This whole fiasco is starting to sound like those cults who predict the day the world will end, then keep bumping it forward when that date arrives and nothing happens. Or like the migrant caravan that was supposed to explode in a wave of hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants streaming into the U.S. but ultimately turned out to be some desperate, displaced people straggling here and there across a thousand miles of our southern border.
This piece with its disdain and worse for working class manly men only works against the still inevitable socialist revolution. A little respect for the fuckers -- truckers, I meant truckers, dunno how I slipped there -- and next think you know, the plutocrats are powerless, our elected officials of both parties serve us and neoliberalism is dead.
Now that's not happening.
But what still cracks me up is the manly posturing of these conservative manly men -- ever more and more as they simultaneously cede more and more of their strength, as it were, to the elected officials who make them ever less powered to address what's making their lives shit. Then again, I have a documented antipathy for the entire Patrimony and somewhat likewise for mainstream lib feminism whose vision was limited to doing what med do without considering whether what Man does is in fact good or worth emulating.
"Convoy?" "BJ and the bear?" (I had to google that last title.) That's not even current pop culture, that's late 70s/early 80s pop culture! How many heroic truckers has Hollywood sold us since then? It's as though our news media collectively wanted to be Ron Burgundy and hearken back to their adolescence when Reagan was elected President, and didn't want to know anything since.
What's most disturbing in all this is the hopeful credulousness of the media. They really REALLY want the convoys to be true. They're so hopeful and anxious and desirous of this thing. "The convoy is rolling! We sent our reporter down to the overpass, and she saw a truck! Proof-positive that America is united in its love of communicable disease!"
If there’s one thing I love about American conservatives/MAGAs/reactionaries (I repeat myself), it’s how they hold themselves in unearned high regard as defenders of patriotism and freedom compared to other countries. Let’s go to the tape:
The French, who are constantly derided as fey, cheese eating surrender monkeys, have an indelible tradition of rioting and fucking shit up at the drop of a hat and getting legitimately aggro at the govt throughout their history, but most recently through the Yellow Vests. These were not the dusky hordes from that racist novel but actual Real French from the sticks and whatnot.
That our seemingly polite neighbors to the north did some real conservative civil disobedience and stuck at it is sort of amazing on its face, but they haven’t had the pressure release of Donny being in charge for four years, just nothing but old Fidel Trudeau stomping on their freedoms for god knows how long. Still, they went and block bridges and whatnot! They actually put their money where their mouth is!
American patriots? Nah. Even in the darkest days of Barry Obummer’s dictatorship, all we got was some tricorner hats and people treating their congressional reps like they treat Sam’s Club customer service.
That’s why this trucker thing is going nowhere and I can’t usually get exercised about this civil war talk. It’s way easier to continue to serve as a keyboard kommando than it is to get into the actual shit. We’re all too lazy and soft and the boss is gonna be on our ass if we take off work too much (how many of those truckers ARE NOT owner/operators?) or they have to keep an eye on those lazy slobs at the pool cleaning business they own.
American conservative freedom is about the right to convenience, and the second that right is abridged, the result is communism/socialism.
That right to convenience is why amongst them, it’s canon that somebody else is gonna do the dirty work of freedom: the cops, the military, 3 Percenters, take your pick. They’ll be watching from their comfy chair at home and posting about it.
One other thing, if Civil War II does pop off, the key to lib commie socialist victory is to kinetically decapitate the diabetes and gout medicine supply chain!!!
Seems funny a guy named Bolus talking about " squeezing.. choking ...cutting off the air"
These guys all have Mountain Man beards- either they use an elaborate and expensive twice a day beauty ritual or else the beard smells like the spoiled amalgamation of all the meals they've eaten lately. Pretty sure bet that Grizzly Adams trucker smells a lot like that huevos rancheros he ate at the truck stop outside of Plano Texas last week if those huevos rancheros had been left in the back window of a car for about a week in warm weather.
Funny column - nice, though brief respite from all this Shadow Boxing with the Apocalypse lately.
The media also interprets poor grammar as a sign of laudable authenticity. Using "don't" improperly makes them swoon as much as sources wearing steel-toed work boots.
This whole fiasco is starting to sound like those cults who predict the day the world will end, then keep bumping it forward when that date arrives and nothing happens. Or like the migrant caravan that was supposed to explode in a wave of hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants streaming into the U.S. but ultimately turned out to be some desperate, displaced people straggling here and there across a thousand miles of our southern border.
The convoy is coming, folks. And so is Christmas.
Bob Bolus. Jesus.
We all owe a huge apology to Hideo Kojima, don't we?
(An aside: The late pitcher Pascual Perez is who I'm thinking of: https://www.ajc.com/sports/the-night-pascual-perez-got-lost-and-found-spot-braves-history/9kYEQZobWRdepdVuJsXxRJ/. I laughed, along with everyone else at the time. Then moved to Atlanta, and nearly got lost *myself* on I-285. It's incredibly easy to do, even forty years later.)
