82 Comments
Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

There once was a time when it might be too soon

Soon to disassemble the righteous buffoon

Buffoon with a gunsight

Gunsight in the moonlight

Moonlight our last chance to light up the poltroon

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Tucker, The Crumb-Bums, And The Weekly Running Of The Crisis Actors, A Continuing Series (Unfortunately)

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I always withdraw $4000 in cash, drive to Detroit, and hide in a basement before I voluntarily surrender myself to the authorities. These great second amendment patriots merely took a circuitous route as part of their plan to turn themselves in like responsible citizens, lmao.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Patriotically burning extra fossil fuel.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

That’s what I do, too!

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Among our gun enthusiasts, it's taken as a given that all of our cities exist in a state of total lawlessness, what's not already on fire is being raided by the flash-mobs, the police cower in their stations, surrounded by "no-go" zones. Crumbleys probably thought once they crossed the Detroit city line they might as well be in Somalia, Libertarian Paradise.

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I remember a history professor reading from a Cincinnati police manual referring to certain wards in the city: "Two if by day, a squad if by night." That would have been 1900. I guess as far as they are concerned nothing has changed in the last 125 years.

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Oh, by the way them would be Irish and Italian wards.

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So dangerous in a romantic and colorful way, later to be glorified by the likes of Martin Scorcese.

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Duh, the difference is clear -- Italian or Irish thug? Clearly proletarian heroes chasing the American Dream

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I think this is the correct analysis.

Or else they thought they could crash in Enimem's mom's trailer home.

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Perhaps they were hoping to assert their 3rd amendment rights & refuse to lodge the military... ?

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Your alternate universe's version of Tucker is doubtless accurate: you see the story where Carlson had asked one H. Biden to write a recommendation for his son getting into a private school?

Amerika's would be Aristocracy is beyond weird, and professionally un self aware.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I'll bet he's even VACCINATED!

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Of course he is -- he's not stupid.

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He is admittedly a very good method actor.

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His inability to get into the schools most people with his background did, says otherwise

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

This made me laugh, which probably means I’ve been numbed to the horror that Antonin Scalia foisted on America by misreading the Second Amendment. Now that the Court has revealed the quality of its factual and logical thinking about reproduction, we can definitely say we have handed our fate to ignorant, mentally deficient fascists.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

But they all went to the right schools and are properly credentialed, so they must be respected!

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Ask a "conservative" Supreme Court Justice, "But... what if we just SHOOT the fetus?" and watch them melt down like the android in that one episode of Star Trek: "Abortion bad... but Guns good... but Abortion bad..."

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I once had the misfortune of staying the weekend in the farmhouse belonging to Allen Quist, perennial also-ran for Minnesota Congress and fundamentalist loony tune. In my defense, his daughter was married to one of my cohort at Princeton and was best friends with my ex-wife. Allen was running for Congress at the time and so we saw very little of him, but during my one moment of exposure to him (at the whitest & least-seasoned weenie roast I've attended) we noted there were a huge number of barn kittens running all around the farmyard (probably 25 or more) & he said "Yeah it's time to clean them out -- I'm going to shoot each one of them in the head." My wife and I being very polite but also animal lovers quietly suggested that he get the barn cat fixed that gave birth to all of them and he replied "Why spend the money? She's just a barn cat."

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When I tell folks there's "mean" and "country mean" people don't get it:

it's the callousness of someone who holds a life (a cat, a pig, a slave) in their power and can abuse them because they feel like it: because it makes them feel powerful.

Like Holmes tell Watson in "the Copper Beeches", isolated country folks can get away with...murder.

I've heard folks defend slavery saying "well, no one would abuse a valuable slave, would they?"

If they thought it expedient to torture or murder someone to keep the others in line, hell yeah they would. And did.

I've seen (and probably told this story) a rich country fuck beating a valuable, "$20000" hunting dog almost to death (we had to stop him) because he was drunk and pissed off. He'd get arrested for beating his wife, who didn't press charges after a big enough settlement.

If they feel that way about animals they will feel this way about humans and treat them accordingly.

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Absolutely yes -- and this is a perfect analogy for this chud's (and all Chridstofascists') perspective on reproduction. Avoid the practical easy prevention -- take pleasure in culling the product violently

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The product that you don’t intend to keep around for cheap labor (or slavery) of course!

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The ‘Rona’s doing an OK job culling those who’ve earned it.

