162 Comments
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Jan 20, 2023
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! Good heavens! Well, thanks!

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Hearted for the placement of that initial '!'

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Where’ya bin?

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bin laden...you?

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"He lies! He misbehaves! It embarrasses the angels!"

Yeah...well...I can imagine, given the entirety of human history and all, the angels'll get over it...

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followed by my reading of "stable, mature — normal"

as

stable, manure – normal

Because of course I see 'manure' immediately after I see 'stable'. And I refuse to unsee it, which may be Roy's intention with that crafty phrase.

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Ah, jeez – "being “high” and “irregular” — what the hell does that even mean? Is Noonan still mad there are boner pill ads on TV?"

Nah, man – it's those righteous scolds insisting we ingest more fiber.

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Speaking of irregularity, my own Inner Noonan is triggered by an ad with a peppy tune featuring the words "pushed through a pineapple or two". My God, what has happened to The Culchah that such a thing could be allowed on national TV? (well, basic cable, but you get the idea.) But that is one damn catchy tune, alright.

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Constipatory Journalism, courtesy Peggy Noonan

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Well, she does crap out a column on the regular.

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Excuse me, "pushes out a pineapple."

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Her and those fucking poop bears.

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Have I mentioned recently how much I hate those poop bears? 'Cause I fucking HATE those poop bears.

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I think it's because Americans are gulping edibles and smoking legal pot so OF COURSE everything's all higgeldy-piggeldy! It's Reefer Madness Nation! Half of us are playing the piano really fast while the other half giggles and takes off their clothes!

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I think the potential is there. We need to make a real effort to get all the rage addicted Meema's and Papaws down to the dispensary quick and put a damper on a that Fox News induced anger.

I think it's funny we have a doctor prescribed medicine called "Purple Sour Hindu Kush."

That's real progress!

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"Half of us are playing the piano really fast..."

I know, but...play FASTER.

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Why, there's even RACE MIXIN' goin' on!

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I can take MY clothes off WITHOUT giggling, and often do.

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I can NEVER take my clothes off without giggling — not necessarily by myself.

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Aw, poop.

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Angels don't have genitals, I imagine they don't embarrass easily...

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Also, biblical stories of angels had them as terrifying supernatural beings, not rosy-cheeked cherubs or fluffy Victorian winged ladies. If La Noonan met one of the angels of the apocalypse, or the one driving Adam & Eve out of Eden, she’d crap her pants, not put down her highball and embrace them in a warm hug.

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"Better angels of our nature" does suggest there are some worse angels out there.

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I'd love to see her confronted by an orphanim, with the wheels full of eyes, intoning "BE NOT AFRAID".

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I miss Alan Rickman.

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'An angel has no memory.'—Pygar, "Barbarella" (1968est)

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Neither do Americans!

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I didn't know the outcome of the Hill mess. Damn that is shitty.

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Yeah. Pretty grim.

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Can anyone explain who was harmed by Hill's behavior? As opposed to, for example, cheating a disabled vet out of funds raised for his dog's cancer treatment?

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The thing about Santos is he's just like Trump in one critically (and when I say that I could equally mean 'clinically') important way: they are both sick. That's why I feel bad joking about them. The sickness is deep, and permanent (we know in Trump's case) and spectacularly toxic. So I'm dusting off my pity once again and somehow gonna make certain they know I don't hate them but I do indeed feel everso sorry for them.

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And yet despite their pathologies, enough voters manage to elect them.

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Which is why *I* don't feel sorry for them!

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Fair enough. Agree to disagree.

I'm good widdit, no matter how wrong you are, Boss.

Now, about that new compensation package...?

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I’m with you, Roy. To the extent it’s appropriate to equate willful lying to being ill, it’s like an infectious patient knowingly spreading germs to everyone they meet. Oh, hey, when it comes to COVID that’s exactly what MAGAs did! Let’s hear it consistency, the hobgoblin of little minds.

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I'm nothing if not consistent, Doc!

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I do admire your sympathy with these birds, if it's sincere (or even if it's not). It's very Christian -- especially given that its beneficiaries, being nominally Christian, would never reciprocate.

