Last minute real-people testimonials

Don't forget to vote

When that son of a bitch Bill De Blasio said he was gonna mandate vaccines, and said all us cops had to get the shot or lose our jobs, I reached a rendezvous with destiny. I remember the day it happened. I had a long day, as usual rescuing ungrateful bastards, people not worth the sweat off my balls, from the skels and scumbags that infest this shithole city. Then they give me this memo, and my buddy Chulo says don’t worry about it, PBA will take care of it. But with everybody wearing masks and then they got that Biden in office, I don’t think Pat Lynch has the guts. So I’m just getting madder and the drive home to Syosset that night was murder. It was all I could do not to get my piece out and start taking out some of these shitty drivers. But when I got in the door and saw my wife and kids, I knew I owed it to them to take a stand, so the kids at least could live in a free country where you can do anything, say anything, be free like people are supposed to instead of having to get vaccinated or take sexual harassment training or eat burgers made out of vegetables or get electricity out of a goddamn windmill. Yeah, I’m definitely quitting if my exemption doesn’t go through. I got a buddy who’s a bouncer can get me work, and maybe I’ll get into organized crime, or what’s left of it, thanks a lot Tish James! I don’t care, I figure when we get Trump back in, and by hook or by crook we will, I get it all back. So we have to sacrifice a little, so what, the house is practically paid off and the wife’s a nurse. Plus, the shit hits the fan? I take early retirement and I’m still living better than most of the yutzes I went to high school with. These Democrats can kiss my ass.

I’ll never forget the day when Tommy came home from school and, usually he’s all smiles, he’s always been such a happy kid, loves to play, loves his Marvel movies and playing with his friends. But this day he came home and he looked like he’d seen a spook or something, and I thought he had a fever and I said, Tommy, come over here and let me feel your forehead and he didn’t have a fever, but his eyes were all watery and he looked like he was going to cry, and I said come on over to the couch little man and tell mamma what’s wrong. We just sat there a while and finally he said mamma, am I a bad boy, and you mothers know how this kind of thing can break your heart and I said of course not sweetheart you’re the best little boy in the world, why would you say that, and he said that this teacher, I’m not going to use his name, but he had them read out of a book about what they called the Snopes family. And Tommy was spilling his little heart out about all the disgusting things in the book, sex and perversion and just disgusting behavior by awful people and I got it out of Tommy that even though they never said anything about black people, and that the person who wrote it was a white person, supposedly, that the book made him feel bad about being white, and when he told that to his teacher — [voice breaks] he just laughed. [recovers] And I told Tommy, I told him, we’re going to that school in the morning and I’m going to have a talk with the dean, because what kind of college requires — requires! — a boy like Tommy who pays tuition to read a book that makes him feel bad about himself. This is what we’re dealing with, with this critical race theory. And if we don’t get rid of these Democrats, that could be your little boy next.

It’s just sick, what they’re doing, these people, I don’t know, it used to be a great country, the sun was shining, people standing up, respectful, they’d look at the flag and think oh boy, we got it made. Now it’s a mess. Biden, he’s retarded, he just goes [flaps arms, makes face] “Duhh-y! Duhhh-hee duh-hey who am I where am I!” The stores, they don’t have anything on the shelves, can’t even get a quart of milk, milk costs five bucks for a quart, can you believe this? Unreal. But it’s true. And the cancel culture and the price of oil, somebody gotta talk to OPEC, they gotta talk to the sheiks, they gotta get tough, Retard Joe Biden, he’s not gonna do it, they gotta get Trump back in there pronto. You know I’m a Democrat, I’m the biggest Democrat, I even voted for Obama, but this, I’m disgusted, we gotta get Trump in there. Sure you can use my name. It’s John with a J, B-A-R-R-O-N, just a private citizen who loves his country, folks.