Oh man, this movie’s reputation is so bad even people who don’t read movie reviews are aware of it. Yesterday afternoon there was some talk at my house of going to the movies in the evening and someone, checking movie times on their phone, innocently mentioned CATS as a possibility. The chorus of horrified “NOOOOs” that followed was deafening.
Thanks for taking one for the team and reporting back, Roy.
Never saw it on Broadway, have no interest in seeing the movie. But I never sensed it had a compelling story and it’s one hit is a ballad — two negatives for me in a movie musical.
But this is what we did see:
Star Wars because I’m still a nerd who needs closure from the franchise that always made it up as it went. And it did not suck! Star Wars either sucks, doesn’t suck or is Empire, so not suck is pretty OK.
Knives Out: Delightful. A joy. Caveat: I enjoyed Daniel Craig doing comedy with a joke southern accent. Bonus: The female lead is in the next Bond so you can see the two of them play off each albeit in, you know, radically different characters.
What a WONDERFUL post-Christmas present. I was starting to get jaded watching "Heaven's Gate" for the umpteenth time, but now I can start watching "Cats" instead. Thanks for the heads-up, Roy. By the way, may 2020 be better for all than 2019, but worse than 2021.
I used to have a cassette from a subscription service selling cheap classical cassettes of Eliot reading “Old Possum’s Practical Book of Cats”, with a certain verve and flair: that moralizing friend of Ezra Pound and Converted Anglo Catholic was one of the “pedantic boring madmen,/ who raise their fashionable cry/ that every farthing of the cost/ shall be paid” Auden wrote about. One imagines him rolling his eyes in the afterlife...
Commercials for the Broadway show stated popping up on TV in the '70s. There were costumes, dry ice and a hydraulic flying manhole cover. The first thing that occurred to me was this: Someone came home from a KISS concert and made a bunch of notes. The next morning he called his agent. "I might have something! Just hear me out and try not to laugh..."
After you had the guts to go and see that movie, and then to write a review about it, I guess that nobody can call you a pussy about it. Ha ha ha. Couldn't resist.
"Magical Mister Mistoffelees" is also a good song. At least it was for two minutes or so; apparently it's been stretched to six minutes in the movie, God knows how.
I admit I'm biased, since the three words that automatically connote musical dreck to me are Andrew, Lloyd, and Webber. (He's probably not the first, but I also blame him for the oddly pretentious triple-name trend among Broadway composers -- I saw an American Theater Wing composer panel where they addressed each other as "Michael John" and "Jason Robert" like so many Joe Bobs and Billy Rays at the Grand Old Opry.) No amount of CGI in the world could make up for the inherent shitness of the music, IMHO.
This seems to be in tune with our times. Can we make it worse? Louder, more bombastic and so far from the original as to be unrecognizable. I hope Archy and Mehitabel can stay way off the radar of these folks.
Yes. This. Thank you. I remember being peeved that they gutted the interior of the Winter Garden for an Andrew Fucking Lloyd Fucking Webber show, and bitterly offended that they did it for this shitty Hallmark card set to music. I saw pretty much everything Broadway had to offer in the 80s, good and bad (thank you TKTS booth), but avoided CATS now and forever.
Maybe the selection plot was created because "A Chorus Line" had already run for so long.
I avoided it like the plague: nothing could compare favourably or equally with the original, especially as illustrated by Gorey (and, yes, purchased at the Gotham Book Mart after a day's first-generation-immigrant child labour).
Now if Craig Ferguson were in it instead of James Corden, that would be something. (He has a musical theatre background, and used to kiss Anthony Stewart Head eight times a week.)
Oh man, this movie’s reputation is so bad even people who don’t read movie reviews are aware of it. Yesterday afternoon there was some talk at my house of going to the movies in the evening and someone, checking movie times on their phone, innocently mentioned CATS as a possibility. The chorus of horrified “NOOOOs” that followed was deafening.
Thanks for taking one for the team and reporting back, Roy.
