironic moniker, like how they call guys who are 6'5" Tiny?
Second, I love how this story has devolved from BB being in intensive care with his survival in question because he was beaten to a pulp by 15 Crips while defending a damsel in distress, and it turns out he was actually bitch slapped by a pair of teenagers who weren't armed. Perfect.
I would not be even slightly surprised to discover that Big Balls made some snide remarks to the two kids passing by in an effort to impress his girlfriend, only to have the kids turn around and smack him for being an asshole.
"effort to impress his girlfriend" sounds right, takin' her on an expedition to deepest, darkest DC like he's Stanley looking for the source of the Nile.
There was speculation on Wonkette that he might have been getting aggressive with his girlfriend, and the guys tried to stop him. Which I'm entirely fine with believing.
I still wonder what this tool was doing outside with his girlfriend at 3 in the morning in upper NW DC. I know that part of town; no legitimate business is open at that hour; any normal couple would have be home at that point to f&*k or sleep, so what the hell were they doing? Scoring drugs comes to mind. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
I know I do not exactly have my finger on the pulse of whatever culture 19YO Muskian dipshits live in, but I don’t think slumming is part of it. I’m going with MM’s drug buy hypothesis.
Thing the First: one (1) 15 year old boy, and one (t'other) 15 year old girl, were arrested. They are reported to live in Maryland. Yeah. So instead of federalizing DC, the Alligator Imposter should be taking over that hotbed of foment Maryland.
Thing Twoth: Swann is the funnel street cops used to bottleneck demonstrators back in the g̴r̴e̴a̴t̴ ̴m̴a̴s̴s̴ ̴m̴u̴r̴d̴e̴r̴ bog standard demonstration in 2020. Hotbed of social...uhmm...interest...
People who buy drugs off the street (as opposed to from a connection) are either very stupid neophytes or desperate addicts. He is no doubt the former. I conclude that in an objectively degenerate movement (MAGA) he has no standing. SMH.
Yeah, no, you buy your illegal drugs by parking outside someone's house the idiot you drove there directed you to at 3 in the morning when you were ostensibly driving her home, and you sit there in the dark with Jack and Shit to do for a half hour expecting the worst while other cars park behind you to wait, then everyone has to flee because the drunken frat boys in the SUV backed into the car behind them and decided to argue about it.
Before I quit cannabis, I relied entirely on dispensaries from 2003 onward — which didn't exist in Wisconsin or Iowa, so I went without for seven years. That should tell you how little I liked buying illegally.
Ahh yes, but you lived in a civilized state. Here in Arkansas you can't get medical without being a final stage hospice-bound cancer patient. Now I qualify three different ways (nausea, neuropathic pain, eye pressure) but my fine Christian doctors want me to suffer, like Jebus and sadistic bitch Mother Theresa intended.
I completely agree with your supposition of BB making a drug buy. Also offer a supposition of my own: he's so cocky that he thinks he can pull that off out on the street at 3AM.
"TRUMP: Hey, Elon, tell him I said not to worry, he’ll be all healed up the next day. Get it? Elon! Hey!
MUSK: Yes, that’s a good joke, sir, ha ha!"
Yes, haha for the entire post.
Gotta admit, me being me as well as not paying enough attention to this horrible crime to be clear and just what happened, it never struck me that this could be a false flag thing; only from the great mind of the Maestro. I'm expecting a false flag for the 2026 election, maaayybee, probably for 2028. But this vicious attack on Big Balls*? Nope. (*Like Donny's claim in the 2016 debate of reasonably well endowed, all it takes to prove is a dropping of the drawers to prove. Or, alternatively STFU. And in BB's case, size becomes irrelevant if they're attached to a pathological, insane piece of trump.)
"TRUMP: How’d’ya like that? Sick, evil people. You can’t blame ‘em, he’s a creepy little shit."
Probably the most palatable use of zucchini. It's hard for summer squash to be unappealing, but that one manages.