Also noticed that the "Trucker Convoy" ran literally and figuratively out of gas about the time that Russian bot farms disappeared from the internet.
This piece with its disdain and worse for working class manly men only works against the still inevitable socialist revolution. A little respect for the fuckers -- truckers, I meant truckers, dunno how I slipped there -- and next think you know, the plutocrats are powerless, our elected officials of both parties serve us and neoliberalism is dead.
Now that's not happening.
But what still cracks me up is the manly posturing of these conservative manly men -- ever more and more as they simultaneously cede more and more of their strength, as it were, to the elected officials who make them ever less powered to address what's making their lives shit. Then again, I have a documented antipathy for the entire Patrimony and somewhat likewise for mainstream lib feminism whose vision was limited to doing what med do without considering whether what Man does is in fact good or worth emulating.
So these guys; I’m still laughing at the wusses.
"Convoy?" "BJ and the bear?" (I had to google that last title.) That's not even current pop culture, that's late 70s/early 80s pop culture! How many heroic truckers has Hollywood sold us since then? It's as though our news media collectively wanted to be Ron Burgundy and hearken back to their adolescence when Reagan was elected President, and didn't want to know anything since.
1. It makes sense that the American reactionary movement would spit up a guy named Bolus.
2. Maybe all these truckers convoys are just spottings of Phantom 309 (h/t Red Sovine).
Cue Dave Dudley (born Darwin Petruska), Wisconsin’s trucker/singer: “Six days on the road and I’m gonna get ticketed in Chevy Chase MD.”
What's most disturbing in all this is the hopeful credulousness of the media. They really REALLY want the convoys to be true. They're so hopeful and anxious and desirous of this thing. "The convoy is rolling! We sent our reporter down to the overpass, and she saw a truck! Proof-positive that America is united in its love of communicable disease!"
If there’s one thing I love about American conservatives/MAGAs/reactionaries (I repeat myself), it’s how they hold themselves in unearned high regard as defenders of patriotism and freedom compared to other countries. Let’s go to the tape:
The French, who are constantly derided as fey, cheese eating surrender monkeys, have an indelible tradition of rioting and fucking shit up at the drop of a hat and getting legitimately aggro at the govt throughout their history, but most recently through the Yellow Vests. These were not the dusky hordes from that racist novel but actual Real French from the sticks and whatnot.
That our seemingly polite neighbors to the north did some real conservative civil disobedience and stuck at it is sort of amazing on its face, but they haven’t had the pressure release of Donny being in charge for four years, just nothing but old Fidel Trudeau stomping on their freedoms for god knows how long. Still, they went and block bridges and whatnot! They actually put their money where their mouth is!
American patriots? Nah. Even in the darkest days of Barry Obummer’s dictatorship, all we got was some tricorner hats and people treating their congressional reps like they treat Sam’s Club customer service.
That’s why this trucker thing is going nowhere and I can’t usually get exercised about this civil war talk. It’s way easier to continue to serve as a keyboard kommando than it is to get into the actual shit. We’re all too lazy and soft and the boss is gonna be on our ass if we take off work too much (how many of those truckers ARE NOT owner/operators?) or they have to keep an eye on those lazy slobs at the pool cleaning business they own.
American conservative freedom is about the right to convenience, and the second that right is abridged, the result is communism/socialism.
That right to convenience is why amongst them, it’s canon that somebody else is gonna do the dirty work of freedom: the cops, the military, 3 Percenters, take your pick. They’ll be watching from their comfy chair at home and posting about it.
One other thing, if Civil War II does pop off, the key to lib commie socialist victory is to kinetically decapitate the diabetes and gout medicine supply chain!!!
Nitpicky note: Oswego is up north on Lake Erie. Owego is in the Southern Tier on I-64.
Seems funny a guy named Bolus talking about " squeezing.. choking ...cutting off the air"
These guys all have Mountain Man beards- either they use an elaborate and expensive twice a day beauty ritual or else the beard smells like the spoiled amalgamation of all the meals they've eaten lately. Pretty sure bet that Grizzly Adams trucker smells a lot like that huevos rancheros he ate at the truck stop outside of Plano Texas last week if those huevos rancheros had been left in the back window of a car for about a week in warm weather.
Funny column - nice, though brief respite from all this Shadow Boxing with the Apocalypse lately.
"and make cash donations to the cause"
I remain ever astonished at how much money is awash in the vast Homeland...and just waiting for the hoovering-up.
No cause so stupid it won't attract the roooobs.
That photo of the crowd *almost* makes me feel sorry for Kyle and the convoy clowns. I've played gigs like that.
“Mad Max KOA”
[raises fingers to lips] MWAH!
The media also interprets poor grammar as a sign of laudable authenticity. Using "don't" improperly makes them swoon as much as sources wearing steel-toed work boots.
“Even now, I have thirty thousand truckers who stand ready to deal a mortal blow to this tyranny. Thirty thousand, would you believe it?”
“I don't believe it.”
“Would you believe, three thousand truckers?”
“No.”
“How about three pickups and a bicycle?”