I saw the Clay Travis brouhaha on twitter, and all I could think of was a bunch of homophobic rightwing men hankering after an ice cream cone but too frightened to buy one on their own. So they stand outside the ice cream parlor offering random women money to go inside with them like it's the 1970's, they are trying to get into Studio 54, and they know they have a better chance of admittance as a couple than as a single guy.
I'm always surprised by men who think things like "[ordinary activity] is gay!" First of all, are you so emotionally stunted that you're stuck in fourth grade? Second of all, are you so insecure that you think someone is going to define your sexuality by [ordinary activity]? Third, shut up, grow up, and get a life.
Beer, Disney, ice cream, football, and sex are all gay. The only things that aren't gay are marching in your bespoke, replica SS uniform and voting for Trump -- although voting itself is also a little gay.
Voting is TOTALLY gay, spread the word before Nov. 5! Fillin' in those sissy little ovals with your faggoty marker. Real men would SHOOT the holes out at 50 paces.
Storming your local polling place armed with heavy artillery, knocking over voting machines, and writing TRUMP on the wall in blood is probably *not* gay, but let's not give them any ideas. I expect Nov. 5th, 6th, etc. etc. to be grisly enough anyway.
We were there two years ago, I'm afraid — when Nick Fuentes claimed that him being a virgin & never having had a girlfriend made him the straightest of all.
As you may know, there's a subset of gay hookup solicitations that specify, forcefully, that there's nothing gay about what they're proposing and no gay men should reply. Just two guys having sex.
While we're asking rhetorical questions, is there an actual gay man on the planet who spends as much time thinking about gay sex as your average red state GOP state legislator?
A few years ago, the guy I work for developed a business arrangement with a rental car company owned by a gay couple. One morning we were talking about having them do something and my boss started wondering "who's the top" in their relationship. So I asked my boss if he spent that much time wondering about the sexual habits of straight couple he knows. You could see the clockworks in his head suddenly stop. After thinking about it for a good 15 seconds, he allowed as how, no, he doesn't really think about what straight couples do in bed.
If it's like an ice cream sundae and it comes with a maraschino cherry that's got a big long stem and if you're a guy with a bunch of other guys and you start tying and untying knots in the cherry stem with your tongue in front of the other guys, you know, showing off, that might be considered gay.
LOL. I can’t help laughing at a lot of the self-policing around masculinity. I remember when I first found out men don’t like to talk to each other in the men’s room – like two guys in an office who know each other and would otherwise chat don’t talk once they enter the room with “MEN” on the door. I always found that hilarious, because women will chatter away to complete strangers in the ladies’ room even though we might not start a conversation with each other elsewhere. It’s like the complete opposite.
I had an 88 *Audi 5000. 5 cylinder with a 5-speed manual transmission.. It had a hydraulic clutch was a pain in the ass to bleed because you had to do it all of the time. That car was badass. I looked really good in it.
In the early eighties my boss at Flatline, Comatose, Torpor & Drowse took up a position at the adjacent urinal in the third-floor convenience. “Nice profile,” he growled. 𝗠𝗲 (𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥): “I beg your pardon?” 𝗕𝗼𝘀𝘀: “I said, you got a nice profile. Beard spoils it though. You should shave it off.” 𝗠𝗲: “(noncommittal murmur.)”
That’s the longest exchange I can recall from that sort of venue. The boss retired a couple of years later without ever having glimpsed my naked chin, poor guy.
Men are weird, bosses doubly so. There are reasons we don't usually talk at the pee station. Old stadia had a big ceramic trough for dudes to pee in back in the day, rather than the individual stalls of today. Many young dudes use the regular toilet stalls to pee these days. Probably that is TMI
I always figured the best method was get, do my business, and get out. Talking got in the way of the "doing my business", hahahaha!
My partner told me about a time her then-BF went into a bathroom in a Barnes & Noble, and as he was unbuckling his belt, he saw the other person in the bathroom was standing at a urinal with his pants down around his ankles, slowly banging his head against the wall and mumbling. He promptly turned around, and bailed. On hearing this story, she said, "I didn't think that was normal bathroom etiquette?" "It's NOT!"
Yeah, no, I've legit been that guy at the urinal more than once at shitty retail jobs. Some customer probably unloaded on him because he couldn't figure out what book they wanted based on "there was a dog on the cover". He definitely wanted to be alone with his misery at that moment.
Hahaha! Yeah, I definitely get that as a scenario. Customers can be incredibly frustrating! This time the guy at the urinal was the "customer", and the guy who took that scene in and said "Nope!" was the employee.
Another B&N story he had: A kid (15-ish) asked in what section he could find a Simpsons book, and several minutes later came back and scornfully told him "I looked all over the horror section and couldn't find any Simpsons books." He replied, "Huuuuuumor..." Another scornful look, and "Same difference."
"Self-policing" makes me wonder if Mike Johnson and his son share an app that they activate upon stepping into a public restroom, to ward off the temptation to remark on the weather or last night's game (last night's game borders on acceptable, but not, for the sake of Our Lord Jesus, in the men's room).