Too bad I can't hand you the oversized Costata Romanesco I spotted this morning. The garden plot got jungley, and this squash escaped my notice until much bigger than desirable. It's a variety of zucchini, but with a good flavor and no bitter edge. (Also forms attractive shapes when sliced.)
I'll unload it on some neighbor, but it would make a great big mess of ratatouille.
We do recipes here? Recipe Thursday, is that a thing? Anyway, half-peel (so you're left with stripes) then halve lengthwise, scoop out all the seeds and dice what's left. Stir fry in hot oil with garlic, when it starts to turn translucent take it out of the pan and set it aside. At the end, throw on top of everything else just before serving. Most people overcook zucchini and then blame the victim.
General rule for cooking any vegetable is "Water is the enemy of flavor." Vegetables are just full of water, you want get as much out as possible to concentrate what's left. So stir-fry is best, or if you're braising or steaming it should be in whatever juices develop, never add water.
Also, with ratatouille, I really try not to notice how much olive oil I'm glug-glugging into the pan. I wouldn't be surprised if dinner was just an excuse to drink a full cup of olive oil. And isn't that really what eggplant are for? The next best thing to shooting EVOO directly into your veins?
Peeling and seeding may get out bitterness. I fell for Romanesco after trying a couple of giveaway seeds last year. It has a sweet flavor throughout, and I haven't found it to need extra prep.
Definitely, stir-fry or saute is the best easy way to go, though grilled also would be good. I cook it in olive oil, pretty much for adding to pasta, nothing fancy. I'm too unambitious for blossom fritters.
This is where my newfound knowledge (and status as squash bore) comes in. Female flowers turn into fruit (you can see the shapes forming below those blossoms). Flowers on stalks that don't change are male. If it seems like male flowers have been doing their first sacred purpose, some of them can go on to the next.
15 yo boy and girl? This story gets more and more weird, which I guess is what we should expect from anything adjacent to this administration. Anyway, I think Rubio is more actively invested in the fascism that this nearly catatonic version implies. He might be keeping a low profile because he’s Hispanic, but I bet he relishes all the power he’s been granted, just like more outspoken assholes like Hegseth and Homan. Lastly, regarding Musk, may I recommend the writing of Will Lockett and the video of CityNerd respectively destroying the iconography of Tesla, SpaceX and the Boring Company? What a fucking fraud.
Meanwhile, I hear ICE can’t hire because nobody wants to be associated with that toxin. They’re reportedly offering to pay off $50thou of student debt, dropped the age limits, and are press-ganging FEMA hires.
Eventually everyone in the country will be drafted into ICE but there will be no one to deport because ICE hires are exempt.
Loving the idea of seniors who can't afford to retire but refuse to be Wal-Mart greeters gettin' with the camo and bullet-proof fash fashion and hitting the streets, only to need frequent sit-down breaks and bathroom stops. Elite fighting force taking on M13, perhaps lulling them into submission by reading them stories, Grammy-style.
“We can’t bust heads anymore, but we still have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I went over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, …”
"...this incredible young man"...with the biggest balls you've ever seen, amazingly big, never seen anything like them, so big that Arnold Palmer's dick would look small by comparison...
MUSK: [Audible moue]
Works for me.
I think we are slipsliding into muskmelon republic status.
Had so much plastic surgery his face creaks when it moves.
First of all, judging by photo one above, I have never seen a kid who looked LESS like he merited the nickname Big Balls. That is a kid who was shoved into many a locker. Are we sure it's not an ironic moniker, like how they call guys who are 6'5" Tiny?
Second, I love how this story has devolved from BB being in intensive care with his survival in question because he was beaten to a pulp by 15 Crips while defending a damsel in distress, and it turns out he was actually bitch slapped by a pair of teenagers who weren't armed. Perfect.
I would not be even slightly surprised to discover that Big Balls made some snide remarks to the two kids passing by in an effort to impress his girlfriend, only to have the kids turn around and smack him for being an asshole.
"effort to impress his girlfriend" sounds right, takin' her on an expedition to deepest, darkest DC like he's Stanley looking for the source of the Nile.
