NASA. Donald Trump, at COVID briefing: Lemme ask, and I think it was a very interesting point by the, the lady with the scarf, Dr. Brexit, who was talking about these terrible deaths — which we have very few, at the moment, and going down all the time, and soon we'll be reopening and it’ll be so wonderful — but when the person dies, what happens to the virus in that person? Can it escape and infect somebody else? Do you have to catch it like a Pokemon or how do you stop it?
Jeepers, Roy! I thought these things were parodies, not just regurgitating the news and views of conservatives today.
In all seriousness, one of the only "good" things about the Trump presidency has been watching conservatives slowly break every bone in their own bodies as they endlessly contort themselves trying to defend Donald Trump. We long ago passed the "sure, he said that, but he didn't MEAN that" stage. And we also passed the stage of "let me nitpick the exact specific out-of-context somewhat meaning of those words to prove their opposite."
Today's Trump demands an entirely new level of response from conservatives. I figure we're maybe a week away from them proclaiming that George Soros had Trump kidnapped by the Secret Service and replaced with a lab-grown replicant that receives secret programming through his cell phone. The replicant is given instructions every day to go out and look as foolish as possible in order to discredit conservatism and bring about the Soros-controlled One World Order.
Where's the Times' balanced page 1 story saying that some experts don't believe that once someone's dead they cannot be resurrected?
Seriously, if the point of the post is how the wing nuts skew Donnie's "misstatements" (or, as normal people would put it, idiocy), it really needs at least one example of how the establishment press indulges in the same thing.
Meanwhile, a query: How come you don't hear about that 60k dead number anymore? Can't be because we're pretty much have broken 50k already -- and with the second wave coming sooner rather than later -- so soon that it's gonna overlap with the current initial phase. And, maybe I should add, the reason the national curve is flattened as well as it has been is because, in large part, the gross insufficiency of testing: Far from enough tests being given, let alone, assayed and local leaders not interested in testing (if you know what I mean). Can't find something if you don't bother to look. And now that I think about it, given the failure of sufficient testing, maybe we've broken 60k already. (~5m daily needed, still well below ~2m.) Dear Leader Killer Donnie clearly is try to outdo the PRC in downplaying the scale of the pandemic.
You could pull some random guy off the street, put him behind the podium to give a briefing , and there’s a 50% chance he’d do a more coherent job than Trump. There’s a 75% chance he’d do a less dangerous one.
The truly sad/hilarious part is the conservative bootlickers’ panic-posts after Trump drops one of his outlandish “science” bombshells. Seeing them ricochet between “he never used those exact words” and “but it could work, though” is like watching cockroaches scramble after you turn the light on in a dark room.
As I’ve said, a cursory examination of the Right Media shows Late South African Pres.Thambo Mbeki’s crazy HIV cures were mocked as “anti-science by Breitbart, for example...
I think this is an excellent invidious comparison...
As I read one of Roy’s dependably brilliant pasticcios (really, we call them “piss-takes” here in the rapidly disimproving Lower Midwest.) I find myself ordering the cast of characters by how much I would like to punch them in the junk. No reason. My mind just seems to go there. This week was particularly challenging. Shapiro’s or D’Souza usually jump immediately jump to the top of the list. That motherfucker Tom Cotton, that asshole Bret Baier – they always run up at front of the pack when it comes to needing their junk jacked. This time though – Mollie Hemingway came in first. I’m not proud of it, but there it is.
I don't understand how the movie Flatliners can have undergone a remake yet so-called scientists remain unwilling to temporarily kill people before bringing them back to life. And the lamestream media refuses to report on it.
In the denouement of 'The Gentlemen', Mattie McConaughey mentally soliloquizes "..there can be no doubt because doubt causes chaos and one's own demise"... Doubt being Drumpf's strongest manoeuvre, I cannot wait any faster for his expiration ~ hopefully a clandestine Covid stroke that hits him in the middle of one of his masturbatory spiels in front of 50 press members and cameras, causing his eyes to bulge and blood......oh, wait, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
Christ, the Ted Williams reference brings back memories of reading a book called "Frozen" about the company that froze his head and their dubious ethical practices. The guys running it seem to be Libertarian weirdos who believe themselves to be the salvation of humanity. One guy is described as even having castrated himself so he has no distraction from The Goal. Creepy, creepy crowd. Possibly Trump supporters now.
