I would guess that imagining their opponents and the press had “outsmarted themselves” is a pretty constant state of affairs not just within the Herschel Walker but also within the Mehmet Oz and JD Vance campaigns. Etc., etc.
I can't laugh at this stuff any more. Walker is so obviously unfit for any position including dog catcher that he should never have gotten this far. Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
J.D. Vance wrote an entire book telling the people of Ohio that he thinks they're all contemptible drug-addled morons. His entire candidacy is financed by a billionaire vampire, and Vance has made it a proud campaign talking point that he doesn't even have a vague clue as to what the issues are or even might be. Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
Ron Johnson is demonstrably the dumbest man in the Senate, with an overt cruel streak and a campaign platform that essentially says "I will work as hard as I can to make life as horrible as possible for ALL Wisconsonites!" Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
We are a nation of imbeciles, and we demand that our leaders be cruel, stupid, and dumb. We're getting our wish.
About Johnson, you'd think telling half of your state's population "If you don't like the law, you can leave" would have a significant negative impact on your chances of winning, but you don't know Wisconsin.
Dunno that that makes you special, sorry. That divide between rural anti-progressives and less rural anti-reactionaries is, like, classic. Problem is that the former are the useful tools for the Powers That Be.
Now JD is both advocating for Alex Jones and denying he even knows who Jones is, because while THE REGIME HAS FINALLY OVERREACHED he knows Jones is still too toxic to be associated with.
It’s the lesson from conservative media: only truth that matters is whatever the audience wants to hear. Gotta have one’s beliefs reinforced no matter how bogus and never challenged.
It’s all about saying anything necessary to get elected to then lock in power. No other principles. Then again, conservatism is all and only about nothing changing ever.
Oct 18, 2022·edited Oct 18, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso
There you go again, Roy. Making fun of the mentally handicapped may seem funny to you, but it's no joke.
Also lacks realism. Spoken sentence structure too close to actual English, rather than the Authentic Brain Trauma Gibberish normally spouted by the [checks notes] actual Senatorial candidate.
I've never been fortunate enough to meet Herschel, but I have known people like him who think that saying you'll do a thing is the same as doing the thing, and saying you have done a thing is the same as having done the thing. And boy, are they exhausting to deal with. "I said I'd do it, what more do you want?"
In Walker's case, claiming he graduated at the top of his class when he did not graduate AT ALL is just as good as having been valedictorian, I guess--but without all that additional baggage of, like, being smart or educated or something.
Democrats are missing a trick (but I repeat myself) when they don't relate candidates like Walker and Trump back to peoples ordinary experiences. Most adults have had contact at one time or another with a pathological liar, and most don't relish the experience. Instead of elevating people like Trump and Walker with WORST LIAR EVAR, maybe a more low-key approach would help? "Oh, you know him, he's the ex who said he'd pick the kid up after school but then 'forgot' but he's always got a doozy of an excuse, doesn't he?"
I have an obnoxious in-law whom the family thinks is an absolute genius because she graduated a private high school at the top of her class. She was one of 7 people graduating that year, and she's now almost 30--dropped out of college after 2 months and has never had a job or any money-making thing ever. Lives off Daddy's money and spends her days shit-talking other people on Reddit.
I've got a soft spot for people who just piss away the family fortune instead of working to pile even more on top of it. One generation and done would be so much better for the rest of us.
they really need to rethink that 1000 badge initial offering for the 'brain damage' badge. there's a way higher demand for them than that. MTG alone will account for a few hundred.
I, for one, would welcome a state capital populated by little mice in footie pajamas dancing on toadstools, while grasshoppers played the fiddle, and pixies blew kisses to the stars.
I'm watching a downy woodpecker out the window and ruminating (or more accurately randomnating) at the likelihood the bird would be at least as good a voter as your average Georgia republicanista. I mean, with that beak, there'd be no question of hanging chads, for one thing. And the purposeful way it goes about sorting the bugs from the bark makes me think "Yup. Knows its stuff." As opposed to...well, you get the idea.
Perhaps Georgia polling is dominated by republicanista responses, and the dems gonna blow it out. You can call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. There's a guy I know up in Poughkeepsie, thinks he's in Dream City.
Yet we must Very Seriously inquire if Fetterman can be a competent Senator, because he can't hear so good.
