Family reunion

A touching scene

[Living room in a rather grand apartment in a skyscraper in Miami. There is a large elevator door at the rear, plenty of posh furnishings, etc. MELANIA TRUMP, wearing thousand-dollar blue jeans, pink flats, a grey t-shirt with a faint fake rock band logo on it, and a deep purple shadbelly coat, is sprawled theatrically on a brocade chaise lounge holding an iPhone.]

YOUNG MAN’S VOICE ON PHONE: Yeah.

MELANIA: Come to leeving ruhm. The Ehp ees coming.

YOUNG MAN’S VOICE: Fuck that.

MELANIA: You come een kays he try to keel me.

[She tucks away the phone. An elevator door opens. TRUMP, in usual suit, enters with two SECRET SERVICE MEN, one of whom pulls a little hand truck with an oxygen tank on it. The AGENTS follow TRUMP to the couch, from which MELANIA has not moved. TRUMP gestures to the AGENT with the oxygen, who hands him a mask; TRUMP inhales a few times, hands it back.]

TRUMP: [A little breathless] How ya doin’.

MELANIA: Whut heppen to yoor lung.

TRUMP: [Getting his wind back] Nothin’. I fixed the air at Mar-a-Lago, pumped it full of ozone. You ever notice down there, the air is full of gas, maybe from when it was the Everglades.

[The AGENT with the oxygen has seated himself on a bench. TRUMP gestures.]

Will ya look at this? Stand up!

[The AGENT stands.]

They’re getting fucking sloppy now. Anyway, I fixed the air and now it’s good, best in the world. But when I go someplace else, the air’s no good, and I choke. So I bring some with me.

[He has seated himself on a nearby chair.]

MELANIA: I am ver busy Dunnald. Whut do you want.

TRUMP: Listen, we got some trials coming me.

MELANIA: Who iss we.

TRUMP: Don’t fuck around. They get my money, you’re up shit creek. So look, when we get to trial, you tell ‘em I got Alzheimer’s. You know what that is, right? Tell ‘em I’m soft in the head and you don’t live with me because you can’t stand to watch my decline.

MELANIA: I do nut leev weeth you becuz you are peeg.

TRUMP: You don't live with me because you’re a clapped-out whore. I got plenty women to fuck me now, beautiful girls, young girls, some of them not even —

[Looks at the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS]

— they’re young, really, really young, not like you, you old cunt, you worn out old cunt.

MELANIA: [Blithely] Peeg.

[TRUMP pulls papers out of his jacket, drops them on a coffee table.]

TRUMP: OK, this is the deposition. You sign it, leave the date blank. Someone will pick it up. And read it too, because they're gonna ask questions,

[BARRON TRUMP comes in; he’s even taller than last time. He wears Vans, gym shorts, and a Michael Kors t-shirt. His hair looks freshly washed.]

Hey, look who’s here. C’mon, give your old man a hug.

BARRON: Fuck you.

TRUMP: [Roars] You little shit! What did you say to me?

[TRUMP gestures to the AGENT with the oxygen, who brings it and give him the mask.]

BARRON: [Shrugs] Fuck you.

TRUMP: Watch your mouth. [Sucks oxygen]

BARRON: [Laughing] Hey mom, he looks like the guy in the movie.

[BARRON imitates Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet]

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

[MELANIA laughs. TRUMP stands, throws the mask to the ground. He has turned beet red and is near mad with rage.]

TRUMP: You shit, shit, you scum, pig, shit, fuck, cunt! Shit, that’s you, shit, you’re nothing. Nothing! Talk to me, to me like that? Because what, you’re family? Tell my old man! Tell the drunk! Tell the judge! Tell the bitch! Tell ‘em all! Family! I killed them, I killed them and I’ll kill all of you. Kill. Kill. I’ll fucking kill you!

[TRUMP advances on them; BARRON pushes him back; TRUMP keeps coming; BARRON punches TRUMP good and hard in the mouth. TRUMP falls backwards to the ground, is for a moment very still. No one moves, not even the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS — which BARRON notices. TRUMP raises his arms.]

TRUMP: You fuck.

[BARRON walks to TRUMP. He shoots the AGENTS a look. They have not moved. You can see, for a moment, BARRON poised to kick TRUMP.]

MELANIA: Barron.

[BARRON goes back to the couch, sits next to his mother. The AGENTS go to TRUMP and gently pick him up. TRUMP’s mouth is bloody; one agent hands him a handkerchief, which TRUMP uses to wipe his mouth. He looks at handkerchief and seems stunned. He looks at BARRON, who stares back insolently.]

BARRON: Looks like you fell down.

MELANIA: Ees Ahlzheimmer. They fall.

[TRUMP turns and hobbles toward the elevator, accompanied by the AGENTS. They get on, the door closes. Pause.]

BARRON: Let’s watch that movie again.

[BLACKOUT.]