Making the anodyne antithetical--that's what we've come to both admire and expect from the Right! I'm old enough to recall Barack Obama mentioning that kids should stay in school and graduate . . . only to have the howler monkeys on the Right screech that expecting people to graduate high school is the height of elitism. (Well do I remember seeing Rick Santorum on CNN yakking about how out-of-touch and elitist Obama is because Santorum's grandfather was an illiterate coal miner and why does the president hate coal miners?)
I'm also old enough to recall Michelle Obama saying that kids should be eating healthy foods and not loads of sugar, salt, and fat . . . only to have the howler monkeys scream about elitism once again.
And so here we are, with the howler monkeys now screeching about ice cream cones. I'll bet there are tens of millions of people who do not follow this stuff, and if you told them Republicans are outraged by Joe Biden eating ice cream, they'd either think you were lying or had lost your marbles.
Thanks for bringing howler monkeys into the discourse, 'cause we were surrounded by howlers monkeys a couple days ago...a little awkward, as we were eating ice cream* cones at the time.
Obama further affirmed his outrageous elitism by recommending higher education in a speech at the NH community college where my youngest son was earning an AA degree and certification as a Honda technician.
Have you seen the website that posts research about NH's industrial history? Set up by a local college. It is beyond fascinating (and has reminders of the commercial disasters our little California factory managed to weather).
Somewhere I have a tetrahedron formed by 4 – 3/8" steel balls that have been welded together. This was done as a standard test of heat resistance of lubricants, accomplished via spinning 3 of the 4 in a cup at extremely high speeds while the 4th is held stationary in a chuck. When the lube fails (via evaporation) all the balls weld together instantly. The heat at weldpoint is recorded to rate the lube.
The refinery had buckets full of tetrahedrons to give away as souvenirs.
Here in the American South every state has an Institute of Technology, an Agricultural and Mechanical College, or both.
Invariably they were established as a result of their failure to develop an industrial base prior to the Civil War, and the disasters that followed Secession.
I believe Mr. Rhett Butler had some very salient comments on this very point, made in conversation with other Southern Gentlemen in the library at Tara. "Why, suh, a southern gentleman is worth any TEN Yankee conscripts!" was the reply. They sure showed him.
There was a legal opinion back in the late 90s - details fail me but I swear it was in NY - that certain people (possibly even Certain People) didn't merit higher education and shouldn't be allowed anything past 6th grade.
Turkey Hill Dutch chocolate ice cream is the best ice cream of all. It used to be the value price brand at Kroger's, and everybody caught onto it's goodness and it became a hipster thing and the price doubled. I think we can safely blame Joe Biden for that.
The Bunny is nationwide! My mother-in-law bought a box of their ice cream sandwiches by mistake back in the mid-90s when we were in Florida. I thought they were some cheap store brand. Ate one, became addicted instantly. They're like crack, but worse because I can buy them anywhere and any time.
They’re a staple around here. Good stuff, though made in the very reddest part of Iowa, the heavily Dutch Reformed counties in the northwest part of the state.
If you’re ever in Le Mars, Iowa, for ice cream, be sure to go to Archie’s Waeside steakhouse. It won a James Beard award (!).
Speaking of Iowa, if you’re a fan of civic architecture, check out Iowa’s county courthouses. Many of them are from a golden age of civic architecture, with the country courthouse at a green area in the town square—literally in the center of town (especially true of the smaller population counties). In particular check out the courthouses for Dubuque, Sioux, Woodbury, Polk, and Clinton—though you could pick almost any county. Lots of Richardsonian Romanesque going on!
"If one year's supply of America's ice cream sandwiches were lined up end to end," that would be inexcusable. Plus they'd be melting. People and animals stealing sandwiches all along the line. Impossible, I say.
Sorry, but I am repelled by the name. Turkeys are filthy creatures when confined to a turkey farm* and I imagine a "turkey hill" is what you get if you don't shovel out the barn often enough.
*I can tolerate them in small numbers if I come across some during a walk in the woods, although I'm careful where I step.
I knew a couple in the seventies who related a summer gig they’d once shared on a turkey farm. Part of their duties included, um, assisting the procreative process, because the commercial variant of the fowl is apparently too pea-brained and/or too portly to meet the output requirements of industrial husbandry absent ill-paid human help. I’d relate the details as I dimly remember them, but it might put you right off Thanksgiving.
A couple of years ago they pretty much took over downtown Wauwatosa, WI. Stopped traffic all the time. Could they fly? I don't know, they never needed to.
Yeah, if you drive through the UW Arboretum you're likely to be stopped by a line of turkeys crossing the road. I always laugh when one in the middle of the line changes their mind, turns around and goes back, then changes their mind again in the middle of the street and returns to join the group. No hurry, take your time.
You know how squirrels will go 50% of the way across the road before turning around and scampering back? Turkeys will go 99% of the way across the road before going back.
They do like to roost in trees, just high enough above the ground so the local coyotes can't get them while they nap. So yeah, they can "fly" enough to get up to a low-hanging tree branch. I kind of admire them for that, an inspiration to those of us who do the bare minimum just to get by.
TJ’s “Coffee Blast” ice cream, to which I was introduced only this past weekend—my treacherous friends and relatives have been holding out on me—is the new household favorite, although of course I would never permit myself to be photographed eating it out of a cone.
