All I can say is like many others, I am in a state of stunned surprise as there are now *two* SCOTUS Justices embroiled in pay-to-play scandals, but *neither* of them is Brett Kavanaugh. Didn’t see that one coming.
"Well, the problem as I see it, Mr. Bennett, is all the strange young men what talks on the computer about everybody gettin’ replaced with a theory. Time was when ye had a fella like that, ye sent him away someplace to lick envelopes where no one could see him. But now they’re all you see! Them and that Trump fella."
*choke!* Good lord, that makes sense!
Anyway. All this Hibernian bashing takes back to when America was truly great -- the 1850s.
Apr 27, 2023·edited Apr 27, 2023Liked by Roy Edroso
This was excellent. Thanks!.
You'd think Bill and Boof would bond.
Degenerate gamblers have a lot in common!
My favorite Irish joke would make a good Boof joke. -
Boof was visiting Ireland with his wife. On the third day they split up their sightseeing. Mrs. Boof went to by lace and Boof fulfilled a lifelong dream and visited the Guiness brewery.
Mrs. Boof came back late that afternoon
With yards and yards of handmade lace she planned on turning into curtains for their dining room back home in Virginia.
It was almost 6 and Boof hadn't returned from his adventures.. Mrs. Boof was getting ready to call him when there was a knock on the door. It was the hotel manager and another man she hadn't met. The manager says " Ma'm, we've got terrible news. "
The second man steps forward and removes his hat. " Ma'm , I'm the manager at the Guiness Brewery. On a tour today your husband fell into a tank of
Stout and drowned."
" My God" says Mrs. Boof," was it quick?"
" Not exactly - he got out 4 times to take a piss."
Just magnificent. The more I read, even the characters other than Bennett developed an Irish accent in my head, and the more I wished I had three fingers of something (not pudding) to enhance the experience and take me back to the Irish Rep of my youth. The appearance of the Crazy Jesus Lady was just swell. This piece might be expanded into a full-length production, where Tucker is the character always talked about but never seen or heard, sort of like a Quare Fellow for wingnuts, executed by the now leftist Murdochs to appease the Deep State, or something.
I'm so relieved most American conservatives don't talk like stage Irishmen, because if they did, they'd probably be a lot more popular so here's me happy that we dodged that bullet. :)
I really want to see this staged live. Roy is definitely wasting his time and talent by not becoming America's greatest playwright!
All I can say is like many others, I am in a state of stunned surprise as there are now *two* SCOTUS Justices embroiled in pay-to-play scandals, but *neither* of them is Brett Kavanaugh. Didn’t see that one coming.
"Well, the problem as I see it, Mr. Bennett, is all the strange young men what talks on the computer about everybody gettin’ replaced with a theory. Time was when ye had a fella like that, ye sent him away someplace to lick envelopes where no one could see him. But now they’re all you see! Them and that Trump fella."
*choke!* Good lord, that makes sense!
Anyway. All this Hibernian bashing takes back to when America was truly great -- the 1850s.
I’m gonna print this out and hang it on my wall cause its feckin brilliant!
This was excellent. Thanks!.
You'd think Bill and Boof would bond.
Degenerate gamblers have a lot in common!
My favorite Irish joke would make a good Boof joke. -
Boof was visiting Ireland with his wife. On the third day they split up their sightseeing. Mrs. Boof went to by lace and Boof fulfilled a lifelong dream and visited the Guiness brewery.
Mrs. Boof came back late that afternoon
With yards and yards of handmade lace she planned on turning into curtains for their dining room back home in Virginia.
It was almost 6 and Boof hadn't returned from his adventures.. Mrs. Boof was getting ready to call him when there was a knock on the door. It was the hotel manager and another man she hadn't met. The manager says " Ma'm, we've got terrible news. "
The second man steps forward and removes his hat. " Ma'm , I'm the manager at the Guiness Brewery. On a tour today your husband fell into a tank of
Stout and drowned."
" My God" says Mrs. Boof," was it quick?"
" Not exactly - he got out 4 times to take a piss."
Yesterday Roy channeled Bret Bedbug Stephens. Today it’s James Joyce, or maybe Beckett. From the sublimely ridiculous to the ridiculously sublime.
Just magnificent. The more I read, even the characters other than Bennett developed an Irish accent in my head, and the more I wished I had three fingers of something (not pudding) to enhance the experience and take me back to the Irish Rep of my youth. The appearance of the Crazy Jesus Lady was just swell. This piece might be expanded into a full-length production, where Tucker is the character always talked about but never seen or heard, sort of like a Quare Fellow for wingnuts, executed by the now leftist Murdochs to appease the Deep State, or something.
I thought the old hag would head straight for the bar.
"Oh no, thse Demmy-crats is feelin’ their oats and thirstin’ for blood. They might start askin’ impertinent questions."
I love it: you got Bloated Bill Bennett channeling Mr. Dooley!
And I didn't anticipate the ethanol scented arrival of the Magic Dolphins Lady...
Why couldn't it end with Kavanaugh cutting off his fingers because he don' wanna be pals wi' Billy Barr no more?
"Long Day's Journey Into Naught"
God hlep me, I missed these guys.
Gotta work a joke in there about the evil progression from transubstanciation to transsexualism.
Rectory? Nearly killed 'em!
...
...uh, wait a minute here ...
I'm so relieved most American conservatives don't talk like stage Irishmen, because if they did, they'd probably be a lot more popular so here's me happy that we dodged that bullet. :)
“ROSS DOUTHAT (B&B)”
Of course!