I got my head out the hardcore

It's blasting our favorite rubes

[Hardcore! The fascist emails that get Grandpa to send your inheritance to a post office box in South Dakota! You know the drill!]

YOU’LL BE SPEECHLESS WHEN YOU SEE WHAT LINE TUCKER CARLSON SAID JOE BIDEN CROSSED (American Patriot Daily)

I will? Why? If I’m getting “American Patriot Daily” I probably would not be surprised by anything Carlson said about Biden. If he said Biden was the Devil Incarnate I’d think, hmmm, Carlson’s mellowing with age.

Tucker Carlson was furious.

No one could believe Joe Biden would do this.

And you’ll be speechless when you see what line Tucker Carlson said Joe Biden crossed.

Must have been what we call in the news business a “slow propaganda day.”

Tucker Carlson slammed Joe Biden for creating a Disinformation Governance Board that is straight out of George Orwell’s “1984.”

Ah yes — in a world self-evidently full of malicious disinformation, most of it from rightwing operatives, the Department of Homeland Security said it would investigate such disinformation, then was cowed out of doing so by the disinformers – just as happened in 2009, when the same Department announced it would investigate rightwing terrorist groups, which they were also cowed out of doing (and which time and events have shown needed investigating very badly).

Anyway APD repeats a bunch of standard-issue Carlson bullshit about how Biden is senile and also an iron-fisted dictator, and just possibly Grandpa has forgotten seeing it the first time or just finds himself luxuriating crapulently in its endless repetition by what is, in his world, a reputable Hardcore outlet. So it was worth the small stipend (a brown bag lunch and a Groupon?) APD paid someone to post it, I guess.

Biden Orders US Dollar Replaced with Trackable “Spyware” Version (Keep America Great News)

I don’t spend as much time as I should, probably, talking about how often Hardcore newsletters link to pages that don’t even try to look like news. This “Keep America Great News” email has traditional newsholes, but they go to the kind of grifts that usually appear on pop-unders or pop-overs at Hardcore news sites — for instance, there’s a “WOW! Dr. Oz Drops Bombshell on Live TV” breaker which turns out to link to exactly the kind of Dr. Oz snake-oil pitch (“Dr. Oz Battles Big Pharma Over Medical Breakthrough Discovery! Says ‘This WILL NOT Be Banned, The American Public Has a Right To Access This!’”) that won the famous fraud the GOP Pennsylvania Senatorial nomination.

This one links to a video of the waxy Jim Rickards, perennial financial network talking head and author of The Death of Money: The Coming Collapse of the International Monetary System (published in… 2014; well, better late than never!), asking, over spooky music and ominous images, “Where were you on March 9, 2022 when President Biden signed the death warrant on American freedom?” Turns out he’s talking about Executive Order 14067, which charges DOJ with investigation of digital assets — that is, crypto, which is very clearly a rat’s nest of fraud and needs monitoring.

Rickards doesn’t see it that way, of course; the EO, he says, “the most treacherous act by a sitting president in the history of our republic” because it will call down “legal government surveillance of all U.S. citizens.”

IKR — where have we heard that one before? But if amyloid plaque prevents Gramps from remembering the Deep State is already surveilling the shit out of him and that’s why he bought thirteen Trump Coins to protect himself, Rickards announces it is “my duty to pull the alarm” because thanks to Biden’s treason “the U.S. dollar will be made obsolete… your cash will be confiscated or will simply be worthless paper.”

Now, you and I who have to live and work in this damn country know credit checks and scores already absolutely rule everything — you can’t get a house, an apartment, a car, hell, even a job with just cash in your pocket! — and cash will go obsolete when the 1% no longer need it to conceal their own fraudulent and illicit transactions and not a second sooner (or later). Even Gramps must know his social security and pension payments have nothing to do with cash.

But Gramps is sentimental about his simoleons, they remind him of his younger days when cash was king and his pay came in envelopes, and if he takes They Are Coming For Your Dollars as seriously as he takes They Are Coming For Your Guns (and why wouldn’t he? This well-dressed gent was on CNBC!) he will equate the threat with the damn hippies who are making his grandkids trans and n-word-lovers, and swallow it whole.

“Every digital dollar will be programmed by the government,” Rickards claims. “That means they will be able to ‘turn on’ or ‘turn off’ your money at will.” Sounds bad! “And they’ll be able to track every purchase you make.” So… like a bank, then? This sounds like what a bank does… oh, right: Deep State.

Also: “This is very different from crypto.” How much you want to bet Rickards is in up to his eyeballs — not in crypto itself (he’s no dummy!) but in companies that ride the rise and fall of its bogus markets?

Rickards goes on to tell us that, with the help of “AOC,” the Dems will now be able to punish social media comments they don’t like — which seems weird, since Gramps has been told every day for years by his Hardcore emails that the Democrats are already doing that.

But my apologies, I didn’t listen all the way to the end — maybe Gramps is trained by years of sitting in time-share and real-estate-scam demos to last through to the pitch, but I, for better or worse, am not.  So here, have the transcript where Rickards goes really deep down the rabbit hole to the Federal Reserve Act of 1934, per Rickards the “shocking act of fascism” by which “Democrat President Roosevelt ordered all US citizens to hand in their gold,” thus leading inexorably to “Biden Bucks spyware.”

Inevitably, the pitch: “Asset Emancipation.” (Sounds like a grifter’s inside joke, doesn’t it?) But you have to “act now.” If you do, you’ll get the prospectus “FREE… And be in a position of power compared to others who don’t have your knowledge.” If Gramps got this far and can remember his PIN number, it’s a cinch Rickards will make a sale. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in this country if you haven’t got a conscience.

Bonus: Rickards throws in something called “How To Make Your Home Your Personal Fortress.” Paranoia strikes deep!

David Hogg Threw A Tantrum So Bad That Congressional Security Had To Drag Him Out! [VIDEO] (Daily Headlines)

During a hearing on assault weapons, Rep. Andy Biggs claimed these killing machines were needed to deal with the Mexican “invasion” shitheels like him are always spinning fantasies about, and mass-murder survivor and gun-control activist Hogg stood up and interrupted the hearing (“You are reiterating the points of mass shooters in your manifesto. The shooter at my high school: antisemitic, anti-Black and racist. The shooter in El Paso described it as an invasion”), presumably so that Biggs’ racist bullshit might get covered in the papers instead of just receding into the great morass of bigot gibberish that is Republican discourse. To describe Hogg’s righteous indignation and plainly intentional tactic as a tantrum is to announce one’s own fecal tumescence, and perhaps earn a bonus (another apple in your brown bag lunch? A Trump coin?) from Hardcore Central.