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"When I tell folks there's "mean" and "country mean" people don't get it"

Oh, I get it. And have observed it.

Ignorant motherfuckers who live up in the countryside used to be called 'villains' for a reason - they're not very socialized. In our upside down shithole country they're the salt of the earth I guess.

Jesus.

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isolated country folks can get away with...murder.

just ask Ed Gein

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I figure that by the end of this week, the Crumbleys will be lauded as conservative martyrs and heroes. How could they NOT be? They're absolute paragons of conservative parenting. Especially the part about enabling their kid's school shooting, then abandoning him to save their own hides. Now THAT'S some solid family values!

There's a really dark part of me that wonders if these Parents of the Year thought that news stories of their child's shooting spree would include the line "before turning the gun on himself."

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Nah, we're at least two years away from the parents of school shooters being hailed as Second-Amendment heroes, and four years away from the school shooters themselves being celebrated. Like all pioneers, the poor Crumbleys must suffer for being just a little too soon.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Gotta say I have issues with this post; more anon.

But this, I loved:

"JENNIFER: They arrest him, then they try to arrest us.

"JAMES: For what?

"JENNIFER: For what?

"JAMES: For raising him the way your viewers would."

But I have just smallest amount of sympathy for the parents here. Raising a troubled teen is hard as fuck.

That said, apparently they had sufficient clues even with a somewhat withdrawn kid that there was something wrong. And it takes a shit ton of parental negligence to buy such a child a fucking high power handgun and a shit ton of ammo and to encourage him to enjoy his passion. And let's not get into the speculation of what if the parents waited til Xmas to give the kid his Xmas gift.

Awful, awful people -- soon to be conservative martyrs and MAGA heroes.

Which, when you think about it too much, says a lot about the state of the nation.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Having been through some troubled teenaged boy years myself, I have absolutely no sympathy for these people (and Rittenhouse's mother), just a shit ton of outrage. The Crumbleys are trash: DUIs, rubber checks, and now this. I only hope they get punished severely enough that red America's other asshole parents take notice and modify their behavior.

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Objection, assumes self-awareness not in evidence.

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They call it "WHITE-collar crime" for a reason

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Yeah -- I imagine the convo b4 last Xmess went something like this:

KID: I need protection. The blahs are always picking on me.

MOM: We know the school system just coddles them.

PAW: A Real Man protects himself. Would you like a howitzer for Xmas?

KID: Something that fit in my backpack would be better.

PAW: If you insist. We'll save the other for your graduation...

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Those who need to learn likely see this as a attack on their inalienable right to handle firearms irresponsibly. So nope, they’re won’t learn shit. Or will learn shit if you know what I mean.

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Unlike Adam Lanza, this bairn didn't shoot his parents first. Otherwise, next verse same as the first. "Here, honey, have fun with this deadly machine!"

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My recollection is that the guns were accessible to Lanza. This gun and ammo were given to the little Crumbley.

An irrelevant distinction…

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His mother gave him a check for a .32 caliber semi-automatic for Christmas. He hadn't bought it yet probably because he didn't like leaving the house. He had access to all of mom's arsenal because she frequently took him to shooting ranges for fun.

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Seems to me that "The Sandy Hook shooting was faked" should be accompanied by "Adam Lanza was framed!" But you hear the first one and not the second. Why? Did they look at Adam and decide he wasn't martyr material?

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Because being a martyr implies he actually did the thing.

It does seem weird tho, bc we all know that RWNJ propaganda doesn't usually require logical consistency...

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Not necessarily, poor Adam was at home playing video games when the Deep State broke into his house, put a bullet in him and then dropped the body at the scene of the crime-that-wasn't-a-crime. Ah, shit, I'm no good at this.

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It's nice when parents have so much in common with their kids.

The family in the Christmas photo - Mom and Dad are MIT graduates who made serious bank the the computer business. Dad is now a house rep from Kentucky. They all seem to be bugfuck crazy.

Ain't that America!

Great article. Funny, scary probably mostly true.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Crumbley Family Christmas, worst Hallmark Special EVER.

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Title: "Fruit Cake's Not Crumbley"

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Crumbleys" sound like a sitcom family.

" Crumbleys-

Meet the Crumbleys.

They're a weapons

loving family."

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"You'll stare/At them dumbly/As they give their kid a new aught-3."

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"So he -

Can go on a killing spree!"

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"You'll see

It's to keep the nation free.

When you're

With the Crumbleys

Have a Yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A MAGA-true time

We'll have a not-gay old time!"

