Fa vs. Antifa

High-level bund meeting

[A televised White House meeting with cloth-draped tables, name cards, etc. TRUMP in the center seat, surrounded by KRISTI NOEM, MARCO RUBIO, KASH PATEL, and some lower functionaries.]

TRUMP: So like the other times, this is about antifa by the way, very bad, mucho bad hombres. The new city we hadda send troops to, to fix it up, this time it’s, Beverly Hills, and it’s sad what happened, used to be beautiful, Beverly Hills. But they got the antifa in there and it’s just a mess, boarded up windows, lotta smoke, gas. But we sent what, Kristi, a thousand, ten thousand troops, because it’s so precious to us, Beverly Hills.

NOEM: [Nodding] A significant number of federal officers.

TRUMP: Younger people, they wouldn’t know, but it was the crème de la crème Beverly Hills in those days. Swimmin’ pools, movie stars. The Beverly Hillbillies. That was back when the poor people were white, like the Beverly Hillbillies, and they knew how to look after themselves. Not like now. Before the drugs. Well, maybe Jethro. But all good people. That Miss Jane, though. Boy. Wow! She was something, wasn’t she.

[Does his malign baby voice.]

A real wacko. A wacko lesbo. Wacko lesbo.

[Back to his usual.]

You can see her with the blue hair and the nose ring like in Portland, which we cleaned up. And we’re gonna clean up Beverly Hills. Kash, you wanna tell them about the cleanup.

PATEL: The FBI has taken up a command post at Chateau Marmont and will be fanning out through the area, sir, doing reconnaissance with ICE, DHS, and Space Force agents, Mr. President, and blessed be your holy name.

TRUMP: How about that. The holy name thing, I don’t know, maybe, after, you know, when I’m gone. Of course when I’m gone you’ll be gone too, all of you.

[Takes on a dreamy tone.]

And it’s sad but it’s just what it is. Like I tell the, the little girls, it’ll be, just, I close my eyes. Close ‘em like I’m going to sleep. I don’t sleep. Never did. Work twenty-four-seventeen. But if I did, and I closed them, closed my eyes, then you all go away. Just like that. Like a dream, a bad dream, but then it’s over.

[Pause. NOEM and the others shoot each other looks. TRUMP picks an index card off the table.]

[With a little more pep] We’re gonna hear from, area man, on the internet , Joey… Joey something.

[This character, aka Joey Salad, stands up; he wears a grey uniform of some sort.]

[To SALAS] Oh, yeah, you’re the guy pisses in his mouth. Only now you’re dressed like whatshisname. Hitler. Which is good because Hitler, he had his problems with antifa. [To the cameras] Didn’t he. And he cleaned that up. Like we’re gonna clean it up. Can I say that? Like Hitler. These days you can’t say anything. But we’re gonna change it. OK, go ahead.

[SALAS starts to speak but is inaudible because he’s off-mic.]

OK, we can’t hear him, so sit down, it’s OK, Joey. You did your part.

[SALAS sits.]

OK. It’s getting late and I can feel my face, my face, starting to get soft and go like, I’m a baby again. But we have more cities, I’ll tell you later. Middlebury Vermont. Grover Corners. A little town they call… America. Gonna clean it all up. Then I can sleep, and we all, we can all go to sleep… nuh gnnnnnn…. Nrrrr nrrrrrrrrrr…

[TRUMP sags. The people around him half-rise. PAM BONDI fairly flies in and starts spraying his face with an atomizer. TRUMP shows no sign of revival. BONDI reaches down to his crotch; her arm moves rhythmically. TRUMP looks around. BONDI drops the atomizer on the table and starts to hoist TRUMP. NOEM starts to come over.]

BONDI: [To NOEM] Back off, bitch!

[NOEM freezes. BONDI gets TRUMP to his feet; with leaden tread he starts to walk away. BONDI goes with him a few steps, then runs back to the table and addresses the others and the camera.]

Nothing happened, you didn’t see anything, not a thing and if you saw anything you didn’t see it!

[She runs back to TRUMP and leaves with him. The others start, confusedly, to leave, as “That Happy Feeling” plays softly in the background.]