Mom's legacy lives on in my addiction to Moose Tracks, vanilla fudge swirl ice cream with tiny peanut butter cups imbedded within. To my dismay I often have to settle for Freedom Vanilla* as Joss expects the ice cream remnant in the bowl when I finish, as with breakfast corn flakes & milk.
*Periodic reminder I will NOT let the bastards EVER live down Freedom Fries as long as I draw breath on God's grey Earth.
Roy, your offering today took me back to 1981, when I was but a lass of 16, working as a fountain girl at a local dairy store with a soda fountain. I served many an ice cream cone to men, women, children, entire families. I suppose we should be grateful that the Commander in Chief didn't order a banana split. Imagine the outcry 🤣
PS: had he done so, I'd have been happy to prepare it. I made a mean nanner split at 16 😜
Working at Baskin Robbins was mostly forgettable. One day, though, a man with a turban came in. From India or the Middle East - who knows, I was a kid, I wouldn't have known the difference. He had an accent. And he asks - this is why I never forgot - he asks, "what is fudge?"
But Reagan could joke about nuking Russia, then pop a couple jellybeans and Bolt & crew would chuckle and nod approvingly about his common touch. Well, maybe not Dramaturgy. He hates the proles.
Can you imagine an aide trying to explain Navajo code talkers to Trump? How do you turn that into bullet points? Do you explain wartime cryptography? The relative scarcity of people who speak Diné bizaad?
"Navajos. I call them Indians. Like Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas. Whatever happened to Jim Thorpe? Nobody remembers Jim Thorpe."
In his CPAC speech, he claimed his free-association rambling was a sign of "pure genius." And he doesn't need to be TOLD anything about Navaho code-talkers, being a genius means you already know everything. You can make any sentence you want just out of the contents of your enormous... ah... BRAIN.
Well, to be fair, most of us aren't allowed to ramble on like he does, when everyone in the subway car moves to the other end, we usually shut up. Maybe we're ALL geniuses, but we can't show it because we're being SILENCED.
When Jim Thorpe received his Olympic Gold in 1912, the King of Sweden congratulated him and said he was the greatest athlete in the world. Thorpe responded with, "Thanks, King"
Later, Avery Brundage, the racist that Thorpe beat in the decathalon like a rented mule, got the IOC to rescind Thorpe's medals
Getting two scoops when everyone else gets one indicates one of two things. Either (1) You have been chosen by the Lord God to rule over all creation until the end of days, or (2) You are the Birthday Boy.
Yes; with all due respect to Philip Gossett, sometimes I think we would be better off if the U of C were razed to the ground and its campus sown with salt.
Gotta understand--U of C is located in the middle of a majority Black neighborhood, and every time it expands it displaces thousands of Black people. Which is its (unstated) second purpose, whatever its first purpose purports to be.
University of Illinois, Chicago (which I grew up calling "Circle Campus") flattened a vibrant mixed neighborhood on the Near West side to get built. They *do* this. On purpose.
I spent a year living on 57h in Hyde Park, trying to learn how to be a teacher at Enrico Fermi Elementary near the U of C campus. And no, the kids didn't know who Fermi was, and the U of C had no interesting in educating them, on that or any other subject. This prestigious university might as well have been on the moon, for all the good it did the surrounding community.
More than a million dead from Covid, helped along by "You ain't the boss o' me and you cain't make me wear no dang mask" and "Git yer nanobots vaccine outta here!"
A penguin is having car trouble. Takes the car to a mechanic. Guy says "come back in an hour." Penguin hits the sidewalk, wastes some time, notices an ice cream shop. Buys a double scoop and gobbles it all messy like.
Back at the shop, the mechanic says "looks like you blew a seal."
I think the proper way to see it is BIDEN TAKES HIS JOB SO SERIOUSLY THAT HE EVEN DEALS WITH THE MANY ISSUES FACING THE WORLD WHILE ON A (WELL-EARNED) ICE CREAM BREAK.
I also think fox "news" is upset because Biden can manage a cone with one hand, while the orange anus can't even manage that with a glass of water.
I try to give the Chick-fil-A down the road from my old (shitty) place the finger every time I pass it.
Meanwhile there was a story last night in the news about, I think it was, some guy at NBC who his co-workers dissed because he liked Chick-fil-A and OMFG LIBERAL DEI ELITES BLM CRT WEF FBI FAP FAP FAP und so weiter.
Staying in work camps during engineering projects up north, I remember meeting manly men — who were not at all conflicted, over-compensating douchebros — who thought eating salad (rabbit food) or doing your own laundry (women’s work) were gay.
I owned a Japanese truck and, being a city boy, never quite mastered fluent bush, so I was often considered suspect from the get-go.
Fellas, is it gay to eat ice cream?
I saw the Clay Travis brouhaha on twitter, and all I could think of was a bunch of homophobic rightwing men hankering after an ice cream cone but too frightened to buy one on their own. So they stand outside the ice cream parlor offering random women money to go inside with them like it's the 1970's, they are trying to get into Studio 54, and they know they have a better chance of admittance as a couple than as a single guy.
