55 Comments
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Jan 17, 2024Edited
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Bern's avatar

To be fair, neither could I...

SteveB's avatar

Horse tranquilizer best confined to use on horses.

SundayStyle's avatar

Love the addition of the knock-off Resolute Desk, lol.

I don’t know, I think Ramaswamy has only a slightly better chance of being picked as Trump’s Veep than I do. The MAGAts think he’s a Muslim because of course they do, and he has some of the strongest “shove me into a locker” energy I’ve ever seen any adult man possess. I think Trump knows there’s only room for one crazy man on the ticket and he’ll want his Veep to serve as his anchor.

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Jan 17, 2024
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SteveB's avatar

Like the old Colbert Report show, where they'd have to explain to the guests before they went out, "Stephen will make all the jokes, you're here as the straight man."

Bern's avatar

Always the buoy, never the anchor...

Tho I guess could be argued hot-air balloon is closer to his density.

redoubtagain's avatar

This. No party full of Birthers is about to let anyone that naturally tanned close to the Presidency.

SteveB's avatar

"We get our bronzer out of a plastic tube, like GOD intended!"

Cheez Whiz's avatar

I know it's Conventional Wisdom, liberal-style, but I don't think skin color is the deal breaker for Republicans everyone assumes. It's not the 50's anymore, and Ideological purity is a far more important checkbox than "this far and no further". I know it's a lost cause, like arguing Trump is not "stupid", but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

While I'm tilting at windmills, I'm convinced Trump's pick must have unquestionable loyalty and not a hint of a whiff of ambition. Pence nailed #1 but whiffed #2. He'll pick someone who will put their neck in the noose with a smile. Swami is just Pence without the leverage of the evangelical base, which Trump already owns anyway.

Pere Ubu's avatar

"it's not the 50s anymore"

Yeah, well, in the MAGA cinematic universe it is, and sometimes it's an 18 or 16 in front of the 50 as well.

SteveB's avatar

It's like Sassy Gay Friend in a sitcom or movie. Some toleration, just a little. Don't get out of line, stick to the script. You're on continuous probation.

Manqueman's avatar

Oh... my... god...

This was epic... brilliant...

Worriedman's avatar

THAT"S ENTERTAINMENT!!

SteveB's avatar

Where a girl fucks her father and causes a lot of bother

Worriedman's avatar

Or a ghost and a prince meat

And everybody ends in mincemeat.

SteveB's avatar

Where a rope and Mike Pence meet

Found hiding in the basement

Pere Ubu's avatar

A rope for Mike Pence meant

Both found in the basement

Derelict's avatar

Sorry, Roy, but you lost when Trump didn't call him "Wannasalami" in the first graph.

I sometimes wonder How Trump manages to ever sit down given all the noses stuffed up his ass. Ramaswamy, Stefanik, Johnson (all the Johnsons!), Boebert and Greene. So many noses!

DrBDH's avatar

Never mix your Adderall and Trump’s formula! Time for a midazolam drip at the ER for Vivek.

Bern's avatar

I'm the physician! Assume the position!

DrBDH's avatar

Nurse, get me the extra large gloves.

Bern's avatar

Thanks for the inside dope.

Pere Ubu's avatar

"Assume the position

Go into doggie submission"

-- DEVO

CB's avatar

Terrible thought of the day: Trump regaining the presidency isn't bad enough on it's own, it would also mean a decent chance of Stefanik or whoever eventually tarnishing the office.

SteveB's avatar

I say we just avoid the whole thing entirely by reelecting this Biden fella.

Bern's avatar

Shades anda hot car – two terms!

SteveB's avatar

When this guy says "Would you like to step outside and see my 'Vette?" you know it's the real thing.

RWAlex's avatar

After snorting tRump's Formula, I imagine "Avivek" sounding like the Ajax snorting woman in Cheech and Chong...

An Indian friend ("Indjah Indian, not woo-woo Indian) says "Vivek" means "bright, intelligent", and Avivek is the negation of that.

Bern's avatar

This is exactly the reason why it is incumbent upon us all to cultivate international relations – the inside stuff always helps us dis the lunkheads with added verve. And you could inform your friend from Indjah that Vivek is a choad.

RWAlex's avatar

"Vivek is a choad."

He has sussed that out some time ago...

Pat Fitzgerald's avatar

“He still on drugs? [Pause] Not a deal-breaker, but can he handle his shit?” Great kicker. Won’t read anything better today.