Just when I think you've hit the maximum on the Parody Meter, you create Twitter parodies! If this prevents even one person from paying attention to Twitter ever again, you will have done the country a great service (offer limited, Presidential Medal of Freedom not included).
Given how The Donald (as the New York media called him for so many years, much to the dismay of more famous Donalds like Mr. Duck) reacted over the weekend, I'm interested to see if he gives up on his Coronovirus MAGA Press Rallies and, if so, what brain-eating amoeba of a campaign tactic he comes up with next.
Hi Roy. Know my personal bias against the south and Texas in general and you did site valid reasons justifying their existence but really wasn’t their Lt Governor who said “...there are more important things than living.” For Tom Cotton obeying trump is more important than living. Clorox adds nice fruity flavor to my smoothie. I need raspberry flavored! Thx
Just brilliant. The entire alternate reality, tweets and all. I fear that you've been doing this too long.
I can just hear the voices in Trump's head urging him to show the world his tremendous ideas the likes of which no one ever thought of before. My favorite part of Trump's spiel was when he was talking about the virus just after his disinfectant stroke of genius. I imagine it went like this:
TRUMP: Because you see it gets in the lungs...
VOICES IN TRUMP'S HEAD: Right. "And it really affects..." No, stronger than that... "it has a really big impact..." still too weak... go back to your New York roots Donnie!
TRUMP: ...and it does a tremendous number on the lungs.
VOICES: Yes! "It does a numbah on the lungs!" Queens boulevard baby! Fuckin' AY!
I guess we should be grateful he didn't get too detailed. You just know the voices in his head wanted something like this:
TRUMP: And then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. Like a flashlight up the keister or a pussy light-saber. You know, you could totally lose the condoms with something like that.
Noted felon Dinesh D’Souza oh-so-cleverly and un-self-awary using “beclown” to put down anyone else is the event horizon of cringeworthiness. The universe is going to collapse into a singularity of “Three’s Company” era Don Knotts, only without the quiet dignity.
I was at first concerned that Ben Shapiro's lines didn't have the helpful stage direction "(like a coked-up chipmunk)", but was relieved to see that the writing was so perfectly attuned, that it wasn't necessary. When will I ever learn!?
Jeepers, Roy! I thought these things were parodies, not just regurgitating the news and views of conservatives today.
In all seriousness, one of the only "good" things about the Trump presidency has been watching conservatives slowly break every bone in their own bodies as they endlessly contort themselves trying to defend Donald Trump. We long ago passed the "sure, he said that, but he didn't MEAN that" stage. And we also passed the stage of "let me nitpick the exact specific out-of-context somewhat meaning of those words to prove their opposite."
Today's Trump demands an entirely new level of response from conservatives. I figure we're maybe a week away from them proclaiming that George Soros had Trump kidnapped by the Secret Service and replaced with a lab-grown replicant that receives secret programming through his cell phone. The replicant is given instructions every day to go out and look as foolish as possible in order to discredit conservatism and bring about the Soros-controlled One World Order.
Where's the Times' balanced page 1 story saying that some experts don't believe that once someone's dead they cannot be resurrected?
Seriously, if the point of the post is how the wing nuts skew Donnie's "misstatements" (or, as normal people would put it, idiocy), it really needs at least one example of how the establishment press indulges in the same thing.
Meanwhile, a query: How come you don't hear about that 60k dead number anymore? Can't be because we're pretty much have broken 50k already -- and with the second wave coming sooner rather than later -- so soon that it's gonna overlap with the current initial phase. And, maybe I should add, the reason the national curve is flattened as well as it has been is because, in large part, the gross insufficiency of testing: Far from enough tests being given, let alone, assayed and local leaders not interested in testing (if you know what I mean). Can't find something if you don't bother to look. And now that I think about it, given the failure of sufficient testing, maybe we've broken 60k already. (~5m daily needed, still well below ~2m.) Dear Leader Killer Donnie clearly is try to outdo the PRC in downplaying the scale of the pandemic.
You could pull some random guy off the street, put him behind the podium to give a briefing , and there’s a 50% chance he’d do a more coherent job than Trump. There’s a 75% chance he’d do a less dangerous one.
