The flog of war

There’s wartime lying and then there’s whatever this is

Hell of a headline, that one up there. Before we get into the story behind it, let’s look at some headlines from earlier Tuesday:

The major news is that Shehbaz Sharif is excited to host Trump’s Big Deal with Iran Show. But you have to drill pretty far down in these stories to hear about a crucial missing piece —as seen in the 14^th graf of the Times story:

Though no talks in Pakistan have been confirmed, even the speculation serves a useful purpose. Pakistan has sought to be perceived as a diplomatic power...

Wait wait hold up — you mean Iran hasn’t agreed to share the stage with Tubby? That this is all about countries thronging to host Trump’s Big Deal with Iran Show — but the alleged co-star has not agreed to take part?

The 13 earlier grafs:

1. The nut: Sharif said “the country could host talks between the United States and Iran”;

2. Sharif quote (“Pakistan stands ready”);

3. “President Trump shared a screenshot of Mr. Sharif’s post on his platform, Truth Social”;

4. “According to two officials briefed on the diplomacy,” Pakistan sent Trump’s “plan to end the war” to Iran;

5. “a clear sign, amid growing speculation, of Pakistan’s eagerness... although no clear pathway to the talks has been detailed” (a careful reader’s first hint that the shiny box is full of rocks, but does the Times have careful readers anymore?);

6. How careful Pakistan has been to “stay above the fray”;

7. “Pakistan’s top government and military officials have nurtured a close relationship with Mr. Trump...”;

8. “That effort appears to have earned Mr. Trump’s good graces...”;

9. “Several countries” wanted the gig but Pakistan has the edge, “analysts say”;

10. “‘They know Iran very well,’ Mr. Trump said last year about Pakistan...”;

11. Pakistan “is a non-Arab, Muslim country, like Iran...”;

12. A genuinely interesting bit about Pakistan’s oil stakes in the Strait of Hormuz;

13. “At the same time, Pakistani officials have indicated that they want to avoid a confrontation with Iran...”

And then we find out for certain that we are talking about a totally hypothetical event on which Iran has not commented except to say it’s “fake news.”

Meanwhile Trump has also claimed that Iran “gave us a present and the ⁠present arrived today, and it was a very big present, ​worth a tremendous amount of money,” and that Marco Rubio and JD Vance are already in negotiations with Iran.

The Prestige Press delivers these dispatches with a straight face, sometimes adding a hopeful but not dispositive note, as CNN did on the Rubio-Vance story: “An Iranian source told CNN that Tehran is willing to listen to ‘sustainable’ proposals to end the war.”

As for the Post story about Trump claiming to have won the war, I unsubscribed long ago so I was only able to see an earlier version that was headlined “Trump says peace talks progressing as Iran officials deny negotiations.” I do see other outlets also reporting Trump’s claim, though — like NPR, which adds afterwards, “But Iran also believes it is winning in its form of asymmetric warfare, analysts and former U.S. officials say.”

So, you see, the message is: Bothsides! They lie — we lie. At least that’s one way to look at it — an old-fashioned type of cynicism about The First Casualty and all that.

There’s a difference here, though: Whereas we once assumed that our own side lied for solid martial and diplomatic reasons — because you never show all your cards, you have to keep the enemy guessing like with D-Day — now the lie is not about advantage over the enemy, but about the fantasy world Trump inhabits and is constantly foisting on his subjects.

That Trump lies as a matter of course is universally acknowledged — he and his fans use “the weave” and “seriously but not literally” to make it sound better, but everyone knows he’s constantly bullshitting and nothing he says has any meaning, serious or literal, except as to what he wants the world to think of him, which is what he thinks of himself: That he’s the greatest, Mr. 100% approval (see fine print for details).

Maybe I’m putting too fine a point on it — does it really matter why our president lies in wartime, when history conditions us to expect it? Maybe I’m just insulted that his lies are so stupid.

But I have to say that there is something ignoble and depressing about the model for American prevarication in time of war sliding from General Eisenhower holding his cards close to his chest to Tubby telling us the Iranians sent him an nice expensive prize and that he already won the war despite the continued bombing. Because in the former case the American leader was trying to win, while in the latter he’s just trying to look like a winner.

(Postscript: Adding a further note of absurdism to the Trump’s Big Deal with Iran Show, this morning’s big news is, per the Times, “Around 2,000 U.S. Paratroopers to Be Sent to the Middle East.” Lest you think of this as an escalation of hostilities rather than dealmaking, the Times adds that “The order gives President Trump more military options as he considers diplomacy with Iran,” the nation he previously announced he had defeated.)