27 Comments

Nice essay!

I wanna know one thing - how can every freeway exit fireworks store be the World's Largest?

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Everything is Firework Stand

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

A question: Is Wisconsin the only place where you buy cheese and fireworks together?

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Seems like all the FIBS want from us.

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They are all the same size?

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Many purport to be the World's Largest. I don't use fireworks so I don't know.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I’m a little more jaundiced than you, Roy, because I think the 4th is so entrenched in our culture as a holiday that just like how atheists still give presents at Christmas, people would still set off fireworks even if the country goes Full Fascist.

But on a brighter note, the fine citizens of Philadelphia chased the Patriot Front assholes out of town on Saturday (for whatever bizarre reason they had shipped themselves in from out of state – I don’t know why they chose to march down Market Street, maybe they were too dumb to find Independence Hall). I was sitting outside nearby and heard the fracas but didn’t find out what was going on until later. Score one for democracy.

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Goddamn, I need to pay better attention to the news.

Sounds like the police did their sworn duty to stand by while the fash tried to assault onlookers, & then the crowd chased them away. I'd say two-thirds of Philly PD has at least PF materials shared to them on FB, if not actively subscribed to them.

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I'd concur with that estimate. Two-thirds of the white ones, obviously.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

We celebrated in our traditional way by grilling up a couple of racks of baby back ribs, then settling in to watch the town fireworks from our back deck. This year, one of our neighbors spent a shit-ton of money at some fireworks establishment, so we had the town's 30-minute professional show going off two miles away and the neighbor's nearly professional show going off just down the hill. Quite spectacular!

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

We did a raft trip outside Missoula on the 4th. Our guide, a native (and autodidact)! Told us that he really disliked the 4th because the natives celebrate it by overly engage in drunk driving — not that he’s exactly a bluenose vice-wise, just that he’s at an age where he approves of vices, just not abuse of same.

FWIW, of course.

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I have to confess, my favorite Independence Day fireworks show was in California better than twenty-five years ago, when the group next to us on the beach accidentally lit their paper shopping bag full of fireworks alight.

Three hundred bucks worth all went up in less than thirty seconds. Quite the show - I've seen fancier exhibitions, but this one was the most memorable.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Between the renewed governmental fireworks (pyro-socialism!), the neighbors’ enthusiastic patronage of Fireworks Barn on Highway 29, and a squirrel jihadist blowing up the neighborhood electrical transformer, I’m going to be paying an animal psychologist big bucks to treat our two dogs (parakeets apparently are unfazed by explosions).

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Is the Barn out on 29 the World's Largest?

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

The squirrel jihadis are the worst. Some years ago when we lived in a rental house, I was out weed-wacking around the telephone pole out front when I heard a loud "POP!" followed by the plop of a very dead red squirrel landing at my feet. He'd shorted out the transformer and become the latest in a long line who'd gotten the electric arc.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Spirited and relentless. Oh boy!

I viewed my neighbor's festivities through a more jaundiced eye, I admit, but I appreciate your view. I do hope they finished off their cache last night and that their less-than-reliable cars rattle on and their future utility bills aren't sky high.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

"I’m American enough that I like loud noises." Superpatriot!

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

If I were king of the fireworks, I'd start at dawn. Napalm, son.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Apologies for being a stickler, but 'he who controls the past' &c.: as far as I've seen credibly claimed, life expectancy figures that low include the nasty levels of infant mortality; if you had lived to the age of five or so you could easily make it to the fifties or sixties.

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Infant and early childhood disease knocked off up to 50%, young adulthood including childbearing killed another 15-25%. One in four made it into their 60s and a few into their 80s.

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Thank-you for better data; do you have mean or median remaining lifespans at five or ten or sixteen years of age, or a pointer for a good source so I can do the work?

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There are the equivalent of historical actuarial tables. Try the society of actuaries (soa). Also history of medicine texts. Here’s one about infant and childhood mortality: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1179/174963207X227578?journalCode=yldn20

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

(Periodic reminder that the British occupied Philadelphia on September 26th of that same year. Things can go sideways in a hurry.)

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Jul 5, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I look at fireworks in the same way as parades and puppet shows; fun for children or people alive before the dawn of cinema, but something society should've shaken loose of long ago. Nevertheless, even if I wanted to simply enjoy the awe and majesty of bright lights and loud explosions in the sky, there is no escape from at least one person saying, "No, this simply isn't enough; I really need to hear Lee Greenwood or Katy Perry as this is happening."

Rest easy today, dogs and cats.

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We had some friends over for ribs and potato salad, and the bourbon was more popular than I expected. Fortunately a guest brought extra. I hauled out the 10' movie screen in the back yard and we watched Judas Priest do Breaking The Law (wife's choice) and A Night At The Opera (mine). Only patriotic component was the muffled explosions from Bayshore and Little Ho!lywood.

Your finish reminded me of Rick's line to Colonel Strasser in Casablana, "there are certain parts of Hell's Kitchen I would advise avoiding."

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Well, theoretically, there was a professional fireworks display here. We didn't watch it. Not as much of the amateur either since here in the PNW, fireworks were banned to use and sell at some point. We have enough wildfires so TYVM. Mind your global warming activities.

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Roy, as a former NYC resident, you'll appreciate that the cheek- by-jowl proximity of the City's Chinatown and Little Italy makes for potential neighborhood fireworks paradise. A friend and I went to Battery Park Along with Cap'n Goodin/and there we saw the men and boys/as thick as hasty pudd'n --- woops, got patriotically carried away. We went to Battery Pk to see the city's Fourth fireworks, which that year were being let off out in the harbor. Then we made our way back to her place in NoHo through the mini-WW3 being waged on all those blocks leading up to Houston. It wasn't quite dark yet. It was mostly street level fireworks and every intersection was almost waist high with a sloping mound of spent squibs, the gunpowder-fragranced murk rocked with bangs, squeals, wavering rocket shrieks and yells, while kids, teens, and adults darted around, adding to the anarchy. It was great. Not a cop in sight; I believe Mr. Gotti was on the throne in those days, though how it works for Chinatown I don't know.

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