(For no reason at all I'm suddenly reminded of, who was it, HW Bush or Reagan, who'd walk to his helicopter while the press yelled questions at him and he'd just point to his ear and shake his head.)
It is very funny that any voter with an eye or two can see Republican policies are actually *changing the weather for the worse* and *killing our family members* and even so, half of us look at dementia patients like Walker, amoral cretins like Vance, and dimwits like Johnson and think: Better these guys than the Democrats [who have been objectively right on every major issue for 25 years]!!! I mean, that is fucking high comedy.
I would guess that imagining their opponents and the press had “outsmarted themselves” is a pretty constant state of affairs not just within the Herschel Walker but also within the Mehmet Oz and JD Vance campaigns. Etc., etc.
There is no bottom.
The only way to be safe from the dangers of outsmarting is to consistently under-smart.
maybe some sort of a 'smart-bomb'? just spit-balling here.
I assume the smart bomb, American-style targets and destroys smartness wherever it finds it.
You know we're fucked when real
life seems like a story Terry Southern and Flannery O'Conner cooked up one night over too much bourbon.This whole Trump thing does, actually.
"little tiny peoples I see in my dreams ..."
This column is hilarious in a very terrifying way.
My sentiments exactly.
I bet the fake badges will do even better at raising funds than his campaign’s “My Mom was with Hershel” onesies and coat hangers.
I always enjoy your morning read - scary as they often are. Thanks for the chuckle.
Thanks!
I can't laugh at this stuff any more. Walker is so obviously unfit for any position including dog catcher that he should never have gotten this far. Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
J.D. Vance wrote an entire book telling the people of Ohio that he thinks they're all contemptible drug-addled morons. His entire candidacy is financed by a billionaire vampire, and Vance has made it a proud campaign talking point that he doesn't even have a vague clue as to what the issues are or even might be. Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
Ron Johnson is demonstrably the dumbest man in the Senate, with an overt cruel streak and a campaign platform that essentially says "I will work as hard as I can to make life as horrible as possible for ALL Wisconsonites!" Yet, it sure looks like he's going to win.
We are a nation of imbeciles, and we demand that our leaders be cruel, stupid, and dumb. We're getting our wish.
Au contraire: Walker is fit for the one thing that matters most: The commitment to obeying party orders. Everything else is bupkis.
About Johnson, you'd think telling half of your state's population "If you don't like the law, you can leave" would have a significant negative impact on your chances of winning, but you don't know Wisconsin.
Dunno that that makes you special, sorry. That divide between rural anti-progressives and less rural anti-reactionaries is, like, classic. Problem is that the former are the useful tools for the Powers That Be.
"I will work as hard as I can to make life as horrible as possible for ALL Wisconsonites!"
So... that means horrible for Madison and Milwaukee, right? If so, count me in! - Half of Wisconsin
Half of everywhere.
And if you count those not bothering to vote against that crap, then that crap represents the majority.
Now JD is both advocating for Alex Jones and denying he even knows who Jones is, because while THE REGIME HAS FINALLY OVERREACHED he knows Jones is still too toxic to be associated with.
It’s the lesson from conservative media: only truth that matters is whatever the audience wants to hear. Gotta have one’s beliefs reinforced no matter how bogus and never challenged.
Ron Johnson ate at Putin's table on the Fourth of July, and Republicans still don't care.
Like the boll weevil, Herschel came up from Texas to alter Georgia culture.
It’s all about saying anything necessary to get elected to then lock in power. No other principles. Then again, conservatism is all and only about nothing changing ever.
Had me at Denteen 😂
Anyway, amused even though I shouldn't be.
There you go again, Roy. Making fun of the mentally handicapped may seem funny to you, but it's no joke.
Also lacks realism. Spoken sentence structure too close to actual English, rather than the Authentic Brain Trauma Gibberish normally spouted by the [checks notes] actual Senatorial candidate.
I'm all about the snaffle and the curb. https://quotepark.com/quotes/1909361-roy-campbell-poet-you-praise-the-firm-restraint-with-which-they-writ/
Not gonna kink shame, but this is supposed to be a family site.
[offstage whispers] Really? I stand corrected! Let your freak flag fly!
"the snaffle and the curb"
2 marks!
