Roy Edroso Breaks It Down

Share this post

Johnson sings!

edroso.substack.com

Discover more from Roy Edroso Breaks It Down

Notorious gadfly nips at feebs, dweebs, and other enemies of the Republic.
Over 2,000 subscribers
Continue reading
Sign in

Johnson sings!

A little number from the allegedly cash-poor Speaker

Roy Edroso
Nov 2, 2023
44
Share this post

Johnson sings!

edroso.substack.com
134
Share

[Speaker Mike Johnson and his inquisitors, sung to the tune of “A Little Tin Box” from the musical Fiorello!]

Mr. J, in the course of a lifetime
You have served the GOP
But we learn that you don’t even have a simple bank account —
May we ask, sir, how can that be?

I don’t see how you can even ask the question!
To a godly man, faith is its own reward!
I eschew all earthly forms of wealth investin’
And devote my meager earnings to the Lord

Inside a little poor box, a little poor box,
That a little tin key unlocks
Though the MSM writer mocks,
It’s just a little poor box
It’s a little poor box
A little poor box
That a little tin key unlocks
Think of it as a widow’s mite
Jesus has locked up tight
In a little poor box

Mr. J, we all know you’re religious
And we don’t wish to provoke
But we also know you make at least a quarter-mil a year —
How then come you to look so broke?

This is just what happens when you serve the Savior
For the media have no morality
They ignore the saintliness of my behavior
And they focus on what I won’t let them see

Inside my little poor box
My little poor box
That a little church key unlocks
You can bet that I will outfox
Your hunt for my little poor box
For my little poor box
For my little poor box
My little poor box
That’s worth much more than bonds or stocks
Could it be loot from Harlan Crow?
Wouldn’t you like to know!
It’s my little poor box!

Mr. J, your patrons are wealthy
You live like a rich man, too
Come on, anyone can guess why you have been so stealthy
And that’s why we are after you!
 

You’re assuming anybody pays attention
To a thing beyond the piety I show
And my patrons, whose names I will never mention,
Will join me in telling where you all can go.
As for my little poor box
My little poor box
That a little gold key unlocks
Oh, there’d be just no end of shocks if
You could see my little poor box!
In a little poor box
A little poor box
Ha ha ha ha, go on, kick rocks!
The Supreme Court says I needn’t tell
So you can all go to hell —
Suck my little poor box!

44
Share this post

Johnson sings!

edroso.substack.com
134
Share
134 Comments
Share this discussion

Johnson sings!

edroso.substack.com
Manqueman
Nov 2Liked by Roy Edroso

Not to defend any christofascist but I'm not sure that he doesn't tithe a lot of money to a church of the insane and unhinged.

Otherwise, yeah, sure, sketchy AF.

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
1 reply
Jeffrey Kramer
Nov 2Liked by Roy Edroso

So, can anybody who's familiar with the wonders of the U.S. tax code guess just what scam is being worked here? If you don't have money in a bank, or stocks in a brokerage, but instead you're part of, I don't know, a Double-Reverse Tithe Sharing Commune, you never have to pay taxes?

Expand full comment
Reply
Share
22 replies
132 more comments...
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Roy Edroso
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing