TWO TONS OF FUN.
Been following rightwing millennial outreach a bit. National Review got their "Collegiate Network fellow" (i.e., intern) Celina Durgin to write a corker about how all her coevals are stupid to vote for Sanders. Fave bit:
Now, I’m not an old fogey trying to patronize the youngsters. And I believe I apprehend the reasons for their support that go deeper than his “free-stuff” policies. What I am is a Millennial pleading with my peers: Please resist jejunely embracing the notion of “justice” that conceals radical political and economic transformation.
Well, I was young once, too, so I will resist senilely disdaining young Durgin's prose. But over at The Federalist we have a pair of striplings who bear further examination. Bre Payton and Rich Cromwell -- despite their tender years, both have been treated here before -- tell us "Why Sports Illustrated Isn’t The Right Place To Talk About Body Positivity" and if you're thinking it's because either feels his/her spank mag spoiled by fatties, no such luck -- they lack any such refreshing directness of purpose.
First they mention that "plus-size" model Ashley Graham's 2016 SI Swimsuit Issue cover is merely a variant among three, so "it’s almost like they were afraid that plus-sized model Ashley Graham wouldn’t be able to sell enough magazines on her own and got skittish. Way to embrace positivity!" Actually one of the cover models is pugilist Ronda Rousey, which ain't exactly trad cheesecake either -- but wait, that chiding was just a humorous feint; next they tell us they think Graham "looks smoking hot." They even use a gif of an appreciative Audrey Hepburn because millennial (or maybe they're trying to tell us Hepburn was gay, not sure which). Now who's the enlightened chubby-chaser, libtards?
But eventually they have to come up with something like a thesis. Here is their first try:
She’s a departure from the norm, and that’s not such a bad thing. On the other hand, there are a few sizes—15 according to our numbers—between size 0 and size 16. Don’t get us wrong, we think it’s great the magazine is using a model who looks like she eats lunch on the regular. But why does it always seem that whenever a publication or a company uses a woman who isn’t a size 0, they swing for the fences?
We mean we like a little junk in the trunk, but WHOOOOOA you-all are goin' for the gold medal of Giganta-Gal if ya know what we mean and we mean get yourself a radiator and join the Junkyard Band! Even though you are smoking hot [emoji].
A few backstage-at-the-school-play fumbles later, they try another one:
In a TED Talk last year, Graham told the women of the audience that most of them were considered “plus sized.” She went on to decry this as a bad thing, saying women should reject the unfair labels the industry was handing out.
Graham is right—most American women are considered “plus sized”—but what she failed to mention is this is largely because we’re losing a battle with an obesity epidemic. Most Americans (roughly two-thirds of adults including women) are overweight, and nearly a third are obese.
[Blink.]
So while it’s important for women to have an opinion of themselves that exists outside of the noise of the digital world, it’s not the best idea to encourage everyone to ignore a problem that shaves an average of 6.5 years from one’s life...
[Blink. Blink.]
But wholesale acceptance of anything and everything, every shape and size, disincentives us to work for something better. That’s where the body positivity movement — and focus on appearance — get it wrong. Yes, we are more than our appearance, but that doesn’t mean we should just tear open a package of cupcakes and sit down while reveling in our elastic waistbands...
What they're telling Graham, and for her own good, is: You're gorging yourself into an early grave, tubbo, and that's why true Americans should only whack it to waifs -- it's a public health issue. Well, if Payton and Cromwell are going to stick with this wingnut welfare racket, it's never to early to learn to endure public humiliation.