In which I assert my right to address the unwilling students of George Mason University

What is free speech if not the right to make you shut up and listen

A civil liberties group is urging students at George Mason University to respect differing viewpoints following their calls to remove Republican Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin from the institution's commencement ceremony.

George Mason University announced last week that Youngkin would deliver the commencement speech in May in front of the university’s 2023 graduating class, which led to students demanding the governor be prohibited from speaking or attending the ceremony.

The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), a nonprofit group that aims to protect free speech on college campuses, is asking the students to resist attempts to remove Youngkin as commencement speaker and instead engage with ideas they may disagree with…

“We encourage GMU students to resist censorship and instead enter both their commencement ceremony and life after graduation with a willingness to engage ideas with which they may disagree,” Tamburro continued. – Fox News.

Friends, since I have taken up the study of Free Speechology at the Univerity of Austin, I have seen many offenses against that most precious of our liberties, the right to say whatever one wishes in the venue of one’s choice without interference or criticism from the peons who must endure one’s tirades.

But the way the students of George Mason University have cancelcultured Governor Glenn Youngkin of Virgina may be the most egregious abridgement of that right since students at the University of Wyoming had the temerity to boo Cynthia Lummis for denouncing trans people.

Governor Youngkin is a fine man whose impeccably conservative beliefs are the very model of speech that must not be rejected, criticized, or ignored, especially by students of a college that has a conservative reputation which makes it doubly anti-Free-Speechology when they talk back.

That the students opposing Governor Youngkin’s right to make them listen to him at their commencement have collected more than 6,000 signatures demanding he be removed is as cancelcultural as it gets! How will young people ever be exposed to the beliefs espoused by President Trump, Ron DeSantis, and a majority of the House of Representatives if not at their own graduation? Where else are they going to hear from their own Governor? Via corrupt liberal media outlets like C-Span, which always makes him look like a monster or a buffoon?

Perhaps the students think they have a “right” to disinvite the Governor because it’s “their” commencement. It is not! The University has a right to make the students take certain classes and pay certain fees. Just because the students have finished those classes and paid those fees does not mean they are “off the clock,” and is no reason why the school should be denied its right to force them to do something they don’t want to do one last time.

So great is my devotion to Free Speechology that I am showing my support for Governor Youngkin by appearing as his warm-up act.

Yes, thanks to the fierce devotion of the GMU board to the principles of Free Speechology, and a hefty donation to some local Republican candidates, I have been placed on the bill directly before the Governor. I intend to challenge these arrogant striplings’ beliefs with a PowerPoint of CatTurd2 memes and off-color jokes about despised minorities delivered through a bullhorn.

In case the students are thinking about booing, interrupting, or ignoring my free speech on the specious grounds that it is unwanted and offensive, I remind them that I am also a devotee of the Second Amendment, and I will come prepared to demonstrate that at commencement as well.

I will close by paraphrasing Justice Louis Brandeis: The remedy to speech we don’t like is speech forcibly aimed at people who don’t want to hear it and who we will call enemies of Free Speechology if they complain. See you in Fairfax, losers!