25 Comments

Whenever I think of Jonah, an odour emanates mysteriously....

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I was sure you made up the bulk of the Jonah quotes until I clicked through. That is some fine Bulwer-Lytton logorrhea there.

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Same here, and I’m ashamed to say that I thought, of what I took to be the faux-Goldberg passages, that these were pretty lame, ham-fisted parodies, well below our host’s usual standard—and then, like you, I clicked through. Roy, I’m sorry, man. I was a fool to doubt you.

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I have to disagree. Until I wised up, I thought Roy's parody quotes were brilliant! I mean, come on: "bathrooms where stewed bowels are uncorked like a confused drunk opening an emergency exit" or describing people anywhere as "flush with the stench" would have been some truly imaginative Pantloadin'. That it turns out to be echt Goldberg is a bonus, or as he might say, and probably will, "like a lagniappe from the service animal of an inebriated pole dancer on dexamethasone."

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Wait…you assert that Goldberg does Goldberg better than Edroso does Goldberg? [insert carriage return, impossible on substack] My second will call upon you.

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Pssst, Rand.

Rand.

Rand.

It’s a brand new day!

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Fucking hell!

Does this mean that one day we’ll have <em>character formatting</em>?

(Ha-ha. I kid. I <em>kid</em.)

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Don’t give him any ideas. Charge for them!

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The stupidest thing Jonah ever wrote . . . until he writes something else, which then will be the stupidest thing he ever wrote.

BTW, that stench Jonah wrote about? It's actually the rotting corpses of parody and irony. They've been decaying for quite a while, and Jonah the Fail is one of their killers.

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He’s amazing.

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It would be unintentionally hilarious if Jonah was recruited onto an episode of "Drunk History" to, say, narrate a history of the Warren G. Harding administration. He wouldn't even need to take a drop to drink.

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This made me physically ill.

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“But it wasn’t wacky enough. It needed more wack.”

Luckily (for him; less so for us) he’s been part of America’s Strategic Wack Reserve for decades now.

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He's been preparing for The Great Wack Off his entire life. He know's he'll come first this time!

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("Wiggity Wack and the Hairplugs" featuring FSB Asset #1 as Lead Liar and Jonah Scheissenhosen on butt-tuba.)

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Upvote for "Scheissenhosen!"

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I've got a new motto for National Review -- All the Hats That Fit:

https://tinyurl.com/yce9yeho

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Dunce cap or Klan hood? You make the call. . .

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Asshats all around!

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Nothwithstanding the execrable writing, at least that post had no coherent point.

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This enervating gasbag is speaking at Cornell this week for the "distinguished" something or other lecture. Sadly, I have to wash my hair that afternoon.

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Cornell! I bet he wishes the SJWs would deplatform him and make him famous.

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Ahhh, no one GETS the Doughy Pantload like you do.

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"It was even better than Duck Soup -- it was like Airplane!" ranks up there as one of the "sickest burns" (as the kids say these days) in history.

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