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"We'll have a gay old time [but not in that abominable new-fangled way that was not the predominant usage in the 1960s but has come to ruin that great old woooooooord]"

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author

It even scans.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Only in America.

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America! Fuck yeah!

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I don't understand why they didn't head for Idaho.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

And then run for Governor.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

gas is very expensive and Canada much closer

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Thanks a lot, Biden!

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

The idea that any parent would buy a 9mm semi-automatic handgun that's used by police forces around the world for a 15 year-old kid, whether crazy and withdrawn or a perfectly sane Eagle Scout, is beyond nuts. I grew up in scary NYC. As a teenager, I had friends and acquaintances from many different worlds -- super-straights to hippie potheads to outright criminals -- and I never saw a handgun that wasn't on a cop's hip. I will never understand Heartland™ America's gun lunacy ever, and parents like Adam Lanza's mother, Kyle Rittenhouse's mother, and these two fucking specimens defy all reason. What the fuck is wrong with this country, besides almost everything?

I dread the what the fascist SC's future gun decision will do to New York.

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A 9mm handgun that costs around $1700 (well, in 1996, when I was in the market), twice as much as a perfectly useful Smith & Wesson

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

I did an online search for the going price. Less than half your number. And Pops Crumby got a Black Friday deal.

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Guns are the nicest thing most of these people will ever own. They will never own a

well made hand tool or a really good frying pan. Furniture that's not pressboard crap or clothes that don't fall apart in a week. Shoes that last longer than a month. A car with a working air conditioner. Eyeglasses that come from the Eye Doctor and not from a display next to the checkout at dollar general.

Even the really cheap guns are reasonably well-made. They tend to blow up if they aren't. Guns are fun as fuck too. Skeet shooting is a blast. Just target shooting is great. That - kick- is exciting. You feel powerful. Working poor don't often feel powerful. And it's an expense they can justify(protect mah family!) Can't do that with the latest Xbox.

There's so many Guns that people are really attached to- I don't know if we'll ever unshit that particular bed.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

What about their F-150?

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They mostly drive Dodge Ram trucks. Somebody told me that stood for Rusty Ass

Mother-(Shut your mouth! I'm just talkin' 'bout Rams!)

I had a guy tell me his brother borrowed his F-150 and sold the tailgate so he could buy some oxy.

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Dec 7, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Hey! I drive an F150: a ‘95 4x4 with -150k miles. I’m going to sell it because it’s a gas hog: and start driving Dad’s 2010 Honda Accord w/50k miles as soon as my bastard (a statement on his character, not his legitimacy) sibling fills out the paperwork transferring it to me.

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I drive an Element with 288k on it. I've had it for17 years. When it finally dies I plan on stating home.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, "I blame the parents" is my default too.

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The story you linked about the discovered drawings is a classic case of a counselling system failing. Not only are they extremely over-extended these days, but the blinders of ableis signm & white blindness are in full force, at least from what I can see from this far away. So first, white kid -- must be just playing, while a Black kid accidentally brings a plastic picnic knife, expelled.

But we need the school shooter to be a raving lunatic so badly that we overlook the most dangerous signs. I remember this from my cop days -- if someone's set on doing harm to you, they're calm, there's no mental conflict, they're biding their time, waiting for you to let their guard down. Why would this kid need to be jumping up & down on his desk when he knew the school counsellor couldn't stop him & he already had made up his mind?

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Sorry, that was supposed to read "ableism"

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You were a cop? Well, that explains a lot of your cynicism.

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Some may call it cynicism -- I prefer to think of it has having my blinders removed & sick of bougie bullshit.

I was asking somebody a few posts ago what a "genuine white supremacist" looks like. I know for a fact, from years of male fide complaints & alarmist statements & bad statutes & uneven enforcement, that white supremacy looks just like white society -- a way most white folks see as invisible, morally neutral, factually objective, & absolutely "natural" to them. They're the ones who give cover to the bad actors & the militia, they're the ones who say "I know my heart x friend of mine could not be racist," who only welcome POC if they don't seem too exotic or dangerous, and who pass out on the fainting couch when one points out that their beliefs, if not actions or statements, are based in white supremacy. Both Malcolm & Rev King pointed those are the most pervasive & therefore the most dangerous form of white supremacist around. Because they benefit from the system & guard its frontiers, forgive it & forget they're totally a part of it.

So yeah I guess "cynical" is how one might describe it...

