92 Comments
Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Absolutely first rate. The squeakiness, the rat-a-tat delivery, the soulless aesthetic and moral bankruptcy that views everything as simply a means to an end: all of it pitch-perfect.

Also, “Harvard,” lmao.

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Nice column!. Robert Downey Sr. would have appreciated it.

Ben and Elaine dancing together would be something to see.

I've hated Shapiro since he was a little kid. I probably felt bad about it. Now that he's older I don't feel bad at all.

I really hate that asshole.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

What did he do when he was a little kid? (Genuinely curious)

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I have no idea, but I'd guess pretty much indistinguishable from what he does now...

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He's certainly only a bit taller...

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I dunno, I followed the Virgin Ben for years, and I could swear he's shrinking. I mean his voice has already reached the ultrasonic pitch that prevented Grant William's wife from hearing his cries for help in The Incredible Shrinking Man.

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Oooh, please tell me that fighting a spider for stale breadcrumbs is somewhere in his future.

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I know who I'm rooting for.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

He was a high profile Child Conservative. Often lampooned as "Virgin Ben" for his take on chastity. In short, everything a kid should not be. He got plenty of attention, found it to his liking, and never went away, let alone grew out of it.

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

He was a right wing chd prodigy- if you imagine such a thing. He wrote a book- was on all the shows. 15 year olds are pretty insufferable anyway - imagine a 15 year old wing nut. I always hoped he would go to college, come out as gay and renounce all his childhood insufferability. No such luck. He stayed on the Highway to Hell and here we are today.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I remember a Thatcher-before-Thatcher 15-going-on-45yo young woman in our (rich AF cafe-society liberal stronghold in Marin County) high school freshman history class who really had few problems with ours or any other culture's subjugation of certain easily-identifiable-by-their-looks populations (wink/nod/finger-upside-nose) as long as they were not visible on the streets in polite society. Oh, and the poors. Oh, and the war, too. She TOTALLY* supported the war.

She was a piece of work, as the saying went. Never backed down, I'll give her that.

*Easy to do as she was not part of the draft pool.

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Life experience, of the sort that shows you life is difficult so we'd best help one another through it, tends to humanize people. And a complete lack of life experience can do the opposite.

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You break that paragraph right, and you got a rap going.

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Nah, I'm more in the tradition of Run-on DMC.

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Well, Dre proved that anything could be turned into a rap with judicious use of " Motherfuckin'" and " Bitch"

For instance, doctored up with some hip street lingo the poems of Robert Service become perfectly cromulent raps -

The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, But the queerest they ever did see -bitch

Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge

I cremated Sam Motherfuckin' McGee.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Well!… I *did* ask, didn‘t I

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O M G -- I love that image, though I die inside a bit & a bit more every minute thinking about that "full body dry heave."

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It would almost work 'if they managed some weird out of time synchronization it could be pretty hypnotic and unsettling. Twyla Tharp does Lovecraft.

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Greetings from Kansas, where the odious Value Them Both campaign just went down to ignominious defeat by an almost 60/40 margin.

I said all along that Kansas may be a red state, but the Democrat in the Governor's office shows it's not monolithic. Kansans are a contrary lot and don't like to feel ANYBODY owns them.

Should be interesting at Planned Parenthood this weekend. I suspect OPPD may be there in force.

Oh, and Cliffy, the 44 year old virgin "sidewalk counselor" who ran for a seat in the Kansas House? His opponent absolutely destroyed him by an almost 90% margin.

It's a GOOD morning here in Kansas. Hope yours is too.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Congratulations, comrade! I know next to nothing about Kansas so the news last night was a delightful surprise.

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I knew just enough about Kansas to be totally gobsmacked that this happened.

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I'm... not, entirely? I mean, if they could get Roe overturned without years of what is essentially terrorism, it means the people really aren't on their side. People will vote to maintain the legal right to abortions in at least some cases. That's not the same thing as voting for a pro-choice politician if they're pissed about inflation or something else.

The more they isolate abortion as a target, the smaller their side becomes. But it doesn't matter a lot to everybody, and they no longer have to rely on getting voters to do what they want.

