109 Comments

And you didn't even have to include the time Orban spoke at CPAC: https://www.npr.org/2022/08/04/1115541985/why-hungarys-authoritative-leader-is-drawing-conservative-crowds-in-the-u-s

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Totally speculative, but I wonder how many Republicans get a hard-on for Orban because it's Viktor and not Victor? Something about that K makes him sound harder and tougher, plus it's a third of the way to their favorite social club.

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They think he's the origin story of Viktor Von Doom.

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Better than Viktor Von Davis Hanson

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Ah yes – the axis of weevils.

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I would correct that to "axis of weasels", but I kinda LIKE weasels (Never Tease A Weasel) so I'll leave it as is. Fucking weevils, nobody likes them.

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As the weevils say: "When you got 'em by the bolls, their hearts and minds will follow."

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I love the biology minicourses we get here.

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Short-tailed or long?

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Actually, I don’t get the point. I’m also a dotard with brain cells dying at an ever greater rate.

I mean, far right extremism is uniform and of course rests on a herd mentality. All fascist states are pretty much the same but for unimportant differences.

And the post triggers this old rant: nothing like democratically elected officials pushing the masses to wanting a (necessarily rightist) authoritarian daddy to relieve the pressure of learning for whom to vote and in the hopes of things being made better.

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Pressure relief also extending to no further need of the crafts of coalition-building, legislation nurturing, coordinated, principled compromise, and speaking truth inexorably to power.

Authoritarians are lazy bastards.

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Well, I think the point is not just that they're similar, but that they help each other when they can. Like Republicans refusing aid to Ukraine so their pal Putin can win.

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Exactly. It’s the Global Brotherhood of Fascists all doing solids for each other.

But that’s fairly old news and I’d like to think all of us here already knew that. Of course, if anyone hadn’t known it now they do.

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Old news to you, maybe but ask the average American:

1) What is fascism?

2) Is Trump a fascist?

3) Name one other fascist leader

To which you'd get the reply: 1) "Huh?" 2) "Huh?" 3) "Hitler?"

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There are average Americans here?

Clearly, I’m missing the point here thanks to terminal dotage decline.

Please help!

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Roy's Substack, and his influence, extends farther than you think.

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Wheels within wheels, Bertie!

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Huh-Huh-Hitler worst Broadway Musical EVER.

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I'd give the stinkeye to the corporations, as well. They KNOW things are deteriorating, they want a calm predictable environment to work in, and if there's one thing dictators deliver it's order, as was demonstrated REPEATEDLY in the 20th Century.

And there's American Exceptionalism on top like a rotten cherry on the shit sundae, the It Can't Happen Here bullshit. Christ, the If Books Could Kill podcast did an analysis of a "the Left is destroying democracy by identity politics" books just days ago, and the author who's spent the entire book weaving autocracy out of the straw of anecdotes briefly mentions perceived antidemocratic tendencies from the Right but quickly dismisses them because Checks & Balances and the Bill Of Rights. And this shit was written LAST YEAR, two years after, I fucking dunno, an incident proving they're prepared to violate laws and standards to keep the Hierarchy intact.

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The right employs identity politics at least as much as and probably more than the left does

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I can be for Bernie Sanders just because I want some health care and for my student loans to be forgiven. For the Republicans, who make it a point of pride that they offer me nothing, what else do they have but identity?

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Yup. People whose pronouns are "Sieg/Heil".

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Maybe fair to say that there are a lot of people who just don't understand what fascist/fascism means, what it entails. This is (I guess on a global scale now) some seriously messed up shit

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Yeah, thinking ahead to when I'm Door-Knocking for Ol' Joe, and if I'm confronted with one of those undecided voters, I don't think I'd lead with "Trump is a fascist", because then I'd have to spend 15 minutes explaining what a fascist is.

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The 50-year Rule:

"Ya know haw ya used to have enough money, back about 50-55 years ago? You know how you ain't gettin' by anymore? Ya know how the massive wealth growth in the last 50 years went entirely and exclusively to already-rich people, right? Tha's fascism, my friend. And the republicans bought it (and you and I paid for it) hooklinesinker, and installed it everywhere."

Even the dolts get that one.

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Christ, look at the stuff the Wobblies did back in the 1920s to educate workers who was on which side. The only reason people accepted the idea of a CEO as President is that we've been lied to for a hundred years about class, wealth, and power, and the supposed magic of The Free Market. Meanwhile every retail outlet in the country uses integrated tracking systems in what's essentially a command economy, and nobody points that out, either. Jean Baptiste Emanuel Musk makes cars YOU CAN'T RUN THROUGH A CAR WASH and yet half the fucking country is ready to drop their drawers for him. It's lie-turtles all the way down.

