WHY DO ALL THESE TRANSSEXUALS KEEP SUCKING MY ATTENTION?*
Let's see what's going on at one of our favorite rightwing opinion factories, The Federalist:
Hmm. That's --
...These carpet-baggers to womanhood are trying to prove to all of us that what it really means to be a woman is to pose in a playboy bunny outfit and make kissy faces at men. They reinforce this idea to teenage girls: go put on the miniskirt, honey, celebrate Jenner’s beauty, and try to exemplify it in your own life.
(Pause.) Let's try another story.
Bruce Jenner’s Transformation Is A Lose-Lose For Liberal Ideology
Huh. How ya figure?
...For years, a major aim of the sexual revolution has been to deconstruct gender differences as being “social constructs"...
This is the ideology that governs liberal sexual philosophy, and it collides head-on with major aspects of the transgender movement. Transgenderism is unavoidably based on a kind of gender essentialism...
Hey, look at the time. Let's see what else:
Great! I could use some light reading.
....As he adapted, he still was treating his body not as his own, but like a shiny new midlife crisis vehicle that came with a great rack worth flashing to his son...
Yikes.
Personally, I don’t care either way, and I wish him well, but I’d prefer we identify actions of bravery with real bravery...
Oh, so we're making too much of Caitlin Jenner, huh? The obvious solution is to continue talking about her.
So is the best response to Mother Nature’s cruel visual inequity more surgery for everyone and glam teams ‘til their outsides match their insides? If that is case, Jenner just won another gold medal in the vanity Olympics...
Aw snap.
Who knows, and who cares. That’s some silly discussion...
Come into the light, Federalist author!
...one that will make “Jezebel rain hellfire down on” you. What matters is how it sounds, how it makes you feel, and if it’s attractive. Silence is easier and more attractive when roving bands of social-justice warriors vociferously silence dissent...
Do these guys get bonuses when they work conservative persecution into stories?
Now that we dispensed with critical thinking and an honest debate of ideas, welcome to a world where what matters most is how you look. It’s a brave new superficial world that had no better launching location than the pages of Vanity Fair. We are a society that has fallen in love with its own reflection.
Please, no one ever show her a magazine rack from the past fifty years; she'll run into the street screaming like Kevin McCarthy at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Let's move on:
Oh for --
In a few days, we will celebrate the anniversary of D-Day, when men stormed enemy-filled beaches and died by the thousands...
Jesus Christ, aren't there any stories in this conservative magazine that aren't about transsexuals? Okay, one more:
I'll take it -- oh wait, it's full of Lena Dunham. Have you got a copy of Field & Stream?
(*Titular reference here.)