The Times attends an event starring the GOP’s latest heart-throb
As, like, always, my condolences to Roy for the pain he must suffer wading through all the filth needed to produce stuff like this.
And because I'm me, I must note that what's being (barely) lampooned here is pretty much the attitudes that drove the colonies to revolt in the first place. You know, just for the record and all that.
PENA IN YOUR FACE
Written in Elmer's glue.
Jesus Roy .
This is great.
Kyle Rittenhouse is like the Nick Fury
of low rent politics, appearing in every episode set in of Trump metaverse.
A masterful job. This is a compliment I pay out of respect for Roy's talent, but I feel worse and not better after reading it because not only can I easily see such a rally actually happening, I can see the NYT covering it in exactly this manner.
Both-Sides Now: one side wants to murder their enemies while enriching their donors, the other side says, "I think that's wrong." However you look at it, it's bad news for Joe Biden.
I can definitely see Ted Cruz using "mano" in its Anglicized meaning of "man" rather than the literal "hand," Latino ancestry or not.
criminy, I read two or three paragraphs before I sussed it was a parody. what a world we live in! you mean empty green HASN"T offered to take a bite of his churro??
Face it, libs, Republicans have captured all the best Hispanics. McCarthy just gave George “Señor Confabulation” Santos not one but two committee assignments. There is nothing too shameful for the Party of Personal Responsibility.
AbomiNation is Us.
If you go look up the definition of "terrorism" that the federal government uses, what Pena did fits that definition EXACTLY. He is a domestic terrorist.
But, he's also a Republican. So Merrick Garland is doing his usual thing of completely ignoring this incident. I guess we can't have the Department of Justice politicizing domestic terrorism by investigating anything like this.
Garland is far and away the worst attorney general of my lifetime. And that lifetime includes John Mitchell, Ed Meese, Alberto Gonzales, and Bill Barr.
"I used to respect the military, my dad was in, but now they’re gay and have pronouns"
Woulda gave ya 2 marks, but then I read this:
"Then he sighed, shrugged, and drank the beer that he did not have held against his eye"
Now THERE's a 2-mark phrase worthy of 3 marks. I smile reading, rereading, and cetera.
The line between the Times and satire is thin, indeed.
When I announce my candidacy, it will be a DMV parking lot in North Dakota.
Shot up by thugs? I think you mean "overly enthusiastic political neophytes."
Thanks, Sol - I call him Sol when I'm not calling him You Bastard - for making NM a laughingstock.
"Restive" is such a perfect example of Times-wordsmanship, often used to describe certain provinces of a foreign country where thousands are dying in a bloody civil war*, now we're finally bringing "restive" home. Make America Restive Again!
*I'm sure you've seen the parodies where someone writes about the US in the style the Times uses for the furriners: "In the restive southwestern province of New Mexico..."
I was actually pretty impressed that a guy with 19 felony convictions could still get nearly 30% of the vote, running as a Republican. I remember when Republicans were all "Lock 'em up and throw away the key", it's encouraging to see so many of them willing to offer an ex-con a hand up.
I know I'm an asshole for asking, but FFS, I thought this was real again. I may need a spoiler alert or tone indicator or something.