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Well, to be fair, their reciprocitizer's been broke fer, like, 20 years, an' you can't get parts...

And hearty is the laugh of me when accused of being christian-like...I only sat thru church for the music, and even that got old by the time I was 10.

Joiner am I not.

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I always say, there are two kinds of mental illness. One of them will get you locked up even if you haven't harmed anybody. The other one gets you off the hook no matter how many people you've harmed.

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Damn, as we know, I’m all in with contempt. You know, that Old Testament thing about bad actors and bad acts being punished.

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We know – it's SOOO CUTE!

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By their pathologies shall ye know them, scorn them, rent their garments and defile their sheeps.

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Why would I want to rent anything Donald Trump has worn? Not even if I could sub-let one of his suit-jackets to a family of refugees would I want to rent any of his garments.

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Wait...that's genius!

Nevermind. Trump's probly already doing it.

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What's NOT to like?

We're talking about a class of mediocre skidmarks who have fudged, fibbed, & filibustered through life to achieve their caked-over version of the 'Murkin Drream (plus the women who depend on them). Trump & Devolder-Santos-Santos are their shining image.

And we're the only ones who seem to be able to smell the shittery...

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I stick with the likelihood that maybe enough voters have a clue.

Better: it seems that 2022 was a rejection of MAGA. But the House majority will likely spread the MAGA-revulsion to a revulsion of the entire party.

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A show of optimism! I like it, keep it up!

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Oops, went a little off brand.

So to have the full 360 view, a) I’m ready to be seen as a hopeless fool if we don’t do better in 2024 and b) as ever, the question remains just how democratic we really are on the national level.

So actually that optimism is a hope for bad triumphing over worse.

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Whew – that was close!

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Delusional is not necessarily sick.

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How’s that?

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Delusions can be defenses against a broken world. Maybe not terribly effective, but not illness.

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Gotta disagree. It’s avoiding reality instead of dealing with it. Textbook defective response.

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I'll defer, but not before mentioning I'm drifting toward a reckoning between/among rationality and philosophy. Coping strategies that read as irrational may in fact extend the collective life of our species. What could be more effective rationality-wise than that?

I could imagine a response along the lines of "Yeah, but if humanity followed the prescribed textbook effective response we might well be much further along in our evolution", so maybe* there's that...

*I have no idea.

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I'd be more willing to view it as a sickness if it wasn't so perfectly functional for them. Like being sick is supposed to make you *less* successful, right? You lose your job because you keep calling in sick, that sort of thing?

A while back there was a book out about how so many CEO's perfectly fit the profile of "psychopath." Which is true, but I'd reserve the diagnosis of "sick" for a society they richly rewards such people, not for the people themselves.

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There’s sick and functional, then there’s sick and non-functional. If they are indeed sick, Santos and Trump are at least moderately functional.

And sick people more often than not admit their illness and seek treatment rather than go untreated and cause damage to themselves, their families and friends, and in the case of the subject case, to the nation’s people and its polity. I feel no more pity for them than I do for a drunk driver who causes the death of innocent people whom he happened to crash into. That is to say, none.

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Fair enough tho my "pity" and your "pity" might not match Venn-wise. Mine tends to lean toward the exaggerated "bless your heart" end of the spectrum...

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I've been thinking about George Santos lately. Maybe we should give him a break. Think of how traumatic it must have been to have his mother die over and over in so many different ways and places.

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True, and let's not forget a promising volleyball career cut short when he required double knee replacement surgery. Why God, must you torment poor George so? Check his resume, and you'll find he's held EVERY job, including Job himself.

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but he was in a film made by Stephen Spillberg

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Hearted for the spilling.

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That was a direct quote from Santos' old Wikipedia page, I think

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So, not a total loss then...

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Before this point -- "It happens to be my feeling, my observation that the wilder America becomes, the more it wants its political class to be stable, mature — normal." --i was reading and then the mind started wondering and I was only parsing when I tripped on that line.

