54 Comments

Casual Cruelty As A Multi-Generational Operating System, A Primer

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Oh. Yeah, there's that too.

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It's the part of the fault that is, in fact, in ourselves: it works, very often, and for quite awhile. I think it's part of being human.

Yet another reason I'm transhumanist, not religiously like a Silicon Valley bro, more like 'Come on, we can do—have got to do—better than this.'—and if it takes some genes-fixing to do it, fine.

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I got the genes, if you got the fixin's.

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If I had the fixin’s, and they were realised as an otherwise-innocuous, air-spread, virus, I'd release it as soon as my volcano-lair were done (including the big, red, self-destruct button).

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1.5 marks! Woulda been 2 but you left out the pre-digital countdown timer with the big bright red numbers...

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Honestly, I thought of it, but I thought I was going-on too long as it was (and did not want to over-egg the pudding)(especially if it's on someone's nose, with a lantern hung on it).

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I, uh, think I see what you mean, but in the spirit of villains the rattling on and on about world domination and the decadence of the existing order instead of just pulling the damn trigger part of the drill.

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"BARRON: What kind of lawyer is this?

McENANY: A good lawyer.

BARRON: Entertainment lawyer?

[He throws the console aside. Beer Barrel Polka plays in background.]

McENANY: Yeah."

Hah!

And at least 2 marks for treating Barron as humanely as possible given his...unfortunate...background.

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Roy's portrayals of Trump and his family are always smarter and more relatable than the real thing. Because who would want to spend two minutes with a realistic portrayal of any of them?

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Tiffany is finally happy to be the forgotten Trump child.

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Nah. No descendants left behind..

Or:

Spawn but not forgotten.

(I'd apologize if I felt like it).

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No need!

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She’s less engaged than the older three but still daddy’s little tool.

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Don’t get me wrong, I was amused, so amused that I don’t care that Roy’s Barron has little in common with the IRL Barron.

But in the name of Mammon, what kind of Trump turns down any opportunity to grift, specially a big one??

Still amused, tho’.

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My takeaway is the boy knows someone else's grift even before they do (well-trained as he must be), and sees straight thru it. And anyway, he's gonna outlive 'em all, and there'll be spoils enough for a normalish person down the road.

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You keep saying that! I guess we'll never know for sure because I am convinced he'll never seek public attention -- not for the reasons of incapacity you cite, but because his contempt for the herd is pure, as opposed to his dad's desire to manipulate them.

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Oh. Yeah, there's that too.

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I agree -- the next time we'll see him (assuming 2024 goes well) is in a mugshot from Vietnam or something like, looking like an aged Marlon Brando

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Disqus isn't allowing me to heart this. Special thanks for Trombone Champ, that's a revelation. Wait, never mind, it's relented.

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The Ghost of Glenn Miller approves.

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Credit to the Onion for prescience.

Always the sousaphonist, never the tromboner

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It would have sold like hotcakes if it had been named Euphonium Hero

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Actually, there used to be a jazz tuba player named Red Calender, and my brother, who played sousaphone in the high school marching band in the late 1950s, would play along with his record (“RC Speaks Low”).

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Like many well-rounded tuba players, Red also played bass. He had a fabulous career – his discography is amazing – and everybody dug him. I caught him live once at Pete Douglas's Bach Dancing and Dynamite Society in Half Moon Bay.

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Yeah, Discus won't accept a HEART for a comment about a comment. Until it does.

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I'd 'Like' this, but having lived thru it the other evening (and eventually deleting 4 or 5 duplicate posts) I just don't have the heart...

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Any non-insane person in the family would look at Aunt Tiffany and think, "Yeah, that's the ticket."

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Maestro, I trust my source on Barron’s issues — those in addition to having monstrous parents. I would note that before that, it struck me that there was something in the way he appeared in photos that looked, as they say, “off”. I should note that I have no issue of him being a target of satire; when one has access to that much wealth, everything’s fair. To be clear, we may never know because it doesn’t get reported but the documentation obviously exists in connection with the special ed thing.

That said, I’ve finally transcended my understanding of his pathology and can enjoy your high quality mockery of him. Or, to be clear, he’s still a Trump, so fuck him and fuck his feelings such as they are.

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I have no problem imagining Barron Trump as some sort of Backstreet Borgia superpredator.