There was speculation on Wonkette that he might have been getting aggressive with his girlfriend, and the guys tried to stop him. Which I'm entirely fine with believing.
Well, Big Balls has been the cover boy for Punchable Face magazine many times, so whad'ya expect?
I still wonder what this tool was doing outside with his girlfriend at 3 in the morning in upper NW DC. I know that part of town; no legitimate business is open at that hour; any normal couple would have be home at that point to f&*k or sleep, so what the hell were they doing? Scoring drugs comes to mind. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
I'll back you on that dope shopping thing.
Could just be regular ol' slumming.
Nah, he don't go to Harlem in ermine and pearls
Yeah, no.
I know I do not exactly have my finger on the pulse of whatever culture 19YO Muskian dipshits live in, but I don’t think slumming is part of it. I’m going with MM’s drug buy hypothesis.
2 things:
Thing the First: one (1) 15 year old boy, and one (t'other) 15 year old girl, were arrested. They are reported to live in Maryland. Yeah. So instead of federalizing DC, the Alligator Imposter should be taking over that hotbed of foment Maryland.
Thing Twoth: Swann is the funnel street cops used to bottleneck demonstrators back in the g̴r̴e̴a̴t̴ ̴m̴a̴s̴s̴ ̴m̴u̴r̴d̴e̴r̴ bog standard demonstration in 2020. Hotbed of social...uhmm...interest...
Big Balls was beat up by a GIRL?
A GIR-UL!
#mst3k
Girl you know it's true
This comment is both Fab and Rob!
People who buy drugs off the street (as opposed to from a connection) are either very stupid neophytes or desperate addicts. He is no doubt the former. I conclude that in an objectively degenerate movement (MAGA) he has no standing. SMH.
Yeah, no, you buy your illegal drugs by parking outside someone's house the idiot you drove there directed you to at 3 in the morning when you were ostensibly driving her home, and you sit there in the dark with Jack and Shit to do for a half hour expecting the worst while other cars park behind you to wait, then everyone has to flee because the drunken frat boys in the SUV backed into the car behind them and decided to argue about it.
Not that that's autobiographical or anything. 🤬
Which reminds me: don't buy drugs at all.
...except from a reliable trusted source, like I do, er, um, one does.
Before I quit cannabis, I relied entirely on dispensaries from 2003 onward — which didn't exist in Wisconsin or Iowa, so I went without for seven years. That should tell you how little I liked buying illegally.
Ahh yes, but you lived in a civilized state. Here in Arkansas you can't get medical without being a final stage hospice-bound cancer patient. Now I qualify three different ways (nausea, neuropathic pain, eye pressure) but my fine Christian doctors want me to suffer, like Jebus and sadistic bitch Mother Theresa intended.
I know you, bro!!
Buying parking lot oxys, like Limbaugh used to do
I completely agree with your supposition of BB making a drug buy. Also offer a supposition of my own: he's so cocky that he thinks he can pull that off out on the street at 3AM.
Anyway, him getting a beatdown is a good start.
I got a few ideas. And they all sound like “LOOKING FOR SOME COCAINE”
"TRUMP: Hey, Elon, tell him I said not to worry, he’ll be all healed up the next day. Get it? Elon! Hey!
MUSK: Yes, that’s a good joke, sir, ha ha!"
Yes, haha for the entire post.
Gotta admit, me being me as well as not paying enough attention to this horrible crime to be clear and just what happened, it never struck me that this could be a false flag thing; only from the great mind of the Maestro. I'm expecting a false flag for the 2026 election, maaayybee, probably for 2028. But this vicious attack on Big Balls*? Nope. (*Like Donny's claim in the 2016 debate of reasonably well endowed, all it takes to prove is a dropping of the drawers to prove. Or, alternatively STFU. And in BB's case, size becomes irrelevant if they're attached to a pathological, insane piece of trump.)
"TRUMP: How’d’ya like that? Sick, evil people. You can’t blame ‘em, he’s a creepy little shit."