Bern's avatar

"an untucked Stefano Ricci medallion print silk dress shirt, a blue Brioni cashmere sport jacket"

had me wondering if the shirttails extended below the hem of the jacket

but

"blue Riomar Deck Drivers"

had me running to the internets to check 'em out, and I gotta say, the boss's craft is blossoming. I mean, building an entire website with astonishingly embarrassing shoes, just to entertain us – that is a pro move, my friends.

2 marks!

SteveB's avatar

I wonder what my new friend DuckDuckGo thinks of me based on this search history I'm compiling. We just met, and I want to make a good impression, so far all it knows is I have awful taste in shoes.

Pere Ubu's avatar

I'm working on introducing DDG to my, er, *unconventional* search history. It's gotta learn some time!

SteveB's avatar

"These humans are really something", says Cartoon Duck.

Roy Edroso's avatar

I would wear those

Robert Jaffee's avatar

Vivek will never be VP, but I’m sure if he grovels hard and long enough, Trump will nominate him to be an ambassador of some “shit-hole” country like Afghanistan or Pakistan. Trump’s words, not mine!...:)

Bern's avatar

I could see him representing the Untied States in the desert oasis city-state of Vegas.

Robert Jaffee's avatar

Or perhaps his good friend Putin will do Trump a favor and make Siberia a separate country; sending Vivek there. Out of sight, out of mind...:)

SteveB's avatar

More like sending Vivek out a fourth-floor window.

Robert Jaffee's avatar

That will work. It will be suicide, just like the Russian playbook...:)

redoubtagain's avatar

House Of Flying Diplomats

SteveB's avatar

Hold on, Trump's got his eye on that place for the site of the new Capitol, to get away from all THOSE people who supplied the jury to convict him of insurrection. Just wait til he finds out about the hotel-workers union.

Pere Ubu's avatar

Or, as it's known after The Big Oops, "Lost Vague Ass". (the origin of this odd name is unknown, probably lost to history)

SteveB's avatar

You wanna appointment, you gotta kick back 20%. Everybody does it, we'll give you the bank account number so you can do it direct-deposit. We don't got time to send the bagman around to everybody like we useta.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Finally, one of these with a happy ending. And Beefsteak Charlie's! That takes me back--particularly to a time when, with our youthful irreverence, we referred to it as Tube Steak Charlie's.

Mona's avatar

Fun! Iowa Republicans didn't like Vivek's name, his skin color or his connection to 9/11!?! (Iowa: where public education has been circling the drain since the days of Governor Robert D Ray.)

Mark Lamont Hill did a video about the veep sweepstakes and he thinks Trump will choose Ben Carson. It's an interesting take.

Finnishfulhero's avatar

Liked for the circling the drain since old Bob Ray.

Mona's avatar

Bob isn't the reason our public education system is no longer tops in the nation. He was simply the last governor who gave a shit.

Finnishfulhero's avatar

Yeah, and left ("retired") right around the "Reagan Revolution", where things started (and only started) to get nutty in the state. My parents never understood why I left in '89.

They couldn't wrap their heads around "I was told to go, there is nothing here for you" while they simultaneously wished I would stay with no extensive view forward.

They tried to be the "education state" which, more or less they were during old Bob's time, but it has since been dismantled. I forgot what the newer slogan was but they were desperately trying to draw expatriates back, and listing jobs you could have which I qualified for ...two.

At questionable companies with questionable reputations for less pay than I made here for more work. It was a "You are responsible for the blame but you have no power to change the path of the freight train bearing down upon you" position.

Mona's avatar

Ray was governor for 14 years, in 1983 it was time for him to go. I grew up in a different Iowa than you did, a better Iowa. In large part because of Governor Ray. He was one of the last of his kind--a decent Republican. Subsequent Democratic governors sucked and you know about the awfulness of Branstad and Reynolds.

Finnishfulhero's avatar

Ray was governor when I grew up. Braindead was governor when I left in 1989 for the coast.

Pere Ubu's avatar

"an eagle, stars and banners, two girls in bikinis, and the words TRUMP 2024."

These girls need to be silver outline seated trucker mudflap girls.

Pere Ubu's avatar

"then suddenly flies backwards about eight feet and shakes his head like a dog trying to dry its fur"

I'm envisioning birds, corkscrews,and Saturns orbiting his head.

Mona's avatar

Oh, you sounded a bit younger than that. But I had already gotten through college and settled in at the USPS before Braindead. Peace.