If this was on the general ballot, I think it would be different.

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I wonder why it was placed on the primary ballot and not in the general? I assume the Christian Nationalists thought it would be favorable to them to do this in a low-turnout election. And boy, were they wrong.

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022

SD Repugs also put a constitutional amendment (to limit citizens’ power to initiate laws) on the primary ballot, hoping to sneak it through. The voters absolutely torched it, as in Kansas.

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They're against citizen initiatives because Republic, not Democracy, etc.

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To reduce the vote count in the hopes of squeaking by. Typical GOP tactic from our Republican-dominated legislature.

If you were registered as unaffiliated, like me, this was the only thing on the ballot. They apparently hoped many of us wouldn't bother voting on a one-issue ballot.

The surprising part to me was how many Republicans bucked the party line. Maybe treating half the electorate like children wasn't such a great strategy after all.

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Same here. If you weren’t registered Republican, you had to vote on a single item about amending the constitution to make ballot initiatives harder.

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Bucked the party line but not necessarily the party. Time will tell on that.

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"Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others"

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Watch out for the hangover.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Hurrah for Kansas! But, sadly, I think what you'll end up seeing is the anti-abortion lunkheads going to the Supreme Court to get the Kansas state constitution ruled unconstitutional. And they'll likely succeed because The Stupid Six are all about States' Rights--except when they aren't and the people need to be put in their place.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

The forced birth zealots will certainly want to do this. I think their success will depend on what happens in the mid-terms. Is Kansas evidence that a true backlash is rising or just a blip?

When we know that I think we’ll have a clearer idea of what will happen with the Court. I still think Roberts is worried about his legacy and over-reaching, and Kavanaugh’s handlers may tell him not to push it if it’s going to mean electoral losses for the GOP.

But yeah, the four most extreme lunatics would strike down any state constitutions or federal legislation because they want to make abortion illegal nationwide. But they need five.

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Kansans know all too well what it means to be run by a small government low-tax GOP ideologue as governor & a capitulating supreme court and legislature. Sam Brownback nearly destroyed the entire state, to be sold off to China for its debts. I hope even the worst of the libertarians there might realize that it's not a not a productive way to live.

(Haha -- what am I thinking...?)

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Yeah, I was wondering why Kansas would have a Democratic Governor, figuring the last Republican Governor must have REALLY fucked up to make that possible.

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Not so sure SCOTUS will do anything with that, even its GOP junta I think may not be interested. Besides, I expect the state legislature, being Republicans, to pull shit that the federal judiciary would be cool with.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Hearting Kansas in a selective way...

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What's the matter with Kansas? Not as much as you thought.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Geographic Center of the Lower 48!*

39.832057, -98.543902

Seriously weird/cool place, and just down the road apiece from where "Home on the Range" was written...

*Roughly (and if you do not know how the Coast and Geodetic Survey determined this, you should look it up, because it is delightfully lo-tech).

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, you put Alaska in there and it throws the whole thing out of balance.

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Yup – straight up to South Dakota, as unbalanced a place as ya like.

Seward's Folly, Bears' Lair

I do not know how/why that popped in my head but I'm goin' with it.

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thumbs up!

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Wonderful news! So happy and proud for all those who worked their tails off to make this happen.

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Majorities want things then elect a party that opposes them.

Which is to say, let’s see 60% of the votes in November go blue in Kansas.

That is, voters were able to vote for abortion without having to reject their Republican elected officials. An easy vote here.

What may be what’s really interesting is just that the issue got a pretty big turnout which may bode well, or not.

Too, there’s the issue of how the Kansas lege will respond to this.

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Not seeing anything like 60%. After all, we haven't given an Electoral College vote to a Democrat since LBJ.

Of course, I was around for LBJ. EVERYBODY loved LBJ. Until, you know, they didn't. Fucking war did him in

Shit, he could have been legendary, like FDR, even if he was a racist old shitkicker from Texas. Damn Richard Nixon's soul to all mythical hells. Better for the world he were never born.