I'm always surprised by men who think things like "[ordinary activity] is gay!" First of all, are you so emotionally stunted that you're stuck in fourth grade? Second of all, are you so insecure that you think someone is going to define your sexuality by [ordinary activity]? Third, shut up, grow up, and get a life.
Pitiful —
To your first and second questions, yes. To your third statement, I concur.
Why not all...uhmm...5?
Judging by some of the reaction to Biden's comments the other day, we have reached the "heterosexual sex is gay!" stage.
Nick Fuentes got there first: https://cashmeremag.com/nick-fuentes-gay-sex-women-incel-1203177/
oops -- my bad :)
He denies them the purity of his essence.
And so far, not a single woman has complained about a lack of Essence of Fuentes.
Maybe the Essence of Tito Fuentes they might complain about the lack, but probably not Nick
Beer, Disney, ice cream, football, and sex are all gay. The only things that aren't gay are marching in your bespoke, replica SS uniform and voting for Trump -- although voting itself is also a little gay.
Aw, putsch your money where your mouth is. Oh, wait…
Voting is TOTALLY gay, spread the word before Nov. 5! Fillin' in those sissy little ovals with your faggoty marker. Real men would SHOOT the holes out at 50 paces.
Storming your local polling place armed with heavy artillery, knocking over voting machines, and writing TRUMP on the wall in blood is probably *not* gay, but let's not give them any ideas. I expect Nov. 5th, 6th, etc. etc. to be grisly enough anyway.
Careful--writing anything on a wall in blood is perilously close to painting, than which it can't get gayer.
We were there two years ago, I'm afraid — when Nick Fuentes claimed that him being a virgin & never having had a girlfriend made him the straightest of all.
I remain convinced that alot of these guys would benefit from normal relations with a partner. After awhile it's too late. And pity the poor partner.
But some people turn out fine without romance, sex, partnership. I don't know how, but they do. Preference? Wisdom?
Well, they have been known to give each other blowjobs - not GAY ones, mind you.
As you may know, there's a subset of gay hookup solicitations that specify, forcefully, that there's nothing gay about what they're proposing and no gay men should reply. Just two guys having sex.
https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
I don't know how you guys with girlfriends/wives do it. Preference? Wisdom?
So you're saying you're not a 25-year-old neo-nazi Incel.
Prince wore assless lace chaps, and he was notably popular with the ladies. A secure, confident heterosexual man.
Fourth - it must be stuffy as hell in that closet.
Fifth -- two wetsuits and a dildo must be involved.
Fourth grade is pushing it for some of these assclowns .
While we're asking rhetorical questions, is there an actual gay man on the planet who spends as much time thinking about gay sex as your average red state GOP state legislator?
A few years ago, the guy I work for developed a business arrangement with a rental car company owned by a gay couple. One morning we were talking about having them do something and my boss started wondering "who's the top" in their relationship. So I asked my boss if he spent that much time wondering about the sexual habits of straight couple he knows. You could see the clockworks in his head suddenly stop. After thinking about it for a good 15 seconds, he allowed as how, no, he doesn't really think about what straight couples do in bed.
He's never mentioned it again.
Well?
Who WAS top?
If it's like an ice cream sundae and it comes with a maraschino cherry that's got a big long stem and if you're a guy with a bunch of other guys and you start tying and untying knots in the cherry stem with your tongue in front of the other guys, you know, showing off, that might be considered gay.
LOL. I can’t help laughing at a lot of the self-policing around masculinity. I remember when I first found out men don’t like to talk to each other in the men’s room – like two guys in an office who know each other and would otherwise chat don’t talk once they enter the room with “MEN” on the door. I always found that hilarious, because women will chatter away to complete strangers in the ladies’ room even though we might not start a conversation with each other elsewhere. It’s like the complete opposite.
I had no idea.
Someone starts talking to me from the next stall I'm Audi 5000. I figured the guy next door must be some kind of wide stance Republican.
Whistling all the way.
Oh, and I hadda goog "Audi 5000" because of course I did, and found this first:
"In North America, where 133,512 of the Audi 5000 C2s were sold, only five cylinder engines were available."
The other 133,507 Audi 5000s were equipped with what, exactly?
I had an 88 *Audi 5000. 5 cylinder with a 5-speed manual transmission.. It had a hydraulic clutch was a pain in the ass to bleed because you had to do it all of the time. That car was badass. I looked really good in it.
* The best year ever for Nazi cars.
Well, not cylinder engines, certainly. What other Platonic solid can you make an engine out of?
I stick to basic small talk, like, "Waters cold" and "Deep, too."
After which you hit bottom...
"Where the vegetables are green
And you can pee into the stream!"
Back to the shadows again....
Out where a friend is a friend (if you know what I mean, etc)
“And that’s important!”
full of country goodness and green peaness
We know a small stream in Indiana, where Mr. Buckley lives. In July, pee flows there
"Eyes straight ahead, please."
LOL. Men are so strange.
Hearted for the truth AND the laugh.
In the early eighties my boss at Flatline, Comatose, Torpor & Drowse took up a position at the adjacent urinal in the third-floor convenience. “Nice profile,” he growled. 𝗠𝗲 (𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥): “I beg your pardon?” 𝗕𝗼𝘀𝘀: “I said, you got a nice profile. Beard spoils it though. You should shave it off.” 𝗠𝗲: “(noncommittal murmur.)”
