68 Comments
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I was enjoying this more and more as I read on til the end. I was highly disappointed by using my beloved Tulsi for a cameo. She s either to be used as the star of the piece or not at all or I get sad and frustrated.

But today's laff-riot triggers a thought experiment: What kind of putatively democratic nation willingly elects a cohort of leaders so shitty as to make Putin look both good in comparison as well as somewhat exceptional when he's actually just apparently better.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Up until this very moment, the question "Would you like Steven Seagal to beat the shit out of Tucker Carlson?" had never entered my mind, but now I realize, why yes. Yes I would.

And the pratfalls are wonderful.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Brilliant as always. The Seagal bit is tragically accurate. He's got a well-earned reputation for being a complete dick on set and absolutely refusing to rehearse or even discuss scenes in advance. The story is told of him refusing to walk-through an action scene on a boat in the Seine River, and subsequently tumbling overboard when he managed to fall into and break through the wrong door.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

It's an alternate, now lost, version of the "Brawndo" scene from Idiocracy.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The implicit comparison of your Segal with the real statement of Schwarznegger makes this all the sharper.

No fan (ok, I liked Predator and laughed at Kindergarten Cop..) but dang…

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022·edited Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I found the denouement particularly satisfying. And, though I doubt I will be able to work it into a conversation, "confidently waddles" is my new favorite phrase.

All in all, a great day here at BID.

Like always.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

oh no DON’T END IT THERE!

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'd love to see this. Carlson is pure evil at this point. What's particularly lovely is that cable subscribers pay Fox close to $2 billion -- whether they watch Fox or not -- so this piece of shit doesn't even need advertisers. There's a campaign to fix this (https://unfoxmycablebox.com/) but last I looked it still hasn't gotten traction.

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"TUCKER CARLSON, wearing surprisingly roomy dark grey gabardine slacks"

OOF.

And the shirt? I looked it up. Man.

But this:

"CARLSON: [That creepy laugh of his]"

makes me glad I have not ever seen or heard this dude, so 2marks!

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

My biggest smile of the day (no doubt it's early, but no way anything outperforms this):

"One of the cue-card holders, confused, checks her cards."

Whatever you do, always check yer cards first!

Expand full comment

"surprisingly roomy dark grey gabardine slacks" Gold! Pure gold!

Expand full comment
Mar 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Who came first, Power Girl or Tawny Madison?

Expand full comment

Wouldn’t this be an awesome cold open to something longer that concluded with helium and a Boots Randolph soundtrack

Expand full comment

Struggling to understand why Fox can't just go with "Vladimir Putin is totally evil AND WE HAVE ALWAYS SAID SO." They're worried Aaron Rupar will call them out for their inconsistency?

Expand full comment

Q: What is wrong with this world?

A: The last panel is a hack:

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/LaWSQD3

Expand full comment