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Lots of elections are close, if 10% of Republican women just decide to sit out the midterms that could have a huge impact on the Dems ability to hold the House and Senate.

And Republicans have made themselves especially vulnerable to relatively small shifts in voting behavior, through gerrymandering, since it works by spreading your own voters out as thinly as possible while packing your opponent's voters into as few districts as possible. In Wisconsin, lots of Republican state legislators win with less than 55% of the vote while my own Democratic legislator wins 80%.

We don't need most Republicans to wise up, and we don't even need the ones who do wise up to vote for Democrats.

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Yup. Problem is the people voting Republican. If we can make enough of them stop, we can get the hell out of this mess, or at least try.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"don’t really relate to music except culturally and morally"

and by "relate" I mean "quietly screaming my guts out in a locked, otherwise empty sound-cancelling room"

Too many bits up there to single out one*; 2 marks all 'round!

*I lied – the poetry...Yikes!

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

He doesn't really relate to the English language except as a lie-delivery tool.

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I hope ur thinking of a creating a mini-video series about this version of Ben Shapiro & his rise to Media Morgul. Think of it as your "Citizen Kane" --trying to think of the proper lead to play this "Pen Bashiro."

BS's statement about the ideological uses of creative output should be enrolled among the great speeches of villainous characters who speak plainly about their goals in sleazy capitalistic manipulation.

But only if it ends with "And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you nosy kids!"

Also, big ups for "Shazbot" esp. given that everything 80's is suddenly cool again.

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Hearted for the nosy kids!

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Shazbot is almost enough to make me look into that 'social media' thing all the kidz seem to like..."Keep biology above the waist, that’s how you save the nation"...

Alt. response:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzFHaJ07Fjc

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Separate breakout comment:

Bloody Hell, Roy!

I'm reminded of the bit Kenneth Branagh mentioned to the BBC after release of his film Henry 5th. Some punk kid in all the black leather regalia approached him slightly menacingly on the street, saying "Oy! You Branagh??!!" When Branagh said yes, the kid said "That was Fookin' Brilliant!"

My depunked, olded self says "What he said."

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I assume Roy’s rap parody is spot on but as an old white person my knowledge of rap ended with NWA. Anyway, I think the Ben Shapiro Music Revolution would be more likely to co-opt some would-be Taylor Swift. The transition from breaking up with your boyfriend to breaking up with democracy isn’t that hard.

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The lyric video is right there! Try it, it's fun.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Don't come for Taylor. She's basically on the somewhat righter side of history. Don't believe it? I'll convince you. Where do you live? Taylor lets me borrow her jet whenever I need it.

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I thought everyone in Marin own planes with poorer residents having theirs financed with $oro$ 💵💵💵?

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Shh. I am thriving here, in a symbiotic way, not unlike the red-billed oxpecker who feasts on ticks and bugs that annoy hippos and rhinos.

They fly away to places (well, they're starting to again) and I remain on the home front to take care of the dogs and cats and gardens and houses. Don't blow my cover. All I need is the proper footwear (waiting on Soros $$!) and I could pass for a proper resident.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Shazbot" made me so happy. Mixed feelings for reasons for bringing my beloved Dojo at into it.

And, you know, it's funny/not funny. Hip-hop's been suffused with raps boasting about dicks since Day 1 yet with minimal problems, yet "WAP" is what everyone gets worked up over. I mean, that the reason's obvious, still the complete bullshit to it, please. (TBC, I have no problem whatsoever with any aspect of "WAP", to which I say god bless.)

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I'm a little puzzled by Shapiro's claim that it's a children's song. I mean, children do come out of wet-ass pussies, but other than that...

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Now that I think about it (and I'll freely admit that I probably shouldn't) maybe Ben can repurpose it into a song about the joys of giving birth?

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I think Shapiro is one of those people who confuses children with teenagers.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

As opposed to Matt Gaetz, who can't see the line between teenagers and adults.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Hearted for the truism, NOT Matt Gaetz.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

To be fair, Matt is probably into teenagers because he thinks people are less repulsed. I'm guessing he can't quite tell teh difference between teenagers and children, either, except he knows what he can get away with.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

"Shazbot" being the perfect name for a right-wing scheissposting Twitter ragebot.