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YOU CAN'T RUN THROUGH A CAR WASH

is my admonishment of the week.

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And now “Car Wash” is my jam of the week!

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The thing is words like fascism have been politicized because only liberals are saying them. This is why the blame falls so heavily on the legacy media. They have not adapted to the fact the Republican Party has descended into fascism, they are still doing business-as-usual, horse race political coverage. They should be publishing easy to understand explainers about WHY Trump is a fascist, explaining about authoritarian governments vs. democracies, explaining how authoritarians in power change the very nature of the federal government, the courts, the military. Explaining how it isn’t just about who sits in the Oval Office for the next four years, but how democracy could be permanently destroyed. They are not doing any of this, because Trump drives engagement and they want him back. Now THAT is deplorable.

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I don't mean to let those fuckers off the hook, but it's also true that "One of your two major parties is fascist" is a new idea, and introducing new ideas to a couple of hundred million potential voters never goes well, at least in the short term (and campaigns are always run on the short term.) Like how "Two dudes should be able to marry" took 10-15 years, and "Climate change is real" took 20-30 years. In ten years, we might get this idea to percolate through the skulls of most Americans, but we haven't got ten years.

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It isn't easy to do and it might not be successful, or successful in time. I guess what constantly infuriates me is they are not even really trying, and they are not trying because they have a financial motivation NOT to try -- to use an antiquated concept, they want to sell more papers.

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I have a hard time figuring out what the fuck they think their purpose is, what are they good for? Seems like the media's view is that you and I and three hundred million other Americans are primarily spectators, or maybe bettors at a racetrack, we just want the odds, win, place and show. They definitely don't see us playing any useful role in this here democracy, like how they tend to ignore the debate on an important piece of legislation til it's passed, then they might inform us of what it means for us. Which isn't different from how the press works in a totalitarian state, to communicate the dictates of the government to the populace, which is expected to passively receive them,

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And that’s primarily the legacy print media. Don’t get me started on the Sunday shows, they seem to operate on the premise only Republicans exist because “wHaT aRe deMocRatS?” and they wouldn’t recognize a hardball, challenging follow-up question if it bit them on the ass.

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Really gives The Mothers of Invention's It Can't Happen Here a whole new angle.

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"That's the breaded thing, with the mayonnaise, right?"

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No, that's Hope. Or Crosby, I forget.

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Newly discovered Road movie: Fishsticks To Fairbanks

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1930s Italy - The worldwide depression seems to be waning for some people but for your average Italian farmer trying to feed his family off a couple acres, times are still real hard.

Stuck out in the farthest reaches of the Po River valley , Giovanni lives with his wife snd six kids in a tumbledown shack trying to make a living off of two acres that was farmed out sometime the last century. He's having a bad day. There's been no rain for a month and he's looking to have a miserable harvest. He's at the end of his rope. He's sitting out in the minimal shade from a dead tree. He thinks about praying but that never seems to work. Then he has an idea. He decides to write God a letter.

He addresses it to : The Almighty in Rome. Italian peasants know that anyone important lives in Rome.

The letter is simple, it says:

Dear Almighty - I humbly beseech you, My family and I won't make it through this winter without some help. Could you please send me 500 lira? You're humble servant-Giovanni.

He feels pretty good about this so he spends some his last few lira on a stamp and mails it to Rome.

At the Central Post office in Rome they get the letter. The postmaster looks at it and wonders. It should obviously go to the Vatican but that's all the way across town. He decides to do the carrier a favor and puts it in the mail going to Mussolini, who resides a couple of blocks away. Everyone would agree, he certainly thinks of himself as Almighty.

The letter works its way through the bureaucracy. After a month, mostly because nobody knows what to really do with it, the letter winds up on Mussolini's desk. Mussolini opens it reads it and is quite moved. He writes a little note,

"Thanks for the kind words Hope this helps! Mussolini."

He puts the note ,an autograph picture and 250 lira in an envelope and sends it back to Giovanni.

Giovanna gets the envelope, opens it and reads. He's overcome with gratitude.

He immediately sits down to write a thank you note -

Dear Almighty,

Thank you so much for your help! It's not everything I needed but I know you got a lot of people you need to take care of so I will gladly take whatever help you can provide.

P.S. I don't know if you should be sending that through Mussolini though - motherfucker stole half of it.

Best,

Giovanni

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"figlio di puttana" is my new epithet of the day.

