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Bari Weiss and company build their lyceum
UATX is fortunate to have a diverse board of advisors, who offer advice and expertise across many areas on a venture still in formation. They are united in their commitment to academic freedom and the need for innovation in higher education and the need for open inquiry and civil discourse. We would expect that our advisors will not be in full agreement with each other or all of the choices we make as an institution. This is exactly what we hope for given our commitment to vigorous analysis and spirited debate. — University of Austin website
Attendees, University of Austin Development Meeting
Pano Kanelos, President
Bari Weiss, Co-President
Jordan Peterson, Co-President
Amy Wax, Co-President
Thomas Chatterton Williams, Co-President
Approval of Minutes/Old Business
Co-President Weiss reported she’d misplaced the audio and transcript of the previous meeting, held at the Crown & Anchor on Dec. 1, but assured the Board of Advisors the Agenda items were probably unchanged from that time and that, besides, except for President Kanelos and Co-President Weiss, the membership of the Board of Advisors is completely different now so it is “news to them.” Co-President Weiss also informed the new members that she had won the beer pong tournament.
Co-President Weiss reported no forward action on potential new locations, though she had “put the word out” among people she knew in the area. She said the Villas on Rio, a luxury University of Texas at Austin off-campus housing development across the street from the UATX offices, seems suitable, and she had left a prospectus with the doorman, but had not heard back. “Austin’s very liberal,” she said, “which makes everything more expensive, as we have seen in New York and San Francisco.” Co-President Weiss suggested exploring less expensive locations such as Round Rock and Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She said even if the school was relocated the name University of Austin would still be appropriate as it is “aspirational, like Arcadia or Hogwarts.”
Co-President Weiss reported tentative appointments pending Board of Advisors approval: Joe Rogan as Chair of the Communications Department, Dr. Stella Immanuel as Chair of the Medical School, and Co-President Peterson as Chair of the Philosophy Department. President Kanelos objected to the consideration of any Board of Advisors member for department chairmanships. Co-President Peterson told President Kanelos that he had not in fact submitted himself for consideration, and suggested that Co-President Weiss only said that he had because she was ashamed to have so few candidates for the meeting. Co-President Weiss accused Co-President Peterson of “acting like a commissar” and “cancelling” her, and said that she had advanced his appointment because she “felt sorry” for him and that after he “shit the bed” at the University of Toronto he was lucky anyone would consider hiring him. Tears streaming down his face, Co-President Peterson excused himself to go to the bathroom and did not return.
President Kanelos then asked for the credentials of Rogan and Immanuel. Co-President Weiss played video clips of Rogan’s podcast and an Immanuel video on the benefits of treating COVID-19 with hydroxychloroquine. President Kanelos asked if Co-President Weiss were serious and, on being assured that she was, repeated the question. Co-President Weiss informed President Kanelos of Rogan’s and Immanuel’s social media numbers and relationships with former U.S. President Trump. President Kanelos said he failed to see the relevance of these facts to their shared vision of higher education, and that if she considered a lack of wokeness and social media prominence sufficient reason for hiring faculty they should approach The Iron Sheik, a wrestler whose exploits he had enjoyed in his youth.
President Kanelos expressed concern that he and Co-President Weiss were monopolizing the conversation and asked Co-President Williams for his input, but after several seconds of silence and non-verbal vocalizing he left the room. It was later discovered that the man was not in fact Co-President Williams, but Capitol riot co-conspirator Ali Alexander, who had portrayed himself as Co-President Williams to evade detection by law enforcement.
President Kanelos excused himself to go to the bathroom and did not return. After an awkward silence Co-President Weiss asked Co-President Wax if she would consider leaving the University of Pennsylvania to chair a department at UATX. Co-President Wax laughed and asked if Co-President Weiss had asked Harvey Mansfield to leave Harvard to that purpose, and Co-President Weiss said she had and he was still thinking it over, and Co-President Wax laughed even harder and walked out of the room and did not return. Co-President Weiss then adjourned the meeting and invited the recording secretary to join her at the Crown & Anchor, which offer was declined.
OMG - Roy, come clean now. . . did you make this up, or is this just one more of those things thatcha can't make up? My brain hurts so much, I wanna know who to blame it on!
"Co-President Weiss also informed the new members that she had won the beer pong tournament."