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Good point. What you just said is less cynical than truthful.

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The truth hurts, but it hurts the false worse

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

"I was asking somebody a few posts ago what a "genuine white supremacist" looks like."

That somebody was me, but I lost the link before I could answer...so here's my thoughts about that.

I see your point about the vast self-whitewashing sect being perhaps the worst of the lot (if no other reason than simple numbers), but I have a different take. The common racists I experienced did not really express it in particular, and maybe didn't think about it much (who knows), but the "real" ones (the truly dangerous ones) were a set apart. By their words and actions they illuminated (nay, spotlighted) themselves as not just feeling superior to melanin-enhanced folks, but also to anyone else they felt is inferior (physically, intellectually, philosophically) to them. Racist yes, but moreso simply supremacists. It’s their defining characteristic – probably narcissistic (IANAA), maybe worse. They oozed malice and projected absolute authority, no matter how unearned. And they were often in positions to wield that authority.

BTW, I too was a peace officer – a park ranger – for a few years. Worked in a hotbed of social rest. Even there the cops I occasionally worked with were mostly pretty racist and didn’t care who among their colleagues knew.

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Cool that you were a PO -- respect to park rangers. They have to often intervene in dangerous situations far from backup & often outnumbered by people who don't think they're legit cops. Not a safe job at all. "Hotbed of social rest" is a witty turn of phrase -- definitely colonizing that.

Yes it was you, Bern. Was actually trying _not_ to call you out, but thanks stepping forward anyways, sir.

Your "different take" is just incomplete, theoretically & politically -- & out of step with scholars & activists who study (& are often affected by the issues). It's not informed by current thinking, but sketchy anecdotal evidence & "feelings." That you have a contrary opinion is all well & good -- but your "take" is not that "different" than most people associated with white identity. It's actually bog-standard, average, par for the course. And that's why it's problematic.

But the best part is that it actually _performs_ the activity I pointed out as the most dangerous form of white supremacy -- denying it that radiates out of the culture itself, & imbricates & enfolds every member of society (whether white or not, in or out). That white supremacy cannot see itself, forgets its own origins, & perpetuates itself through an infinite series of excuses & forgivenesses to other white people. It's not "ignorance" per se, but a learned response: Forget this & refuse to see it or you will be punished. Your statement pathologizes these behaviors & attitudes into simple "narcissism" [which is but a symptom -- it's not WHY at all]). So now I see why you were so tender about scare quotes. Because tthat attitude needs to find degrees of white supremacy so it can displace the "lab-grade" WS onto "others" (who are not "us," so go pay attention to them & go away) & avoid doing the work. These are conditioned attitudes, they can be unlearned with effort.

[Also, brief digression could be made about how ableism, stigmas against mental illness & neurodivergence, misogyny, queerphobia, & political intolerance all also derive from white supremacy. The language of these various hatreds become very quickly racialized or seen as "betrayal" of a "Classical" or "Aryan" ideal of virtuous, patriarchal, baby-making masculine bodies. Just look at who the Nazis were also interested in exterminating. So there's not many supremacies at play here -- there's just one with many heads. Also plenty of research that discusses this.]

That last statement is inaccurate as well: one doesn't need the actual presence of BIPOC folks to actually be "racist" -- and it can really thrive in those spaces bc there's no check on its growth & any entry of those BIPOC folks can be seen as an "invasion." And like you said there's no risk in expressing those beliefs to others.

I mean, I could go on about the history of the parks system & outdoor spaces in the USA in general as structurally unwelcoming to persons of color, but I suspect I'd typing all day to an audience that's not really interested.

Also this whole thing is way too long. I'm actually not interested in convincing you of anything. You'll "take it under advisement" as before, because that's what doods say to save face. But you made a point a few posts back to get loud & wrong in my face, about a subject I'm passionate about. And when I insisted that you treat me a certain way, you pretended you didn't hear anything, which is a dick move.

The "good ol boy" aspect of white culture demands I (but all of us in that identity group) give permission for it to breathe & spread in order to be polite, or "stan our bros," or not make waves. But fuck it — I'm tired of it.

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

In case any of you thought I was too harsh by labeling the Crumbleys "trash:"

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/12/6/2067820/--He-was-dangerous-and-they-gave-him-a-weapon-More-warning-signs-connected-to-Michigan-shooter

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Dec 6, 2021Liked by Roy Edroso

laughing at loud! "Gotcha" indeed!

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