55 Comments
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Jan 17Edited
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To be fair, neither could I...

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Horse tranquilizer best confined to use on horses.

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Love the addition of the knock-off Resolute Desk, lol.

I don’t know, I think Ramaswamy has only a slightly better chance of being picked as Trump’s Veep than I do. The MAGAts think he’s a Muslim because of course they do, and he has some of the strongest “shove me into a locker” energy I’ve ever seen any adult man possess. I think Trump knows there’s only room for one crazy man on the ticket and he’ll want his Veep to serve as his anchor.

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Jan 17
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Like the old Colbert Report show, where they'd have to explain to the guests before they went out, "Stephen will make all the jokes, you're here as the straight man."

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Always the buoy, never the anchor...

Tho I guess could be argued hot-air balloon is closer to his density.

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Buoy meets gull

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This. No party full of Birthers is about to let anyone that naturally tanned close to the Presidency.

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"We get our bronzer out of a plastic tube, like GOD intended!"

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I know it's Conventional Wisdom, liberal-style, but I don't think skin color is the deal breaker for Republicans everyone assumes. It's not the 50's anymore, and Ideological purity is a far more important checkbox than "this far and no further". I know it's a lost cause, like arguing Trump is not "stupid", but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

While I'm tilting at windmills, I'm convinced Trump's pick must have unquestionable loyalty and not a hint of a whiff of ambition. Pence nailed #1 but whiffed #2. He'll pick someone who will put their neck in the noose with a smile. Swami is just Pence without the leverage of the evangelical base, which Trump already owns anyway.

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"it's not the 50s anymore"

Yeah, well, in the MAGA cinematic universe it is, and sometimes it's an 18 or 16 in front of the 50 as well.

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It's like Sassy Gay Friend in a sitcom or movie. Some toleration, just a little. Don't get out of line, stick to the script. You're on continuous probation.

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Oh... my... god...

This was epic... brilliant...

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THAT"S ENTERTAINMENT!!

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Where a girl fucks her father and causes a lot of bother

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Or a ghost and a prince meat

And everybody ends in mincemeat.

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Where a rope and Mike Pence meet

Found hiding in the basement

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A rope for Mike Pence meant

Both found in the basement

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Sorry, Roy, but you lost when Trump didn't call him "Wannasalami" in the first graph.

I sometimes wonder How Trump manages to ever sit down given all the noses stuffed up his ass. Ramaswamy, Stefanik, Johnson (all the Johnsons!), Boebert and Greene. So many noses!

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Never mix your Adderall and Trump’s formula! Time for a midazolam drip at the ER for Vivek.

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I'm the physician! Assume the position!

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Nurse, get me the extra large gloves.

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Thanks for the inside dope.

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"Assume the position

Go into doggie submission"

-- DEVO

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Jan 17Edited

Terrible thought of the day: Trump regaining the presidency isn't bad enough on it's own, it would also mean a decent chance of Stefanik or whoever eventually tarnishing the office.

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I say we just avoid the whole thing entirely by reelecting this Biden fella.

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Shades anda hot car – two terms!

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When this guy says "Would you like to step outside and see my 'Vette?" you know it's the real thing.

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After snorting tRump's Formula, I imagine "Avivek" sounding like the Ajax snorting woman in Cheech and Chong...

An Indian friend ("Indjah Indian, not woo-woo Indian) says "Vivek" means "bright, intelligent", and Avivek is the negation of that.

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This is exactly the reason why it is incumbent upon us all to cultivate international relations – the inside stuff always helps us dis the lunkheads with added verve. And you could inform your friend from Indjah that Vivek is a choad.

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"Vivek is a choad."

He has sussed that out some time ago...

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“He still on drugs? [Pause] Not a deal-breaker, but can he handle his shit?” Great kicker. Won’t read anything better today.

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"an untucked Stefano Ricci medallion print silk dress shirt, a blue Brioni cashmere sport jacket"

had me wondering if the shirttails extended below the hem of the jacket

but

"blue Riomar Deck Drivers"

had me running to the internets to check 'em out, and I gotta say, the boss's craft is blossoming. I mean, building an entire website with astonishingly embarrassing shoes, just to entertain us – that is a pro move, my friends.

2 marks!

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I wonder what my new friend DuckDuckGo thinks of me based on this search history I'm compiling. We just met, and I want to make a good impression, so far all it knows is I have awful taste in shoes.

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I'm working on introducing DDG to my, er, *unconventional* search history. It's gotta learn some time!

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"These humans are really something", says Cartoon Duck.

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I would wear those

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Vivek will never be VP, but I’m sure if he grovels hard and long enough, Trump will nominate him to be an ambassador of some “shit-hole” country like Afghanistan or Pakistan. Trump’s words, not mine!...:)

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I could see him representing the Untied States in the desert oasis city-state of Vegas.

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Or perhaps his good friend Putin will do Trump a favor and make Siberia a separate country; sending Vivek there. Out of sight, out of mind...:)

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More like sending Vivek out a fourth-floor window.

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That will work. It will be suicide, just like the Russian playbook...:)

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House Of Flying Diplomats

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Hold on, Trump's got his eye on that place for the site of the new Capitol, to get away from all THOSE people who supplied the jury to convict him of insurrection. Just wait til he finds out about the hotel-workers union.

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Or, as it's known after The Big Oops, "Lost Vague Ass". (the origin of this odd name is unknown, probably lost to history)

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You wanna appointment, you gotta kick back 20%. Everybody does it, we'll give you the bank account number so you can do it direct-deposit. We don't got time to send the bagman around to everybody like we useta.

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Finally, one of these with a happy ending. And Beefsteak Charlie's! That takes me back--particularly to a time when, with our youthful irreverence, we referred to it as Tube Steak Charlie's.

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Fun! Iowa Republicans didn't like Vivek's name, his skin color or his connection to 9/11!?! (Iowa: where public education has been circling the drain since the days of Governor Robert D Ray.)

Mark Lamont Hill did a video about the veep sweepstakes and he thinks Trump will choose Ben Carson. It's an interesting take.

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Liked for the circling the drain since old Bob Ray.

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Bob isn't the reason our public education system is no longer tops in the nation. He was simply the last governor who gave a shit.

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Yeah, and left ("retired") right around the "Reagan Revolution", where things started (and only started) to get nutty in the state. My parents never understood why I left in '89.

They couldn't wrap their heads around "I was told to go, there is nothing here for you" while they simultaneously wished I would stay with no extensive view forward.

They tried to be the "education state" which, more or less they were during old Bob's time, but it has since been dismantled. I forgot what the newer slogan was but they were desperately trying to draw expatriates back, and listing jobs you could have which I qualified for ...two.

At questionable companies with questionable reputations for less pay than I made here for more work. It was a "You are responsible for the blame but you have no power to change the path of the freight train bearing down upon you" position.

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Ray was governor for 14 years, in 1983 it was time for him to go. I grew up in a different Iowa than you did, a better Iowa. In large part because of Governor Ray. He was one of the last of his kind--a decent Republican. Subsequent Democratic governors sucked and you know about the awfulness of Branstad and Reynolds.

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Ray was governor when I grew up. Braindead was governor when I left in 1989 for the coast.

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"an eagle, stars and banners, two girls in bikinis, and the words TRUMP 2024."

These girls need to be silver outline seated trucker mudflap girls.

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"then suddenly flies backwards about eight feet and shakes his head like a dog trying to dry its fur"

I'm envisioning birds, corkscrews,and Saturns orbiting his head.

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Oh, you sounded a bit younger than that. But I had already gotten through college and settled in at the USPS before Braindead. Peace.

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