via Twitter.
[Ominous music. Sound of coughing, beeping hospital alerts. Hazy, red-filter, slo-mo shots of hospital wards, beds full of patients with nasal cannulas or ventilator tubes, maybe one in an iron lung; other patients slump in chairs in hospital hallways as frenzied-looking doctors run past calling in echoey voices “CODE BLUE!” “THERE’S NO MORE ROOM!” "CHAPLAIN WILL NOW GIVE YOU ALL LAST RITES!” etc.]
V/O: [Slow, gritty, slightly but not too Southern masculine voice] What kind of America will we be living in if Joe Biden becomes president? A country where thousands contract COVID-19 every day. Where hospitals overflow and deaths increase and bodies are kept in refrigerator trucks by the side of the road. And no one, least of all President Joe Biden, does anything to help.
[Even more ominous music. Sick blue filter. slo-mo shots of bedraggled men and women standing in a long line, at the end of which a sign is just visible — we zoom in and see it reads “UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS” and has a piece of cardboard stuck to the bottom of it with the words “COME BACK TOMORROW” scrawled on it. Then, also in sick blue/slo-mo, shots of ragged men and women roaming deserted streets and malls, looking in garbage cans, picking litter off the ground, opening it up and, with a look of disgust, eating from it.]
V/O: In Joe Biden’s America unemployment has soared to double digits. People can’t find work and do anything they can to survive while Congress sends them hardly enough money to live on.
[Sick blue/slo-mo shots of “FORECLOSED” signs being hammered into lawns and “EVICTED” signs being taped to front doors.]
V/O: Millions face losing their homes and being turned out in the street — and President Joe Biden doesn’t lift a finger.
[Back to red filter, still slo/mo, footage of protests in city streets. Fires in the background — superimposed if not in original —with lots of graffiti, black clothes, and black people. Inserts of statues of Daniel Boone, Mr. Rogers, and the Virgin Mary toppling over as black people cheer.]
V/O: In Joe Biden’s America the streets are on fire because people have lost faith in justice and in their leadership, and lash out at our beloved statues and at the police who keep us safe in our suburbs.
[Crowds chant indistinctly. In the red-filled frame the U.S. Capitol looms as yellow flames roar behind it. Then the face of JOE BIDEN, smiling broadly, is superimposed; demonic laughter.]
V/O: [Even grittier, even slower, more Southern] This is the America you’ll be living in under President Joe Biden. It’s a lot like now — except Joe Biden — will be president of the United States.
[More demonic laughter. In a momentary lap-dissolve, like at the end of Psycho, the face of BARACK OBAMA appears over that of JOE BIDEN; then, dissolve to the super DONALD TRUMP - MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN AGAIN, website URL etc.]
VOICE OF DONALD TRUMP: I’m Donald Trump, and it’s a message, I feel, in my heart, the, I approve, I approve, terrific.
Projection is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess. I mean, Obama didn’t fix Covid-19 even though it didn’t exist when he was President, and now Biden isn’t doing anything to fix it or the economy or quell the protests just because of the technicality that he hasn’t been elected yet. The most important thing is NOTHING is ever, ever Trump’s fault.
One of the funniest things about this election is the Trump campaign’s utter failure to demonize Uncle Joe. Biden’s white and a man so he has that going for him, and the fact is Americans just don’t find him scary. The worst the GOP has been able to come up with is accusing him of being senile – and with President I-Can-Identify-a-Picture-of-an-Elephant-What-a-Stable-Genius in the White House that’s a tough sell. Oh, and also claiming Biden’s a puppet of the left wing; except every time Biden opens his mouth he sounds like a moderate Democrat.
I thought that “You won’t be safe” ad was beyond parody, but I failed to take your imagination into account. I won’t make that mistake again. Looking forward to your take on Trump’s attack ads about some stupid thing Biden did in 1985.