Prior to that, I briefly pondered all the focus on Santos -- the party's exactly that crazy at best, Santos having lost as a normal candidate in 2020 went all in being a Trumpy bullshit artiste (aided a great deal, as I'm wont to say, by DCCC gross incompetence), and he's not leaving office til he's convicted or voted out because being a modern Republican means never doing the right thing. To use Pegs' example; if Hill was a Republican, anyone with a clue think she'd have resigned? Maayyybe if she was a attacked with enough misogynistic attacks. Maybe.

Too, there's the question of just how many people actually read the Journal's opinion pages. Does the section matter?

As for that hanging question there, Pegs is approximately 10,000% dead wrong as DeathSantis and the House clearly prove, just to toss up the two examples coming quickest to aged mind.

I mean, of what relevance, much other than a subject for Roy to riff, is Noonan, the Journal opinion section, etc.?

Meanwhile, in another great moment in conservative media, there's these bonbons:

https://abovethelaw.com/2023/01/stable-genius-mistakes-e-jean-carroll-for-his-wife/

https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2023/01/the-big-con

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"...it wants its political class to be stable, mature — normal."

Sure, that's why the Democrats did mostly OK in the midterms. Sorry Peg, that is what you were getting at, wasn't it?

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Peg and the other editorial staff write for the 1% who actually have influence with “our” government.

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You’re making an assumption. None of the people I’ve known who actually read the bullshit conform to your description.

That said, if you’ve any documentation of any numbers, demographic breakdowns, etc…

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Fair. She also writes for the people who comment on NYTimes articles, which one of our fellow REBID subscribers astutely described as “very comfortable people who wish everyone would quiet down.”

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To be clear, you’re still assuming.

I’d say on rare occasions, it’s what Jill Abramson describes as a circle jerk. See, https://www.cjr.org/the_media_today/journalism-davos-problem.php?mc_cid=40dc80b679&mc_eid=17492d08a2

The rest of the time, what for who and how many?

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I'm of the opinion that the Santos' debacle is being milked by the GOP as cover for the real nasty beeswax they're plotting.

Because they know that the mainstream media will be happy to sputter uselessly about unfair & hypocritical it all is. And he can just make his little "white power" signs & squat on the seat. You can't shame someone to resign who has no shame...

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No kidding.

The mainstream loves to focus on the pathologies at the expense of the policies as a result of which, for the GOP’s benefit, much distraction occurs.

As my rabbi, Eric Alterman, notes in his column this week, the Republicans in the House are fully all in lockstep, the insane with the moderate. Meanwhile, the media are still pumping the story that there’s some presumably substantive schism.

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Always pump the idea of a horse race, a chance of discourse & comity — and most importantly, that there's at least a bare minimum of GOP interest in democracy...

The altenative is "AUUUUUUUUUGH, THIS PLANE IS OBVIOUSLY CRAAAAASHING!!!!!"

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😂

The cover the full spectrum from bullshit to horseshit.

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You forgot chickenshit!

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Horse race to distract from the rat race. The GOP is nothing but Grievance and Ambition.

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Oh, no, the priority for the GOP is shrink government while extracting as much as possible from the state and from workers for further enrichment of their special interests. Everything else is lines of bullshit to motivate the base.

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the insane with the moderate

Eric is wrong here as there are no Republican moderates, so it should be the insane and the even less sane

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The moderates have already had opportunities to show their moderates. None have, ergo, either there are none or being a moderate is political suicide with the base — same thing in effect, of course.

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My brother useta say "moderation is for priests", which, yeah, no. But I get the idea. Thankfully, there are no priests in politics...

This just in: What's that you say? Biden's planning to revoke their tax exemption? Why, that's TREASON!

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Love this whole takedown of Peggy. But the reason I am commenting today is the word 'fraudster'. An ex-pat who lives in Canada now, I heard Justin Trudeau address conservative talking points about how some people might have taken COVID money (from Canada) illegally. He referred to such people taking money when they should not as 'fraudsters.' I found this endearing, cute, and very Canadian. I explained to a neighbor from Europe (now living in Canada) the difference between English in 'Merica and English in Canadia. Fraudster was my big-time example. Now, reading this treatise on Peggy Noonan and her fainting couch, I am to learn that fraudster is also being used in the US? Shit. Who said it first??