That’s the longest exchange I can recall from that sort of venue. The boss retired a couple of years later without ever having glimpsed my naked chin, poor guy.
Sorry, but that IS weird.
Men are weird, bosses doubly so. There are reasons we don't usually talk at the pee station. Old stadia had a big ceramic trough for dudes to pee in back in the day, rather than the individual stalls of today. Many young dudes use the regular toilet stalls to pee these days. Probably that is TMI
I always figured the best method was get, do my business, and get out. Talking got in the way of the "doing my business", hahahaha!
My partner told me about a time her then-BF went into a bathroom in a Barnes & Noble, and as he was unbuckling his belt, he saw the other person in the bathroom was standing at a urinal with his pants down around his ankles, slowly banging his head against the wall and mumbling. He promptly turned around, and bailed. On hearing this story, she said, "I didn't think that was normal bathroom etiquette?" "It's NOT!"
Yeah, no, I've legit been that guy at the urinal more than once at shitty retail jobs. Some customer probably unloaded on him because he couldn't figure out what book they wanted based on "there was a dog on the cover". He definitely wanted to be alone with his misery at that moment.
Hahaha! Yeah, I definitely get that as a scenario. Customers can be incredibly frustrating! This time the guy at the urinal was the "customer", and the guy who took that scene in and said "Nope!" was the employee.
Another B&N story he had: A kid (15-ish) asked in what section he could find a Simpsons book, and several minutes later came back and scornfully told him "I looked all over the horror section and couldn't find any Simpsons books." He replied, "Huuuuuumor..." Another scornful look, and "Same difference."
"Self-policing" makes me wonder if Mike Johnson and his son share an app that they activate upon stepping into a public restroom, to ward off the temptation to remark on the weather or last night's game (last night's game borders on acceptable, but not, for the sake of Our Lord Jesus, in the men's room).
Covenant Peeners
Afraid what holding a cone of ice cream will do to their image as a man, yet they wear that ridiculous trump gear and buy the "trumpie Bears".
Imagine the poor kids whose parents buy all that stuff. The books, bears, bobble-heads. Your bedroom a shrine.
Fuuuuuuck I'd forgotten about Trumpy Bear.
Or they're 14 and they're offering the bum $5 to go in the liquor store and buy them some Boones Farm.
If Clay Travis is not a country singer he should be because it's agin' the laws of Man and Nature to have a name like Clay Travis and not be.
But being a professional singer--even a country singer--is so gay. Leon Kass would not approve.
Johnny Cash wasn't gay until he sang that Nine Inch Nails song.
Johnny Cash was what Hank Williams Jr. only WISHES he could be.
He sang AND he had sex with women. Obviously gay.
Tray Clavis -- that also works.
as does Travis Clay
Optional musical accompaniment to this excellent post.
https://youtu.be/beTsDOBRs8I?si=nKCMQP2dhAWuRfzc
OMG...where have I been?
Love Weird’s Joan Jett grt up!
'A grown man shouldn't commit treason either', said somewag on reddit...
Which does not diminish the luster of CHAFE (Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em) DRAMATURGY's suit.
But
[Long pause, in which only the distant guffaws of stage crew can be heard.]
Your public DEMANDS that you invite Distant Guffaws to the show, Bolt!
2 marks all 'round!
Oh. And "Maybe Peoni would like to address Buff’s point."
Hard.
Pass.
Making the anodyne antithetical--that's what we've come to both admire and expect from the Right! I'm old enough to recall Barack Obama mentioning that kids should stay in school and graduate . . . only to have the howler monkeys on the Right screech that expecting people to graduate high school is the height of elitism. (Well do I remember seeing Rick Santorum on CNN yakking about how out-of-touch and elitist Obama is because Santorum's grandfather was an illiterate coal miner and why does the president hate coal miners?)
I'm also old enough to recall Michelle Obama saying that kids should be eating healthy foods and not loads of sugar, salt, and fat . . . only to have the howler monkeys scream about elitism once again.
And so here we are, with the howler monkeys now screeching about ice cream cones. I'll bet there are tens of millions of people who do not follow this stuff, and if you told them Republicans are outraged by Joe Biden eating ice cream, they'd either think you were lying or had lost your marbles.
Thanks for bringing howler monkeys into the discourse, 'cause we were surrounded by howlers monkeys a couple days ago...a little awkward, as we were eating ice cream* cones at the time.
*Mr Whippy!. Why do you ask?
Obama further affirmed his outrageous elitism by recommending higher education in a speech at the NH community college where my youngest son was earning an AA degree and certification as a Honda technician.
higher education to the right being post 5th grade.
Yeah. Once Sly sang he wanted to take us HIGHER! the right said nope nope nope.
"Take your places, I want to take you higher."
You’re highered!
And look what's happened -- some of the those 13 year old girls are more interested in school than in having white babies for The Cause!
Fourteen Words is all you gotta learn, miss.
Have you seen the website that posts research about NH's industrial history? Set up by a local college. It is beyond fascinating (and has reminders of the commercial disasters our little California factory managed to weather).
