59 Comments
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Again: All references to the vile Dan Crenshaw must read: Fake Porn Stud Dan Crenshaw. JFC. Is that so hard?

I actually loved this post. So much easier to have a bunch of tweets dumped on us than to click links to disreputable (or worse!) sites. Kind of miss Roy's commentary but then again, these stinkers speak for themselves.

Expand full comment

The essence of good satire is knowing when to step back & just let the goblins play. Even better is to just drop it without context & let the fuckery commence. But that is not responsible in our days of Credulity as God.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

OMG! Just reread the post and, uh, caught what I missed the first time around.

Genius! Great channeling by el jefe.

Expand full comment
Dec 31, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Will nude oil wrestling references do? Because that's what I'm pretty sure his version of "Fight me" is. Also, honestly, the guy might have made a decent James Bond, and we get stuck with him making fucking laws? Couldn't he have found fame on Cameo and YouTube and let us live?

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

The Grassley tweet is just too perfect.

And, yeah--I'm quite enjoying watching conservatives start to split into factions, especially as the basis of the factionalism is pretty much nothing. This has a really strong potential to turn into a Hundred Years War kind of thing, fighting over the "correct" way to worship their god Trump.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

No, no — the Dreher tweet was perfect-er!!

Expand full comment

Agreed. (chef’s kiss)

Expand full comment

I've said since the Reagan years that the one thing binding republicans is their hatred. when the usual targets are unavailable, there is always their own.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Let them fight!

Expand full comment

And everyone makes fun of the Left for their (admittedly mostly very) silly rivalries & horseraces. That's what powerlessness does to a political movement & why COINTELPRO was so awfully effective as a neoliberal suppression tactic.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Gulliver to his Houyhnhnm master: "Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent."

In this insane hallucinatory world of conspiranoia, what Swift wrote as satire we now live in as reality.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

ENCORE!

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I feel kind of gross that I'm agreeing with (apparently real) Michelle Malkin.

I liked the whole Ben Shapiro play, and yes, if Lahren doesn't have an onlyfans by now, it's a matter of time. She's getting desperate for attention.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Also, the title is fab, and took me a second or two.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

When she starts posting nudes, we'll know her clock is about run out.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Christ, not just hers! That'll chase me off twitter for sure, even if only mocking retweets. Is there a word for "my sexuality is 'utterly turned off by repulsive personalities, wouldn't even imagine hate-fucking'"?

Expand full comment

republican?

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I have not had sex with a republican voluntarily since junior high. So yeah, that may be what I'm saying. It took me a couple more years to cross libertarians off the list. Especially male ones. I think it's the opposite of demisexuality.

Expand full comment
author

You mean there are non-female libertarians?

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Alan Greenspan

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Hell, I was surprised to learn there were female ones at all. They're harder to spot, which made slutting around kind of perilous. I was much more adventurous then.

Expand full comment

Oh, I'm sure she has. Snowbunny1488, always poses in a skull fackmask

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Torn Ligament (what I call her, it's a meme) decided to date a universally loathed former Chicago Bears quarterback, Jay Cutler, former husband of Kristin Cavallari, earlier this year. As if he was trying to make himself even more repellent to Bears fans (like myself).

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I am DECEASED. Always a great start to the day when Roy makes me spit out my coffee. “A reader who is gay, Black, and disabled but hates Biden writes ….” Is just textbook Dreher.

Expand full comment

I want to hate-read the next 364 tweets in that thread!

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Me too: “As Philip Rieff (an atheist and man of the Left!) prophesized in his seminal book, The Triumph of the Therapeutic, and as I further develop in MY bestselling new book, Jesus Hates Gay People ….. “ (266/365)

Expand full comment

I assure you that Mr. Roso does not, but will anyways

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

You know, this is worth several re-reads because this time through I'm in love with the Marco Rubio response.

Expand full comment

this is the point to which the last 40 years, and in particular the last 4 years, of republican venality has brought me: I can no longer tell which of these tweets is from authentic accounts. SAD! when parody and reality are indistinguishable, it may be time for superfund status, though I have to admit that point was reached decades ago.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

If the decline of the USA were dramatized, it would be the scene in Hedda Gabler where she tells Eilert to take the gun and commit suicide beautifully, only to learn that he died in a brothel from a messy, accidental gunshot.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Dems in Disarray!

Expand full comment

Yep, dems in disarray all right

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

A masterpiece.

Expand full comment

Perfect, really brings this classic scene to mind for me:

"are you the judean peoples front?"

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Where are the Trump tweets about cowardly Republican Congress critters? Art tries to but cannot attain the comedic insanity of The Donald on a typical day of rage vomiting.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Also, Michelle you ignorant slut, it’s “party hearty.” Sheesh!

Expand full comment
Dec 31, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Seems to me either one works. But don't worry, "Tow the line" ought to show up any minute.

Expand full comment

That would demand we believe he thought about these critters at all when they were not actually handing him the flamethrower

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I can’t pick a favorite, but the “1/365” tag on the Dreher bit actually made me chortle. So I guess that one.

Expand full comment

Wouldn't you think someone who cares about burning countries as much as Malkin claims to would light fewer fires?

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

she needs to light fires, so that her readers can see her tweets. Parler is a twitter lit only by fire, isn't it?

Expand full comment
Dec 31, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

Very accurate description. Can't decide if burning crosses or burning bags of shit.

Expand full comment

This is seriously funny fucking shit. Just what I needed -- especially because I woke up this mornimg ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT I could explain literary canonicity using Twitter as a model. So I will need to ask you if there is Fake Tweet generator app or something?

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

I’m not sure, but there is a Lutheran Insult Generator: https://ergofabulous.org/luther/

Expand full comment
Dec 31, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

This is priceless. As a former Lutheran, I am forever in your debt.

Expand full comment

Anyone remember that 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘬 episode about the Nazi planet? One of the aliens says "Stop, Nazis. After you've killed the last of us off, what do you do, turn the guns against yourselves?" For some reason, this column reminded me of that.

Expand full comment
Dec 30, 2020Liked by Roy Edroso

These are brilliant. For a few seconds, I fell for the Hannity/Rubio exchange as real. If there were a lefty version of QAnon, these would all be dogma.

Expand full comment