ROTFLMFAO
God damn it, Roy, now I'll have that fucking AC/DC song in my head for the day 🤣
Funny. For no discernible reason my head this morning is full of a mashup of Watermelon Man (the slow version) and Day Tripper.
Somehow I never had thought of Watermelon Man as code for drug dealer, but I guess that sorta works.
Someone (lookin' at YOU, Bon Scott!) sat down one day, and wrote those words.
Having said that, "Big Balls" is my partner's favorite song at karaoke. The looks she gets from those unfamiliar with the song!
"Timmy from Lassie grew up to be a hairdresser" *prostrates self in worship*
And then fell into an abandoned mine
What's that, girl? Woof woof! You haven't seen Timmy all day? Woof! Don't have any idea where he is? Woof woof! Well, OK, you're no help.
Round up the usual abandoned wells.
All's well that ends [in a] well!
We wouldn't BE so lucky.
We don't ask for much, God.
We need a "Love" button for things like this
"he looks like Timmy from Lassie grew up to be a hairdresser"
I think it's funny e got beat up by a couple of Jr. High kids.
That photo looks posed - fake AF. A cross between The Pieta and Trumps fake ass Assasination .
Oh dear. Hey, what's everyone having for dinner?
In our house the first week of August is the opening of Ratatouille Season.
Probably the most palatable use of zucchini. It's hard for summer squash to be unappealing, but that one manages.
Too bad I can't hand you the oversized Costata Romanesco I spotted this morning. The garden plot got jungley, and this squash escaped my notice until much bigger than desirable. It's a variety of zucchini, but with a good flavor and no bitter edge. (Also forms attractive shapes when sliced.)
I'll unload it on some neighbor, but it would make a great big mess of ratatouille.
My mom used to make very good zucchini bread and zucchini jam
We do recipes here? Recipe Thursday, is that a thing? Anyway, half-peel (so you're left with stripes) then halve lengthwise, scoop out all the seeds and dice what's left. Stir fry in hot oil with garlic, when it starts to turn translucent take it out of the pan and set it aside. At the end, throw on top of everything else just before serving. Most people overcook zucchini and then blame the victim.
General rule for cooking any vegetable is "Water is the enemy of flavor." Vegetables are just full of water, you want get as much out as possible to concentrate what's left. So stir-fry is best, or if you're braising or steaming it should be in whatever juices develop, never add water.
Also, with ratatouille, I really try not to notice how much olive oil I'm glug-glugging into the pan. I wouldn't be surprised if dinner was just an excuse to drink a full cup of olive oil. And isn't that really what eggplant are for? The next best thing to shooting EVOO directly into your veins?
Peeling and seeding may get out bitterness. I fell for Romanesco after trying a couple of giveaway seeds last year. It has a sweet flavor throughout, and I haven't found it to need extra prep.
Definitely, stir-fry or saute is the best easy way to go, though grilled also would be good. I cook it in olive oil, pretty much for adding to pasta, nothing fancy. I'm too unambitious for blossom fritters.
I don't get the thing with cooking the blossoms, each blossom is an unborn zucchini, every blossom is sacred, the Lord God made them all.
This is where my newfound knowledge (and status as squash bore) comes in. Female flowers turn into fruit (you can see the shapes forming below those blossoms). Flowers on stalks that don't change are male. If it seems like male flowers have been doing their first sacred purpose, some of them can go on to the next.
Now, don't these look good? (Though I'm still not so ambitious.) https://littleferrarokitchen.com/zucchini-flower-fritters/
Never too much = juuuust right, olive oil div.
"Pauses to fart."
The pause that de-fleshes Rubio.
Because too stupid to walk and fart at the same time.
auto-da-fârt
Holy Reichstaggering hairdresser, Batman! The Boy Wonder incarnate!