Link pls
Your command, my response:
https://industrialsurvival.wordpress.com/
It has fleshed out lots since I last looked at it.
Tech colleges seem to inhabit that sweet spot where EVERYBODY loves us. Republicans, because they think all we teach is welding.
*touches earpiece* I'm being reliably informed that welding is *not* gay.
Right. But those masks have potential, if you ask me.
Caveat: does not apply when a sculptor does it.
Promise you won't tell that, while learning to fix cars, my son took an art history class!
We will never speak of this again.
MIG, TIG, even plasma welding!
We are big on friction stir welding at my school
Somewhere I have a tetrahedron formed by 4 – 3/8" steel balls that have been welded together. This was done as a standard test of heat resistance of lubricants, accomplished via spinning 3 of the 4 in a cup at extremely high speeds while the 4th is held stationary in a chuck. When the lube fails (via evaporation) all the balls weld together instantly. The heat at weldpoint is recorded to rate the lube.
The refinery had buckets full of tetrahedrons to give away as souvenirs.
The mere conjunction of lube and balls makes this story TEH GHEY.
Here in the American South every state has an Institute of Technology, an Agricultural and Mechanical College, or both.
Invariably they were established as a result of their failure to develop an industrial base prior to the Civil War, and the disasters that followed Secession.
I believe Mr. Rhett Butler had some very salient comments on this very point, made in conversation with other Southern Gentlemen in the library at Tara. "Why, suh, a southern gentleman is worth any TEN Yankee conscripts!" was the reply. They sure showed him.
We all know you teach math, which is obviously suspect.
There was a legal opinion back in the late 90s - details fail me but I swear it was in NY - that certain people (possibly even Certain People) didn't merit higher education and shouldn't be allowed anything past 6th grade.
You're clearly forgetting that Michelle Obama was FORCING vegetables DOWN OUR THROATS. (Long, sleek, green zucchinis, no doubt.)
Turkey Hill Dutch chocolate ice cream is the best ice cream of all. It used to be the value price brand at Kroger's, and everybody caught onto it's goodness and it became a hipster thing and the price doubled. I think we can safely blame Joe Biden for that.
" Chortle " is an interesting word !
https://www.cjr.org/language_corner/chortle.php
Do you have a coffee table full of fashion magazines at home?
This was really funny- Thanks!
Blue Bunny ice cream sandwiches are the best. Fight me.
I bring receipts
https://youtu.be/Qtn6HqFX0WA?si=BK6jnm0oSRnFR7la
It's Its. San Francisco will not be denied. Was even foundational (or at least adjacent) to my future career(s).
Crucial edit: Manly As Fuck.
Replying on behalf of Bruster's: https://brusters.com/
McConnells or nothing!
I'd only fight you to take away your Blue Bunny ice cream sandwich. Yum.
No need to fight! I will gladly share because we're on our way to the store to buy more!
Blue Bunnies are so gay
Hey, even bunnies get to feeling down once in a while. If you were one of thirteen children you'd understand.
O.076923076923076923... mark!
Math checks out.
I didn’t know Blue Bunny existed beyond the general region around northwest Iowa.
The Bunny is nationwide! My mother-in-law bought a box of their ice cream sandwiches by mistake back in the mid-90s when we were in Florida. I thought they were some cheap store brand. Ate one, became addicted instantly. They're like crack, but worse because I can buy them anywhere and any time.
They’re a staple around here. Good stuff, though made in the very reddest part of Iowa, the heavily Dutch Reformed counties in the northwest part of the state.
If you’re ever in Le Mars, Iowa, for ice cream, be sure to go to Archie’s Waeside steakhouse. It won a James Beard award (!).
Speaking of Iowa, if you’re a fan of civic architecture, check out Iowa’s county courthouses. Many of them are from a golden age of civic architecture, with the country courthouse at a green area in the town square—literally in the center of town (especially true of the smaller population counties). In particular check out the courthouses for Dubuque, Sioux, Woodbury, Polk, and Clinton—though you could pick almost any county. Lots of Richardsonian Romanesque going on!
The Courthouses of Clinton County soon to be a Major Motion Picture.
The Woodbury courthouse (Sioux City) is Prairie Style with elements of Art Deco and fantastic period murals inside.
Small towns in Texas have great old courthouses/county seat buildings. Although it's looking a lot like I'll never set foot in the state again.
Whoever invented ice cream sandwiches was a genius. Probably American.
I always figured it was some Earl, who just wanted some ice cream while he was at the gaming table.
https://www.tastingtable.com/923291/the-historic-evolution-of-the-ice-cream-sandwich/
"If one year's supply of America's ice cream sandwiches were lined up end to end," that would be inexcusable. Plus they'd be melting. People and animals stealing sandwiches all along the line. Impossible, I say.
Meanwhile the Choco Taco was discontinued and I haven't been the same since.
Choco Tacos were great back when I could eat sugar
Have you encountered the Fat Boy brand ice cream sandwiches? Not available everywhere, but highly recommended.
I resent the name but that doesn't deter me from eating them.
I figure since I'm not a boy, I don't have to worry about the fat part.