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Grammarphobia sez: "The earliest citation in the Oxford English Dictionary is from a 1975 issue of the Financial Times, though Merriam-Webster Unabridged dates the first known use of the term to 1960."

So British, most likely.

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It's in general circulation, but Trudeau's the first big elected I've heard using it, though it sounds perfect for Biden.

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Those fraudsters and their malarkey!

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Comedian Kathleen Madigan works in Canada and the UK a lot. She's from Missouri. She brought up the term fraudster recently on one of her pubcasts, which stopped me in my tracks. She too found the term hilarious, without any teeth. Like taking a pillow to a knife fight. I think she heard someone not in America using the term. This was right after my discussion with my European neighbor. Must be something in the ether. I'm sure Biden will start using it. Then your RoyEdroso stock will take off!

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Maybe then I’ll be able to make some $$$ off those bootleg alicublog NFTs I’ve got in my blockchain wallet! Score!

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It sounds to me very Herb Caen-y, but that's probly heartstrings of memory, striking a tender chord...

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"Were there really that many brittle, toffee-nosed upper-class self-announced “ladies” around who regarded all social phenomena as through a Margaret Dumont lorgnette?"

This is world class, solid gold stuff. The whole piece is. You do this 5 days a week 50 plus weeks a year for a fanatic and devoted, albeit too small fan base. If the quality varies, it's between "fantastic" and "OMFG this is the greatest thing ever".

Matt Tiabbi has two million substack followers.He's shoveling out the same tired Hunter Thompson retread shtick he has for the last 15 years -which is evidently the only thing he knows how to do.

That's just fucked up is all I'm saying.

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Once again you're dead on.

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Yeah, these are the gems strewn liberally throughout any given REBID issue. The world is poorer to the extent they are buried and clowns like Taibbi commands an army of idiots.

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which is evidently the only thing he knows how to do

Well, he also probably raped some underage Russian girls, so he knows how to do that

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Lorgnette. Lorgnette. Lorgnette... the word has lost all meaning. Seriously though, I yearn for the days when politics had an air of dignity, lo, aspiration to it (them? Hey it's early)... probably why my special area of study was the 18th century through the mid-twentieth. Yeah, there was always self-interest, greed, ego, power mongering, what-have-you, I'm not 'knave' (as Bugs Bunny would say), but Jesus take the wheel with these a**clowns.

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"Jesus take the wheel'

2 marks!

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I confess that random, quaint oldy-worldy idioms proliferate my speech at weird times, but damn they sure come in handy.

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Careful now – the Pegster might be lookin' to poach a couple a those...

Why, she's probly scouring this site thru her lorgnettes right now!

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"Jesus take the wheel and do a Thelma and Louise!"

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Love it, today's Vocabulary Word, be sure to write it down, it'll be on the pop quiz.

I googled, naturally, and got "The word lorgnette is derived from the French lorgner, to take a sidelong look at", which sounds like "side eye", something the kids say now, I believe. As demonstrated by Margaret Dumont, a lorgnette is what you use when you want to give someone the ol' side eye while looking straight at them.

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If you really want to do a deep dive into how The Kids Of Today are relating, see any number of Rupaul memes where they're saying 'I can't WAIT to see how this turns out' sarcastically, implying a car wreck on the horizon, as they raise their lorgnette to their flawlessly beat mug. #yoot

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Speaking of Kids of Today, we did an exercise in class, one of those Word Cloud things where they type into their phone and the words pop up in the screen in the front of the classroom, the question was: "If you could describe your past relationship with math in one word..." My favorite was "beef."

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Someone had a beef with math?

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Who doesn't?

#evenpresidentswith7millionfewervotes

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Excellent scholarship for a mathematician! And a sense of heightened scrutinyis conveyed by deploying those arcane spectacles, as in the side-eye. Bern, award SteveB 2 marks, please!

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2 marks by acclamation!

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Neither knave nor maroon may you be

As them, even Fudd can sure see

Their uneven keel.

So when Christ takes the wheel

Of the clown bus he does it for thee!

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Damn! Everybody trollin' for marks! 2 More!

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I dunno, are you still in the History biz? I bet with a little digging you could come up with a couple hundred pages for "Assclowns of U.S. History".