15 yo boy and girl? This story gets more and more weird, which I guess is what we should expect from anything adjacent to this administration. Anyway, I think Rubio is more actively invested in the fascism that this nearly catatonic version implies. He might be keeping a low profile because he’s Hispanic, but I bet he relishes all the power he’s been granted, just like more outspoken assholes like Hegseth and Homan. Lastly, regarding Musk, may I recommend the writing of Will Lockett and the video of CityNerd respectively destroying the iconography of Tesla, SpaceX and the Boring Company? What a fucking fraud.
He enjoys the power? What power? He's an international errand boy for a mobster. All he gets out of it is a fancy title.
Not so much power as attention. He can't get enough, even the bad kind will do.
Warm fuzzies and cold pricklies
“Watch out for the quiet ones” is one of my rules for life.
Goddamn liberals, first they try to destroy a man's companies, then they go after his iconography.
Meanwhile, I hear ICE can’t hire because nobody wants to be associated with that toxin. They’re reportedly offering to pay off $50thou of student debt, dropped the age limits, and are press-ganging FEMA hires.
Eventually everyone in the country will be drafted into ICE but there will be no one to deport because ICE hires are exempt.
Loving the idea of seniors who can't afford to retire but refuse to be Wal-Mart greeters gettin' with the camo and bullet-proof fash fashion and hitting the streets, only to need frequent sit-down breaks and bathroom stops. Elite fighting force taking on M13, perhaps lulling them into submission by reading them stories, Grammy-style.
They'll fill up the ranks with shitty actors who can't find work.
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2025/aug/07/former-superman-actor-dean-cain-reveals-hes-becoming-an-ice-agent-to-support-trumps-mass-deportation-agenda
Scott Baio, Kevin Sorbo, the lady from the Star Wars series...
Victoria Fucking Jackson!
ICE: Has-Been Squad
“We can’t bust heads anymore, but we still have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I went over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, …”
"Stop! Stop! All right! I'm going to Venezuela!"
"Venezuela? Say, did I ever tell you about the time I went to Caracas...?"
"GAAAHHHH!!!"
"'Course my buddies all said I was ALREADY Caracas! Haw Haw! Get it? Caracas??!!"
[sound of auto-tracheal clampdown, followed by gurgling...slowly...slowly...fading out]
Paying half the working class to kill the other half, 21st century version.
As usual, Tubby falls back on his oldies. This time, instead of demanding the executions of dusky youth gangs, he's threatening to execute DC.
Also, too: "Heckuva time for Trump to declare that 14-year-olds are now adults." https://bsky.app/profile/justinbaragona.bsky.social/post/3lvolewsbv22z
In this ONE thing, he is consistent.
He's still big mad about the Central Park Five.
Big mad in all things.
But this, as well as Obama wasn't even born here, certain women are "low IQ," and the like are particularly (er) tinged.
"...this incredible young man"...with the biggest balls you've ever seen, amazingly big, never seen anything like them, so big that Arnold Palmer's dick would look small by comparison...
Yet he forgot officialdom's current product endorsement and dog whistle cranked to 11. "The biggest, and he has great jeans"
https://bsky.app/profile/dieworkwear.bsky.social/post/3lvohwtund22i
Repurposed canteloup jeans, he has!
1) Sending the National Guard into DC has already been done, and with predictable outcomes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_Washington,_D.C.,_riots
2) That he's trying to do this on behalf of one of L. Ron Musth's idiot children is Wilhoit's Law in action.
Look at what a YOOGE success they were in LA! Of course you open out of town, this is all building to one thing: BROADWAY!
From what I've read, the NatGuardsFolk will win the Tony for Greatest Eyerolls By a Supporting Cast.
"Hippie chick puts a flower in the barrel of my rifle, that bit's been SO done to death."
Those photos.
Henceforth, the German dictionary needs no other illustration to go with definition of Backpfeifengesicht.
Poor Richard Spencer, now he's lost even his place in the German dictionary.
Y'all forget that , if the assailants were teens of color, they inherently possess strength far beyond
yer average white. Also are impervious to stunguns, choke-holds, rubber bullets, and fewer that 15 rounds of actual metal bullets.