"since I'm not a boy"
THAT CAN BE CHANGED
"A factitious word"
Sorry, but I am repelled by the name. Turkeys are filthy creatures when confined to a turkey farm* and I imagine a "turkey hill" is what you get if you don't shovel out the barn often enough.
*I can tolerate them in small numbers if I come across some during a walk in the woods, although I'm careful where I step.
I knew a couple in the seventies who related a summer gig they’d once shared on a turkey farm. Part of their duties included, um, assisting the procreative process, because the commercial variant of the fowl is apparently too pea-brained and/or too portly to meet the output requirements of industrial husbandry absent ill-paid human help. I’d relate the details as I dimly remember them, but it might put you right off Thanksgiving.
A couple of years ago they pretty much took over downtown Wauwatosa, WI. Stopped traffic all the time. Could they fly? I don't know, they never needed to.
Yeah, if you drive through the UW Arboretum you're likely to be stopped by a line of turkeys crossing the road. I always laugh when one in the middle of the line changes their mind, turns around and goes back, then changes their mind again in the middle of the street and returns to join the group. No hurry, take your time.
You know how squirrels will go 50% of the way across the road before turning around and scampering back? Turkeys will go 99% of the way across the road before going back.
Also: https://youtu.be/Cg1VzxaKxuc?si=8YvDe_V4KuNjNTBp&t=76
Turkeys will also circle a dead cat on the roaD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KLt81iVEgo
That is just plain weird.
"Honey, where's the dead cat?"
"In the soap dish."
Hey, I don't blame him, I've been there.
Can I just add…YOICKS!
They do like to roost in trees, just high enough above the ground so the local coyotes can't get them while they nap. So yeah, they can "fly" enough to get up to a low-hanging tree branch. I kind of admire them for that, an inspiration to those of us who do the bare minimum just to get by.
As God is my witness, I thought they could fly!
Well, they can, I suppose, they're just not very strongly motivated. Turkeys can fly like I can run.
How about when dropped from a helicopter
A potential Nobel Prize awaits you.
Insert obligatory Beaver Drop link here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrOE-m7sX9E
You shame this brand at your own peril.
I stay loyal to our local brand, Pig Hollow Ice Cream. Doesn't the name evoke images of dairy-fresh goodness?
TJ’s “Coffee Blast” ice cream, to which I was introduced only this past weekend—my treacherous friends and relatives have been holding out on me—is the new household favorite, although of course I would never permit myself to be photographed eating it out of a cone.
Hearted for Turkey Hill fanhood. Their chocolate-peanut butter, as well as the vanilla in the "natural" product line.
Mom's legacy lives on in my addiction to Moose Tracks, vanilla fudge swirl ice cream with tiny peanut butter cups imbedded within. To my dismay I often have to settle for Freedom Vanilla* as Joss expects the ice cream remnant in the bowl when I finish, as with breakfast corn flakes & milk.
*Periodic reminder I will NOT let the bastards EVER live down Freedom Fries as long as I draw breath on God's grey Earth.
Roy, your offering today took me back to 1981, when I was but a lass of 16, working as a fountain girl at a local dairy store with a soda fountain. I served many an ice cream cone to men, women, children, entire families. I suppose we should be grateful that the Commander in Chief didn't order a banana split. Imagine the outcry 🤣
PS: had he done so, I'd have been happy to prepare it. I made a mean nanner split at 16 😜
Oh, Elaine...!
Working at Baskin Robbins was mostly forgettable. One day, though, a man with a turban came in. From India or the Middle East - who knows, I was a kid, I wouldn't have known the difference. He had an accent. And he asks - this is why I never forgot - he asks, "what is fudge?"
"Good!"
That's kind of a stumper.
I know how to make fudge now, but did not as a teenager.
I wish I had thought of Iamhbomb's answer.
The Joe Lieberman twist was perfect.
The Joe Lieberman Twist is what you get at Dairy Queen if you order the vanilla soft-serve.
But Reagan could joke about nuking Russia, then pop a couple jellybeans and Bolt & crew would chuckle and nod approvingly about his common touch. Well, maybe not Dramaturgy. He hates the proles.
Dramaturgy, that frozen-cows-milk-lover, why doesn't he go suck on a teat, the pansy.
All the while conveniently forgetting my personal favorite nickname, Donnie Two-Scoops. Of all the tells, that's the most telling.
Right up there with making fun of a disabled guy in front of a crowd. Who does that?!?
Or making "Pocahontas" jokes in front of Navajo Code Talker Veterans being honored for their service...
Joking about your pal's yacht and how you could do ANYTHING there in front of a gathering of boy scouts?
And then responding to the crowd's reaction with, "Yeah, you understand...Because you understand about life."
NOT GAY, and that's what those Scouts need.
Can you imagine an aide trying to explain Navajo code talkers to Trump? How do you turn that into bullet points? Do you explain wartime cryptography? The relative scarcity of people who speak Diné bizaad?
"Navajos. I call them Indians. Like Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas. Whatever happened to Jim Thorpe? Nobody remembers Jim Thorpe."
In his CPAC speech, he claimed his free-association rambling was a sign of "pure genius." And he doesn't need to be TOLD anything about Navaho code-talkers, being a genius means you already know everything. You can make any sentence you want just out of the contents of your enormous... ah... BRAIN.
