First Projects from Ben Shapiro’s Family Entertainment Company Revealed
He’s a small wad after all
Daily Wire investing $100 million in kids content to battle ‘woke’ Disney
The Daily Wire, Ben Shapiro’s conservative-leaning media company, says it will invest $100 million in children’s content as part of a plan to create an alternative to the “woke” Walt Disney Company.
“Americans are tired of giving their money to woke corporations who hate them,” said The Daily Wire co-CEO Jeremy Boreing.
“They’re tired of giving their money to woke media companies who want to indoctrinate their children with radical race and gender theory.”
“But they want to do more than just cancel them. They want alternatives.”
Boreing added: “The Daily Wire is giving them those alternatives.”
Boreing told Daily Wire staffers that the company will “invest a minimum of $100 million over the next three years into a line of live-action and animated children’s entertainment on its streaming platform.” — New York Post
Pongo the White Man’s Friend.
Before wokeness made it “inappropriate,” kids loved Indian characters like Pow Wow the Indian Boy and the Hakawi on F Troop. Shapiro Studios brings back this tradition with Pongo, a strong, noble deerslayer who lives happily side by side with the settlers on Manifest Destiny Mountain. The mountaineers and their adorable children admire Pongo’s self-sufficiency and manly physique, while Pongo admires the settlers’ capitalism and Judeo-Christian moral principles.
In the pilot episode we see Pongo at first agreeing with his fellow tribesmen that the fit punishment for a brave who has stolen food is banishment from the tribe, until he is swayed by the settlers’ reasoning that this is not what the Great White Father would want. He successfully convinces the tribe to instead convert the man to Christianity and then execute him by torture, and then share their maize with the newcomers in exchange for religious instruction.
In most episodes Pongo and the settler kids thwart the schemes of Beastly Bob and his sodomite ring, who contrive to normalize unnatural acts among the settlers, either by grooming local children or by introducing their filthy practices among adults. Don’t worry, parents — these practices are never spelled out, as Shapiro Studios happily complies with the Florida law that makes any discussion of gay people with children illegal. Young viewers only learn that Bob and his ring are doing something shameful, and richly deserve the beatings and humiliation they receive at the end of every episode — and Bob’s catchphrases “Love is Love” and “Equality before the Law,” and his fondness for stage plays and foreign foods, and the ease with which he gets along with local women, will teach the kids what groomer warning signs to look out for in real life.
Sometimes for variety Pongo and the local kids match wits with German socialists or drive back invading Mexican Jose and his gang of immigrants. Parents will appreciate that Pongo is totally fine with jokes about his primitive ways and stilted manner of speech — and “how”! Plus his cricket team is called the Redskins.
Sheriff Allen West: No Prisoners.
Following in the footsteps of Steven Seagal, Allen West — the former Congressman and Texas GOP Chairman who’s not afraid to shoot from the hip or literally get in someone’s face — is appointed Sheriff of Mesa Loco, a Texas town that may be small but still sees its share of law-breaking, caused by the erosion of family values under liberal indoctrination and meth. Every week Sheriff West shows house-breakers, bar-fighters, and underpass-sleepers who’s boss, often with the not-strictly-legal moves he learned serving his country in Iraq. The show’s title comes from West’s pledge to keep Mesa Loco’s jail cells clean and empty, and to instead give his arrestees a fair fight whether they want it or not. Losers get to recuperate in the nearest hospital 90 miles away. “Most times they have to sleep in a hallway on account of COVID,” says West. “But they should have thought of that before they became drug addicts.”
Jack’s Big Score!
Shapiro Studio’s first big animated feature delivers the beloved Jack and The Beanstalk story with a patriotic twist. Jack (Ben Shapiro) lives in dreary Libtown, where muggers run wild and all the children have to wear a mask to school and can’t play with lawn darts — though crafty Jack smuggles some into the recess yard, causing a comic incident with the snooty principal (Kevin Sorbo) that gets him expelled. Jack’s evil mother (Patricia Heaton), a dead ringer for Nancy Pelosi, sends her boy to the Vaccine Store with the last of the family’s savings, but he is intercepted on his way by Handsome Don (the true current President himself!), who convinces him to exchange his money for a bag of MAGA beans and “the pen that signed the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act” instead. His mother is triggered by this and calls Jack a “conspiracy nut,” but he plants his beans and grows a beanstalk up to the clouds; Jack climbs it and takes on the evil Fauci-esque Big Gummint (James Woods), blocking the monster’s hypodermic sword with the Shield of the Constitution, pinning him down with lawn darts, and stabbing him to death with the pen Handsome Don gave him. Thus Jack frees Libtown, pleasing everyone but Jack’s mother and the snooty principal, who have to go live in Ukraine with all the other losers. Songs include Handsome Don’s “Buhlieve Me” (“Don’t listen to your stupid mom, she’s a lib and her news is all fake/ I’ll sell you all my MAGA beans, and I’ll throw in a tape of ‘The Snake’”) and what’s sure to be a monster hit, Jack’s “Let Me Arm” (“Let me arm, let me hunt/I’m a man, I’m not a mouse/Let me shoot, let me kill/Like my man Kyle Rittenhouse”). Take that, woketards!