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REBID on Noonan on Santos: what a glorious Friday!

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"It happens to be my feeling, my observation" -- and this, dear Reader, is where I reach out and slap her if she is anywhere near slapping range. With the blessing of the angels.

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She only says that because "It is a truth universally acknowledged" was already taken.

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It is known.

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The Beowulf-poet would say "As we have heard in days gone by" -- same same.

I would argue without a jot less irony than Mlle Austen....

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Her fusty use of appositives should get her sent to the penalty box until she can write three sentences in the manner of Hemingway. Or at least Addison & Steele.

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Could just be an excuse to type "my" twice. Which she doesn't like as much as her two favorite words, "me" and "I" but it'll do.

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To quote Sinatra after the coda: "My my"...

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To quote MC Hammer after your quote: "My my my my..."

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Nailed it!

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David Addison (wasn't that the character Bruce Willis played in Moonlighting) and Remington Steele?

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Indeed. The shows had the same producer (at least at first). Coincidence?

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Nah, angels be shruggin'...

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Would a life spent in a Billy Baldwin -- the decorator, not Alec's brother -- outfitted pre-war classic six on the UES, pounding back the gin the latest Girl fetches, while perusing back issues of The Catholic Register, be considered regular?

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Getting back to your original ^^question^^:

Damn! That's a good question!

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"He will be used relentlessly by the Democrats, and the media, to make the Republican conference look like a cabal of fraudsters."

So true, just like Curly was used by movie directors to make the Three Stooges look like a buncha clowns.

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Curly was clearly a troubled man who needed our prayers not our laughter.

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And I know you say this more in sadness than in anger, despite the unfortunate consequences when you hired them to paint your house.

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Why Claire oughta...

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Hey, now...

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"He will be used relentlessly by the Democrats..." is watching Murc's Law in the hands of a real pro.

You might think our attention should be focused on the political party that enabled Santos to gain public office and then allows him to stay there, but no, it's the Democrats who are the lead actors in this bit of political drama, because the Democrats are ALWAYS the lead actors, the only ones who are ever guilty (or even capable) of committing an act of politics.

Like if you were running for Congress and did a lil' hit n' run while driving home (drunk) from a campaign fundraiser. Later, the cops catch up with you, but it's your opponent (a Democrat, natch) who deserves the blame for "exploiting this unfortunate incident for political gain."

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Only Democrats Have Agency, Continued

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And you know has ZERO agency? Republicans. Here's a CNN story about the phony gas stove "debate" which, according to CNN, "revealed just how opinionated we are about what fuels our kitchens." What's this "we" shit, White Man?

The rest is about a long-running debate among foodies about which is better, gas or electric, but I wonder why we're all talking about this NOW? Are these "controversies" actually manufactured, and if they are, by who? Ah, well, that's just an unsolvable mystery.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/18/opinions/gas-stove-debate-galarza-goldynia-ctrp/index.html

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And here's how you do it right, NPR (!) with a report that actually includes the sub-hed "Using outrage to score clicks and sell books" exposing an entire industry of right wing outrage-manufacturers. No, it's not just some "craze" that the whole population inexplicably got swept up in, like flagpole-sitting or eating Tide Pods.

https://www.npr.org/2023/01/21/1150397853/gas-stoves-became-part-of-the-culture-war-in-less-than-a-week-heres-why

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because the Democrats are ALWAYS the lead actors

only really when tragedy goes down. If something good happens that's because of Republicans

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I'm sticking with the deranged bag lady theme.

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It's a good look – suits you.

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Her writing is really odd. She seems to have a kind of presenility thing going on. Vaguely gesturing towards strawman ne'er do wells, she would call us all back, back to whatever vague idea of a better time of decent piety and suppressed impulses and what have you.

She seems like a closeted prude, not quite willing to come out and say, Oh, I know we are all naked under our clothes but let's not think about it!

Who thinks about it, exactly, when?

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Prudish pre-senility is a *kind* of writing style, I guess.

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Hearted for the what have you...

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"make the Republican conference look like a cabal of fraudsters"

You guys were shameful before he got here! #MST3K

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