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Tough act to follow, but here's a story about Umberto Nobile, the airship pioneer and polar explorer: Umberto has a fairly successful business building airships, some say they're the most technologically advanced in the world, he's even sold a couple to the U.S. navy, and then one day some fascist thug walks into his office and says, "We want to buy you out", where "we" is understood to be either the fascist government or Mussolini's rich pals, same diff. Nobile tells the guy to fuck off (but in Italian, of course) and then, right up until the day Il Duce met the meat hook, the fascists did whatever they could to fuck with him. Nobile was too popular to murder, so they just put him under constant surveillance, locked him out of his office and his business, launched sham investigations into him, including for a failed polar expedition, and constantly smeared him in the fascist press.

Not as funny a story as yours, but maybe something to share with a right-wing uncle over Christmas when he says "We need a real strong man to put this country right, a businessman who knows what's good for business." Uncle better not own anything the strongman or his pals might covet, or he'll be getting an offer he can't refuse.

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Periodic reminder that prior to Trumpov, the two most recent "businessmen" elected President were named Herbert Clark Hoover and George Walker Bush.

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Whoah, you're not suggesting we elect "career politicians", I hope? Who would want people hired for a job to have previous experience in the job? I know I'm never going to a "career heart surgeon"!

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No, that's not the point – the point is Hoover Bush. Or Bush Hoover. Either way, my 13 year old brain is amused.

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Unfortunately, too many people don’t know these autocrats true motives. I don’t believe all of the people that vote for these “snake oil salesman” truly understand their goals and aims; or they just don’t care until it’s too late.

See Brexit; the Brit’s are still paying the price and more than 70% of them recently said, they never thought it would pass, or didn’t realize its effects would be so detrimental to their economy. In other words, they are easily manipulated or are extremely gullible.

That said, like Trump never read Mien Kampf, yet, he seems to quote Hitler often. What’s even more amazing is how easily frightened republican politicians are of Trump. And if his own party is this scared, imagine how scared America should be if he wins again. After all, these are Trump’s most ardent supporters; most of America, not so much!

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Sir, etc –

I'll have you know that snake lubrication is an ancient and noble enterprise! Those of us who promulgate the finer details of lubricant choice, also adhere (that counterintuitive word!) to all applicable hazardous materials regulations (not to mention the Endangered Species Act!). All this while also offering multiple ways for lubricating shops of scales from sole proprietors to major national governments to avail themselves of the finest reptilian oils and greases in quantities from single-application to 1000ft tanker ship.

Snidely, (no, really, that is my name) Whipsnake,

CEO, Flack and Bushwah Coordinator, National Association of Snakeoil, Grease, & Ulterior Lubricants Salesfolx (NASGULS)

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"Banana oil" is a phrase I picked up from Singin' in the Rain: "Lena, you don't believe all that banana oil Dora Bailey and those fan magazines print?"

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Why would you need to know about banana oil, Mr B?

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Well, there ain't no bones in bananas, but apparently thar's oil.

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Just wonderin' where you put that lubricated banana, is all...

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What a man does with his banana is his own damn business.

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Science has made great strides in the area and there are many businesses that will provide you with water or silicone based alternatives. Banana oil, pfaugh!

...now, COCONUT OIL...

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Ah, that's just banana oil, Poindexter!

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Ah, so what Don Lockwood was really saying to Lena Lamont was "bullshit."

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That was before they invented swearing

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Oh horsefeathers! (I'm reading a Wallace Stegner novel right now, set in the 1920's, "horse collar" is used as an expletive, although one mild enough that it can be used in mixed company.)

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I see someone missed Deadwood

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Fair enough, I stand corrected....:)

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Of course he didn’t read it. Maybe the Classics Illustrated version, if one had ever existed. “Maus,” except too anti-Nazi, likewise “The Great Dictator.” No, he imbibed it with the Zeitgeist of his father’s generation that thought “Hitler had some good ideas, unlike that crippled commie Jew, Roosevelt.”

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Didn't Ivana say he kept a book of Hitler's speeches by the bed? Says a lot that the only part of that story I find unbelievable is "Trump read a book."

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I bet he read (parts of) the ghosted biographies of the Great Him (if only skimming to whenever the words "Donald" and/or "Trump" appeared).

"Huh...I said that? Huh..."

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Now I'm imagining a book like those "personalized stories" that relatives used to buy for kids for Christmas, a collection of quotes from strongmen and autocrats with King Toad's name cleverly included.

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Like a billboard with YOUR KAMPF HERE

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Now THAT'S a Facebook text-as-image post if ever I saw one.

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I don't know that King Toad has actually READ any of that book, though maybe it's one of those "be as ruthless as you can" business success books like the one about Vlad The Impaler's lessons for success. (Yes this is real) It's probably a case of parallel evolution, influenced by talking to shitfucks like Stephen Miller and Nick Fuentes.