The truly sad/hilarious part is the conservative bootlickers’ panic-posts after Trump drops one of his outlandish “science” bombshells. Seeing them ricochet between “he never used those exact words” and “but it could work, though” is like watching cockroaches scramble after you turn the light on in a dark room.
STEPHEN MILLER: Well as long as the blacks, Hispanics and Muslims *stay* dead when we kill them I'm on board.
As I’ve said, a cursory examination of the Right Media shows Late South African Pres.Thambo Mbeki’s crazy HIV cures were mocked as “anti-science by Breitbart, for example...
I think this is an excellent invidious comparison...
As I read one of Roy’s dependably brilliant pasticcios (really, we call them “piss-takes” here in the rapidly disimproving Lower Midwest.) I find myself ordering the cast of characters by how much I would like to punch them in the junk. No reason. My mind just seems to go there. This week was particularly challenging. Shapiro’s or D’Souza usually jump immediately jump to the top of the list. That motherfucker Tom Cotton, that asshole Bret Baier – they always run up at front of the pack when it comes to needing their junk jacked. This time though – Mollie Hemingway came in first. I’m not proud of it, but there it is.
Ted Williams's Frozen Head 2020!
I don't understand how the movie Flatliners can have undergone a remake yet so-called scientists remain unwilling to temporarily kill people before bringing them back to life. And the lamestream media refuses to report on it.
In the denouement of 'The Gentlemen', Mattie McConaughey mentally soliloquizes "..there can be no doubt because doubt causes chaos and one's own demise"... Doubt being Drumpf's strongest manoeuvre, I cannot wait any faster for his expiration ~ hopefully a clandestine Covid stroke that hits him in the middle of one of his masturbatory spiels in front of 50 press members and cameras, causing his eyes to bulge and blood......oh, wait, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?
Christ, the Ted Williams reference brings back memories of reading a book called "Frozen" about the company that froze his head and their dubious ethical practices. The guys running it seem to be Libertarian weirdos who believe themselves to be the salvation of humanity. One guy is described as even having castrated himself so he has no distraction from The Goal. Creepy, creepy crowd. Possibly Trump supporters now.
Let a thousand Baghdad Bob's bloom
Just when I think you've hit the maximum on the Parody Meter, you create Twitter parodies! If this prevents even one person from paying attention to Twitter ever again, you will have done the country a great service (offer limited, Presidential Medal of Freedom not included).
Given how The Donald (as the New York media called him for so many years, much to the dismay of more famous Donalds like Mr. Duck) reacted over the weekend, I'm interested to see if he gives up on his Coronovirus MAGA Press Rallies and, if so, what brain-eating amoeba of a campaign tactic he comes up with next.
Hi Roy. Know my personal bias against the south and Texas in general and you did site valid reasons justifying their existence but really wasn’t their Lt Governor who said “...there are more important things than living.” For Tom Cotton obeying trump is more important than living. Clorox adds nice fruity flavor to my smoothie. I need raspberry flavored! Thx
Just brilliant. The entire alternate reality, tweets and all. I fear that you've been doing this too long.
I can just hear the voices in Trump's head urging him to show the world his tremendous ideas the likes of which no one ever thought of before. My favorite part of Trump's spiel was when he was talking about the virus just after his disinfectant stroke of genius. I imagine it went like this:
TRUMP: Because you see it gets in the lungs...
VOICES IN TRUMP'S HEAD: Right. "And it really affects..." No, stronger than that... "it has a really big impact..." still too weak... go back to your New York roots Donnie!
TRUMP: ...and it does a tremendous number on the lungs.
VOICES: Yes! "It does a numbah on the lungs!" Queens boulevard baby! Fuckin' AY!
I guess we should be grateful he didn't get too detailed. You just know the voices in his head wanted something like this:
TRUMP: And then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. Like a flashlight up the keister or a pussy light-saber. You know, you could totally lose the condoms with something like that.
Noted felon Dinesh D’Souza oh-so-cleverly and un-self-awary using “beclown” to put down anyone else is the event horizon of cringeworthiness. The universe is going to collapse into a singularity of “Three’s Company” era Don Knotts, only without the quiet dignity.
I was at first concerned that Ben Shapiro's lines didn't have the helpful stage direction "(like a coked-up chipmunk)", but was relieved to see that the writing was so perfectly attuned, that it wasn't necessary. When will I ever learn!?