Indecent proposal

Going for broke

[h/t to @BenZero]

[A giant, dimly-lit loft in New York City, clean and with some nice furnishings, but no signs of habitation except some Chinese food containers and soda bottles and related garbage on a large dining room table, and lots of clothes, pillows, beer bottles, fast food and related trash on and around the sofa where BARRON TRUMP sits with RYANN McENANY, younger sister of the former Trump press secretary and conservative dating app spokesmodel. She is wearing short ice-blue boots with thick high heels, sheer white stockings, a short silver skirt with matching wide belt and a Lizzo t-shirt; TRUMP is wearing a dark blue track suit and grey OnCloud shoes; he is playing Trombone Champ on a large TV screen in front of him and McENANY, to whom he pays no attention.]

McENANY: What’s this song called?

BARRON: [After a moment] Beer barrel polka.

McENANY: If I don’t know it it’s not that funny. Do they have any songs people know?

BARRON: No.

McENANY: I heard they have the Star-Spangled Banner.

BARRON: That song sucks.

McENANY: It’s the national anthem.

[Pause. TRUMP keeps playing. McENANY sighs.]

McENANY: Listen, I had a great idea. You know how they’re going after your dad and your sister and brothers?

[Pause.]

Well, I know a way you can make that work for you. I was talking to one of our lawyers and he said, “You know they should just put everything in Barron’s name. That way they can’t take it away because he’s a minor.”

[Pause.]

BARRON: What kind of lawyer is this?

McENANY: A good lawyer.

BARRON: Entertainment lawyer?

[He throws the console aside. Beer Barrel Polka plays in background.]

McENANY: Yeah.

BARRON: They don’t know shit about real estate.

McENANY: He says he’s seen it lots of times. Most people are scared to give the money to their kids because they think they might come under the influence of some other relative or friend who might talk them into keeping it.

[BARRON gives a hollow laugh.]

McENANY: But if they’re scared enough, they do it anyway because they have no choice but to take the risk.

[Pause.]

So you don’t think it’d work?

[Pause.]

BARRON: It could work.

McENANY: Great. So do it!

[She leans in on him, touches and rubs his back.]

Think about it, Barron. Now you’re doing OK but if they park their assets with you, that’s like hundreds of millions of dollars.

BARRON: That’s what you think.

McENANY: And however long you have it, you can do what you want with it, you can invest it. I bet they’re so scared they won’t put any conditions on it. I mean — you probably wouldn’t even have to give it back. If they go to jail.

[She cozies up to him even more.]

Or even if they don’t.

[In his ear.]

Think about all. That. Money.

BARRON: You feel sleepy?

McENANY: Uh uh.

BARRON: You should, ‘cause I roofied you 20 minutes ago.

[McENANY pulls back.]

McENANY: You what?

BARRON: You should be feeling it now.

McENANY: No. You didn’t roofie me.

BARRON: No? Then I must of taken it by mistake, I’m feeling kinda tired. Really tired. You should get going.

[BARRON taps on a console. Overhead lights come on and make a path to what appears to be a vestibule.]

Just shut the door on your way out.

McENANY: [Flustered] What the fuck?

BARRON: Just leave.

[McENANY stands up.]

McENANY: Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?

BARRON: [Lying back] Too sleepy, must have put it in the wrong bottle.

McENANY: Bullshit. You’re going to walk me.

[From under a pillow BARRON pulls a small livestock prod and lightly zaps McENANY, who jumps and shrieks.]

OW! MOTHERFUCKER!

[She looks as if she might attack him, then runs in the other direction, cursing and fuming until she’s out the door. When he hears it slam BARRON sits up and picks up the console.]

BARRON: [Under his breath] Nice try, asshole.

[He goes back to his game.]