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This morning’s Breakdown fits nicely with the more serious one about selling out. Tiny Ben may have a tin ear but he smells political grift like a shark senses chum. He might not hear which of two pitches is higher than the other, but he understands the phenomenon of artists being bought off.

Some musicians have objected strenuously to some political campaigns using their songs without the artist’s permission. Obviously, these campaigns didn’t pay them. This morning’s post makes me wonder if they could have been swayed to grant use of their work if they had been offered enough $$$. I’m thinking few campaigns would have enough cash to meet the price, but it would be interesting to know. Maybe a Sacha Baron Cohen-like figure could investigate! Find the true sellouts in our midst! Naw, I don’t really care THAT which highly paid artist values money over integrity. I do wonder if I myself would be able to resist, had I the rights to a coveted piece.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Dialogue is brilliant, as always, but Roy really outdid himself on wardrobe. I even own a pair of huaraches and I didn't know that was what they were called. Also cool to know I can get myself a Charlie Brown t-shirt, now that I finally have the hairstyle to match.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Cue the chattering trumpet gibberish pretending to be adult speech followed by "Wah wah wah"

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I'd be happy to go through life with a Vince Guaraldi soundtrack.

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I already been doin' that (and Dizzy Gillespie, and Joao Gilberto, and Maria Bethania, and Bert Jansch, and Eliane Elias, and Duke Ellington, and Thelonius Monk, and...well, you get the idea)

Seriously. I cannot get music out of my head (nor would I if I could). Probly helps reduce the effect of the tinnitus, too.

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Cue Art Tatum!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3BWzDYYLxI

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Aug 3, 2022·edited Aug 3, 2022

In deference to the poetic nature of today's post, cue Blossom Dearie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADHeoDIhThw

Edited to add: my dad revered Tatum and taught me all about him. When those multi-volume Tatum collections first came out I got him the set for xmas and he got the same set for me.

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Let me throw in Wynton Kelly, Duke Pearson and Johnny Costa. . .

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I dunno. As usual, Ben is mistaking his distaste for something (women, mostly, but also sex) for actual harm done to him. Which would be fine if he didn't also have a clear lack of understanding of consent.

Making fun of someone for having a health issue: bad.

Talking about how you like sex: fine. Possibly even good.

Both can be done offensively, but only one involves actual harm to people.

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If/when actual harm ever befalls the guy, he'll probly recognize it.

Anyway, hearted for succinct telling of truth.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Yeah, I've met people who think a movie entitled "White Men Can't Jump" EXACTLY BALANCES OUT decades of racial discrimination. Because their pretend-feelings were pretend-hurt.

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And they obviously didn't see the movie.

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Well, certainly not, because WAAAAH ITS RACIST.

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What a sad world ideologues like Ben Shapiro live in! All artistic expression is propaganda. All education is indoctrination. Huge efforts must be made to prevent the youths from learning more than they absolutely need to know, lest they succumb to the ever-present temptation of human decency.

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I love (not) how they're always making it about "the children" as in "we've got to protect the children" when the truth is they see ALL of us as children, in that we can't be trusted to think for ourselves.

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"Childbearing: Not just fun, is mandatory!"

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

Brilliant. I keep seeing that Shapiro's posts are always in the top ten of whatever and I can't for the life of me figure out his appeal. But then I make it a point to only watch Ben Shapiro video clips with the sound off because it's so entertaining that way.

Interesting that neither Shapiro nor his lawyer had a problem with Shazbot's concentration camp suggestion in his re-lyric, just the possible copyright infringement. Which kind of makes Roy's piece both art and journalism.

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Aug 3, 2022Liked by Roy Edroso

I watch Ben Shapiro with the sound off and the video off, and it's even more entertaining like that.

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Hilarious--OR IS IT? After the first four lines of the Doja Kat song all I could think of was Freud's comment: "America is a mistake--a gigantic mistake, it is true, but nonetheless a mistake."

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