Doing the People's Business

The 188th is off to a flying start

Mr. JORDAN. Mr. Speaker, I yield 1 minute to the distinguished gentlewoman from Georgia, Ms. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Ms. GREENE. Thank you, Mr. Speaker. I begin by calling to your attention once more that the Congressional Record has me in there as “Ms. Greene,” not Miss Greene as I have repeatedly asked them to change it to. Besides the lack of courtesy this shows me and the great state of Georgia, this is part of a decades-long campaign started by Antonio Gramsci and George Soros way back in the permissive Sixties to brainwash people into thinking marriage is not important enough for ladies to get a title for it, and that’s why there is so much divorce and transsexuals today.

I was proud to be called Mrs. Greene when I was married, and when God willing I find Mr. Right Again I will be proud to be called Mrs. whoever that is. Meantime I choose the title that unmarried women had for centuries before this politically correct nonsense came in and jumbled everything up. So to the fake news organization that puts out its bias version of the proceedings of this Congress, I say again, you can “miss” me with that “Ms.,” and also my lawyer will be serving you with papers in a hot minute and see if he don’t.

Mr. Chairman, I am here to call the attention of the House to another menace to our way of life, but one so vast and spreaded-around that there ought to be a subcommittee set up to investigate it or at least some hearings. I have brought this around to several committee chairs but they don’t show any interest, or act like they do but then don’t do nothin’ about it. So I’m putting it out there so the world can see that at least one member of this body know what’s going on and maybe we can get some action on it.

I propose an investigation of a group of super-villains, much like the super-villains you see in the movies fighting the Avengers or the X-Men, like the Suicide Squad or the Hellfire Club. But where we know the names of the super-villains in the movies, and sometimes they even get movies of their own, and they’re pretty good so you can’t stay mad at them, these real-life super-villains are careful to hide their identities because they know folks would rise up against them if they knew who they were.

Mr. Chairman, I’m talking about the Freemasons. They’ve been working against this country since days of old when knights were bold. And in their time they even tricked some good men like George Washington into wearing the apron and spillin’ cement all over and saying spells and incantations. But all that mumbo-jumbo they get up to in their secret ceremonies, that’s harmless, it’s nothin’ compared to what they’re doing to the country behind the scenes with their influence and their power.

You heard about how Sleepy Joe Biden, who we are going to impeach, was going to take our gas stoves away from us afore we stopped him. We all know Biden is too weak and senile to blow his nose without being told to do it by Antifa or Black Lives Matter or Bilderberg or what-not. Well, I have learned that the plot to steal our gas stoves came straight from the Masons. It’s true. I got a feller, smart as a pistol even if he doesn’t have a degree, who got all these documents at a yard sale. See, they didn’t know what they had but he spotted ‘em and got ‘em for a song. And he’s been reading me out translations from this secret language the Masons write back and forth in, and you know what he found? These Masons weren’t planning to stop with the gas stoves. Oh, no. They were fixin’ to take our gas grills. Natural gas and propane. Come Fourth of July we’d be sitting around cookin’ our hot dogs and hamburgers with wood fire or charcoal briquettes like savages.

Near as this fella can figure it, the Masons wanted everybody to have to switch to brick ovens like you get pizza from sometimes, because they have a corner on things made out of bricks. But they already have plenty of money, billions and trillions of dollars, and there’s plenty they got their hooks into that have nothing to do with bricks, stuff that turns our kids gay and censors our social media and steals our elections. But I’ve said too much already. This is why we need a committee and if we don’t get one I’ll go out in the street with a bullhorn and let people know this House ain’t nothing but a herd of RINOs. You owe me, Kevin!