"-turbo-charged rotoscope through which only glimpses of human reality are visible. "
Thats some good ass film criticing right there!
Kudos!
The whole point of the stage show was always the costumes. I've been reading the same reviews most of my life -
Stupid story, bad music(except for that one song) but my oh my those costumes !
Let's finally film it without costumes!
Genius right there.
I bet Taylor Swift as a cat is gonna cause a fuckton of adolescent confusion .
Never saw it on Broadway, have no interest in seeing the movie. But I never sensed it had a compelling story and it’s one hit is a ballad — two negatives for me in a movie musical.
But this is what we did see:
Star Wars because I’m still a nerd who needs closure from the franchise that always made it up as it went. And it did not suck! Star Wars either sucks, doesn’t suck or is Empire, so not suck is pretty OK.
Knives Out: Delightful. A joy. Caveat: I enjoyed Daniel Craig doing comedy with a joke southern accent. Bonus: The female lead is in the next Bond so you can see the two of them play off each albeit in, you know, radically different characters.
What I love about any and all of your arts criticism, Roy, is that it is consistently and reliably intelligent.
What a WONDERFUL post-Christmas present. I was starting to get jaded watching "Heaven's Gate" for the umpteenth time, but now I can start watching "Cats" instead. Thanks for the heads-up, Roy. By the way, may 2020 be better for all than 2019, but worse than 2021.
I used to have a cassette from a subscription service selling cheap classical cassettes of Eliot reading “Old Possum’s Practical Book of Cats”, with a certain verve and flair: that moralizing friend of Ezra Pound and Converted Anglo Catholic was one of the “pedantic boring madmen,/ who raise their fashionable cry/ that every farthing of the cost/ shall be paid” Auden wrote about. One imagines him rolling his eyes in the afterlife...
Commercials for the Broadway show stated popping up on TV in the '70s. There were costumes, dry ice and a hydraulic flying manhole cover. The first thing that occurred to me was this: Someone came home from a KISS concert and made a bunch of notes. The next morning he called his agent. "I might have something! Just hear me out and try not to laugh..."
After you had the guts to go and see that movie, and then to write a review about it, I guess that nobody can call you a pussy about it. Ha ha ha. Couldn't resist.
"Magical Mister Mistoffelees" is also a good song. At least it was for two minutes or so; apparently it's been stretched to six minutes in the movie, God knows how.
I admit I'm biased, since the three words that automatically connote musical dreck to me are Andrew, Lloyd, and Webber. (He's probably not the first, but I also blame him for the oddly pretentious triple-name trend among Broadway composers -- I saw an American Theater Wing composer panel where they addressed each other as "Michael John" and "Jason Robert" like so many Joe Bobs and Billy Rays at the Grand Old Opry.) No amount of CGI in the world could make up for the inherent shitness of the music, IMHO.
This seems to be in tune with our times. Can we make it worse? Louder, more bombastic and so far from the original as to be unrecognizable. I hope Archy and Mehitabel can stay way off the radar of these folks.
"Cats the musical itself is garbage."
Yes. This. Thank you. I remember being peeved that they gutted the interior of the Winter Garden for an Andrew Fucking Lloyd Fucking Webber show, and bitterly offended that they did it for this shitty Hallmark card set to music. I saw pretty much everything Broadway had to offer in the 80s, good and bad (thank you TKTS booth), but avoided CATS now and forever.
Sorry, won't be seeing as I am too much of a barbarian and would have to be cataleptic to appreciate.
If they put “Cats” on MST3000, I might watch it. Until then (or Clevenger tackles it on Slumgullion), I’ll take your review as the final word.
Maybe the selection plot was created because "A Chorus Line" had already run for so long.
I avoided it like the plague: nothing could compare favourably or equally with the original, especially as illustrated by Gorey (and, yes, purchased at the Gotham Book Mart after a day's first-generation-immigrant child labour).
Now if Craig Ferguson were in it instead of James Corden, that would be something. (He has a musical theatre background, and used to kiss Anthony Stewart Head eight times a week.)