I've never been fortunate enough to meet Herschel, but I have known people like him who think that saying you'll do a thing is the same as doing the thing, and saying you have done a thing is the same as having done the thing. And boy, are they exhausting to deal with. "I said I'd do it, what more do you want?"
In Walker's case, claiming he graduated at the top of his class when he did not graduate AT ALL is just as good as having been valedictorian, I guess--but without all that additional baggage of, like, being smart or educated or something.
Democrats are missing a trick (but I repeat myself) when they don't relate candidates like Walker and Trump back to peoples ordinary experiences. Most adults have had contact at one time or another with a pathological liar, and most don't relish the experience. Instead of elevating people like Trump and Walker with WORST LIAR EVAR, maybe a more low-key approach would help? "Oh, you know him, he's the ex who said he'd pick the kid up after school but then 'forgot' but he's always got a doozy of an excuse, doesn't he?"
First place in a class of zero is an impressive accomplshment, no?
I have an obnoxious in-law whom the family thinks is an absolute genius because she graduated a private high school at the top of her class. She was one of 7 people graduating that year, and she's now almost 30--dropped out of college after 2 months and has never had a job or any money-making thing ever. Lives off Daddy's money and spends her days shit-talking other people on Reddit.
Genius, I tell you.
How can it be that she's not a Republican candidate yet?
Nice work if you can get it.
I've got a soft spot for people who just piss away the family fortune instead of working to pile even more on top of it. One generation and done would be so much better for the rest of us.
Herschel is the Valedictorian of the Empty Set.
they really need to rethink that 1000 badge initial offering for the 'brain damage' badge. there's a way higher demand for them than that. MTG alone will account for a few hundred.
They'd sell.even more if it had a decoder ring incorporated in it.
DRINK MORE FLAVOR-ADE
I only wish most of this wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.
Sooo…
Warnock needs to start distributing “Fake Herschel “ badges: “Herschel in your uterus”, e.g.
"Herschel Walker, Coochie Cop"
Yeah. Roy spelled "shtupp" incorrectly up top.
Breitbart's next epic film project
Or if Herschel doesn't win, he can keep the fake badge, get a fake uniform to match, and make a living doing bachelorette parties.
I, for one, would welcome a state capital populated by little mice in footie pajamas dancing on toadstools, while grasshoppers played the fiddle, and pixies blew kisses to the stars.
Yeah, me too, I guess...tho eventually the toads gonna need their stools back.
I've never been to Vermont, but I always assumed this was what Montpelier was like.
It’s been a long time since I was there, but you might be right. Or maybe it’s Bennington.
All watched over by a wise and beneficent socialist Gandalf named Bernie.
We hatessss him! He stole our preciousss! It was our turn, it was! Everything is all his faultsess!
Settle down, pal. The cosplay convention ain't for another couple weeks.
Steal his mittenses, we will!
I'm watching a downy woodpecker out the window and ruminating (or more accurately randomnating) at the likelihood the bird would be at least as good a voter as your average Georgia republicanista. I mean, with that beak, there'd be no question of hanging chads, for one thing. And the purposeful way it goes about sorting the bugs from the bark makes me think "Yup. Knows its stuff." As opposed to...well, you get the idea.
Perhaps Georgia polling is dominated by republicanista responses, and the dems gonna blow it out. You can call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. There's a guy I know up in Poughkeepsie, thinks he's in Dream City.
Yet we must Very Seriously inquire if Fetterman can be a competent Senator, because he can't hear so good.
(For no reason at all I'm suddenly reminded of, who was it, HW Bush or Reagan, who'd walk to his helicopter while the press yelled questions at him and he'd just point to his ear and shake his head.)
This is satire, right? I just can't tell any more...
OK, I'll admit I googled "Herschel Walker Georgia City" because I couldn't tell for sure.
Take me down to Georgia City
Where Herschel Walker makes the state so shitty
Please!
Take me home!
(One thing "Georgia City" is sure to have is a 100,000-seat Whites Only football stadium.)
It is very funny that any voter with an eye or two can see Republican policies are actually *changing the weather for the worse* and *killing our family members* and even so, half of us look at dementia patients like Walker, amoral cretins like Vance, and dimwits like Johnson and think: Better these guys than the Democrats [who have been objectively right on every major issue for 25 years]!!! I mean, that is fucking high comedy.