Yup: "Nobody can ramble like this." Meaning what?...
I know a schizophrenic. Nice guy. He can only ramble, very rapidly. He only has one volume, LOUD. There's always a thread, if you can hold onto it.
Sounds like a genial malfunctioning robot that just got out of prison.
Well, to be fair, most of us aren't allowed to ramble on like he does, when everyone in the subway car moves to the other end, we usually shut up. Maybe we're ALL geniuses, but we can't show it because we're being SILENCED.
"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqu_2HmHO5A
When Jim Thorpe received his Olympic Gold in 1912, the King of Sweden congratulated him and said he was the greatest athlete in the world. Thorpe responded with, "Thanks, King"
Later, Avery Brundage, the racist that Thorpe beat in the decathalon like a rented mule, got the IOC to rescind Thorpe's medals
There is a biography of Thorpe, out last year I believe, that is fascinating and so, so heartbreaking.
"God only ever intended people to speak English, that's why the Bible is written in it!"
Getting two scoops when everyone else gets one indicates one of two things. Either (1) You have been chosen by the Lord God to rule over all creation until the end of days, or (2) You are the Birthday Boy.
Jesse Watters is clearly a University of Chicago alumnus. Remember Leon Kass?
https://www.brendan-nyhan.com/blog/2008/04/leon-kass-on-ic.html
WTF? The University of Chicago has got some WEIRD people.
Yes; with all due respect to Philip Gossett, sometimes I think we would be better off if the U of C were razed to the ground and its campus sown with salt.
Gotta understand--U of C is located in the middle of a majority Black neighborhood, and every time it expands it displaces thousands of Black people. Which is its (unstated) second purpose, whatever its first purpose purports to be.
University of Illinois, Chicago (which I grew up calling "Circle Campus") flattened a vibrant mixed neighborhood on the Near West side to get built. They *do* this. On purpose.
Can’t heart won’t heart because YOICKS!
I spent a year living on 57h in Hyde Park, trying to learn how to be a teacher at Enrico Fermi Elementary near the U of C campus. And no, the kids didn't know who Fermi was, and the U of C had no interesting in educating them, on that or any other subject. This prestigious university might as well have been on the moon, for all the good it did the surrounding community.
Had anyone checked to make sure Enrico didn't leave a big stash of uranium when he left? It'd explain a few things.
"Toxic waste? Finally, we can give back to the community!"
That explains a lot about my husband.
If stupid were poison we'd all be dead.
More than a million dead from Covid, helped along by "You ain't the boss o' me and you cain't make me wear no dang mask" and "Git yer nanobots vaccine outta here!"
Stupid's just gettin' started.
A penguin is having car trouble. Takes the car to a mechanic. Guy says "come back in an hour." Penguin hits the sidewalk, wastes some time, notices an ice cream shop. Buys a double scoop and gobbles it all messy like.
Back at the shop, the mechanic says "looks like you blew a seal."
Penguin: "Nah, it's just ice cream."
Mechanic: "Bullshit, you're a dirty fag."
I think the proper way to see it is BIDEN TAKES HIS JOB SO SERIOUSLY THAT HE EVEN DEALS WITH THE MANY ISSUES FACING THE WORLD WHILE ON A (WELL-EARNED) ICE CREAM BREAK.
I also think fox "news" is upset because Biden can manage a cone with one hand, while the orange anus can't even manage that with a glass of water.
Let's see him do a glass of water ON A RAMP.
"finger-popping wokesters"
Like hey man — oppression isn't beat at all. It's like square, man....
I’m HIP!
I hate Chik-Fil-A, too
I try to give the Chick-fil-A down the road from my old (shitty) place the finger every time I pass it.
Meanwhile there was a story last night in the news about, I think it was, some guy at NBC who his co-workers dissed because he liked Chick-fil-A and OMFG LIBERAL DEI ELITES BLM CRT WEF FBI FAP FAP FAP und so weiter.
Staying in work camps during engineering projects up north, I remember meeting manly men — who were not at all conflicted, over-compensating douchebros — who thought eating salad (rabbit food) or doing your own laundry (women’s work) were gay.
I owned a Japanese truck and, being a city boy, never quite mastered fluent bush, so I was often considered suspect from the get-go.
Plus you're the kind of guy who says things like "mastered fluent bush."
I've experienced all of those things, without even being at a work camp!
It takes a cunning linguist to master fluent bush.
I left that on the cutting room floor for a reason, damnit
I'm just here for any oofs I can earn.
Oof?
But if ever did we see anything coming, it was this’n.
The oof was just there for the pickin'. But I'm not proud, there are no good oofs or bad oofs, there are just oofs.
Cunning linguists are often rewarded by coming.
A day without a Bern oof is a day without sunshine.
If I could eliminate one word from the English language that word would be optics.
Because it’s a stupid word.
But Isaac Newton!
Ooh, can we throw out "narrative" along with it?
Optics is a perfectly cromulent scientific word
Yeah, throw those college physics profs out of a job while the kids all sign up for Lesbian Dance Theory 215, typical liberal elite.