I hate that the Trump clan are the most famous people in the world. It's like being forced to watch the kardasians because for some stupid reason they have life or death influence on my life.

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Hearted for Backstreet Borgia.

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Or, of you'd prefer a different boy band, maybe N'Jail?

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Reminds me of the old days at the factory when one of the Central American guys would not show up Monday morning and the other guys would say "Oh, he's in hell", which we eventually sorted out to mean 'jail'. And it was very interesting to hear their take on our bail system. They saw it as simple graft – you're in jail, some buddy or family member pays somebody to let you out. I started to explain the difference once, but then realized I needed to rethink my position.

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Act two is one of the next generation Kardashians marrying Barron with Melania and Kris Jenner forming a new Cosmetics Empire called Pump You Up. I can’t wait. The Schwarzenegger -Kennedy’s will sue.

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I was gonna say something about the wrong Kennedys being...ah, never mind.

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They already seem -what's the polite phrase? A little closely bred. Like Bernese Mountain Dogs or some exotic chicken.

Sharks in the deep end of the gene pool.*

* I don't know what that means but I like how it sounds.

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Also: "Like Bernese Mountain Dogs or some exotic chicken."

2 marks!

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All the people ridiculing the British for their outdated monarchy don’t seem to realize that we have our own trashy version of it: celebrities. Trumps, Kardashians, et al.

Granted, the government doesn’t support their lavish lifestyle like the Brits do, unless maybe you count the tax breaks, de facto immunity from the law. . . Sorry, what was I saying?

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Womp womp.

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That "Conservative Dating App" story is such a perfect example of how a small group of people can enjoy a nice income and rides on Peter Thiel's jet by milking the resentments of right-wing suckers. Although, sadly, the suckers seem to not be biting on this one (the article points out that dating apps already offer the option of filtering by political views). Nevertheless, conservatives must be told they can't survive out in the world the rest of us inhabit, not because they really can't but because "conservative safe space" is how you monetize their fears.

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I'd love to see these bits performed, and especially something like this, in order to appreciate the effect of having Beer Barrel Polka play in the background throughout. Now that Trump is reciting segments of his insane rally speeches to music, I think all his stuff should have similar soundtracks -- and not just music. Audience laughs, moans, screams, gasps, sound effects of thunderstorms and circuses, etc., all thrown in for wingnuts too moronic to be manipulated by mere words. (I've noticed certain pop songs insert the sound of screaming fans into the mix now, or at least on TV they do. It's brilliant, in a Goebbels-y subliminal way.) Roy's versions of course, would be artfully surreal, if we could only see them performed!

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CALLING MAX BIALYSTOCK! Seriously though, I would love that.

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"One and one is two

Two and two is four

I feel so bad 'cause I'm losin' the war!"

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Where to start...

a) Roy, how are so familiar with all those CLOTHES?

b) How can you possibly know about the existence of Trombone Champ?

c) The e-vil calculation of Kayleigh Mc's sister cultivating Barron Trump is some I, Claudius-level shit. (Or Game of Thrones).

d) Absent any input or data from the rest of the world (and there isn't any), I'm happy to take Roy's evolving description of Barron as entirely accurate.

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Can't speak for Roy, but Ted Gioia hipped me to Trombone Champ.

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Should add that one of the trombone game's premier selling points is

"Absolutely zero microtransactions!"

which, let us be clear, is entirely in keeping with the conservation-of-energy imperative – never transact micro when there's macro to be had for the same effort.

Also, too: Melba Liston!

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Roy’s so knowledgeable, however he does it, that the foundation to his humor pieces is some pretty informative reporting.

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It is a measure of Trump's endless craziness that it has obscured his equally disturbing creepiness. His oft-expressed lust for his own daughter could be better known, but the fact that gave his last kid the same name as the the fake PR rep ("John Baron") he invented to plant stories about himself in New York media—including the supposed quote from Marla Maples that claimed that her shag with him was "the best sex I ever had"—is also pretty weird.

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Now that I think about it, I'm sure many private personal interactions with Clan Trump involve cattle prods.

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Shocking if true.

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Your zingers just keep on a comin'!

Made me laugh. Then made me feel bad about laughing.

Crap.

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Thank you for turning me on to TROMBONE CHAMP.

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