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Perhaps, but he definitely read the cliff notes!...:)

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"Vlad The Impaler's lessons for success"

Um... would it involve IMPALING?

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He is SOOO misunderstood. I mean, one time – just ONE TIME – he runs outta the house late for work and the missus, knowing his asthma is really bothering him, yells "Vlad! The inhaler!" and somebody hears it wrong, and there ya go, that's yer history right there.

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--and being "mentored" by the execrable Roy Cohn.

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His connection to the Kennedy magic!

Hey, maybe that's the fake JFK Jr. connection!

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Jeez boss, I knew u were about to pull the rug out from under this week's slightly-more-hopeful-than-usual posts. Merry fucking holidays to you & yourn & all y'all in REBID land.

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And here I was, just yesterday, thrilled with the wild success of Joe Biden's SECRET PLAN to win a second term by keeping Trump off the ballot in the Colorado Republican Primary. Life's a roller-coaster ride for sure.

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You say Meloni, I say Melania, it’s all about the melatonin. Two steps forward, three steps back, the totalitarian tango. Fascist fashion never goes out of style.

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Tango get no respect. Astor Piazzolla wanna word...

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Also, too: Big Shoulders!

Roy could do a whole stack.

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Fascist!

Turn to the right!

Fascist!

They have a goon squad

And they're coming to town

Beep beep!

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They do it over there/So now let's do it here

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I haven't written a filk in geological aeons but I might have to break out the pen for this

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Filk.

Huh.

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(It damn sure ain't about the melanin.)

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Yeah, was thinkin'...

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Trump and the Republicans stand out among the whole bunch, because they're easily the least popular of all the fascist parties and candidates. Bolsonaro, for example, won election with 55% of the vote, nobody seriously thinks Trump can even win 50%. Viktor Orban's party, Fidesz, won a two-thirds majority in Parliament (although a narrower 52% majority in the vote totals) which enabled them to make major changes in the constitution to push forward their fascist program. Today's Republican party struggles to gain a 5-seat majority in an election that was supposed to produce a "red wave." Which brings me to my traditional holiday greeting, thanking the motherfucking founders for gifting us the motherfucking Electoral College.

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This might be why American fascists direct so much admiration to the foreign variety: They like to fantasize about what it would be like to be actually popular. I wonder if any admiration comes back in the other direction? Do foreign fascists think of Trump and the Republicans as anything other than the slow kid who can't keep up? A guy like Orban must laugh at their ineptitude, can't even elect a Speaker of the House without making fools of themselves.

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I remember the attempted coup in Venezuela awhile back and the plaintive sighs from the chuds about why we couldn't have cool stuff like that HERE.

Fuck, I guess it's time again to listen to It Can't Happen Here, though last time I finished it I went into a major depression. But I'm feeling better at the moment, a three day weekend is approaching, and maybe, mayyyyybe, things are looking up.

So happy Yule, happy Solstice, Merry Xmas, festive Kwanzaa, best thoughts for 2024 and crossing mah FINGAHS. As Jared Y Sexton says, stay safe.

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Things are looking up, you say? Happy Holidays!

https://youtu.be/Xq2uweAMMW8

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Not the "happiest man" (or Yeti) yet, but, Jesus, I feel what I think folks call "not messed in the head". Kinda positive. A skosh of self-confidence. I like it.

Don't know HOW I got here, but, fuck, I'm going to try to hang on.

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Same movie, just watch the whole thing, it's like The Power of Positive Thinking set to Gershwin:

https://youtu.be/-3xNsaTxqwk

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Can't forget the chief US networker and his bible: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2017/03/steve-bannon-and-the-camp-of-the-saints.html

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Make the trains run on time again! Even if there are no trains!

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Trains? They're socialist. Make the TRAFFIC JAM run on time!

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You're trouble, mister. And there are only three things sure in life, that's taxes, death, and trouble.

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"Watch it now, mistah. Them cars is gonna lurch to a screeching halt in just...about...NOW." There they is, the 7:38 Special, right on the mark."

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Make the migrant flights to Marta's Vineyard run on time.

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LOL. Are you my twin from another multiverse incarnation?

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When the migrants come back to Martha's Vineyard

That's when you can set your watch to the second

When you gestured, "Take off", in old Miami

Arrival at the shore was eas'ly reckoned

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2 marks for the lot a yinz!

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The Simpsons, of course, were on point: https://youtu.be/60Fxz-NL5hA?si=jvncy_KHLhjS8RnP

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