"You’ll certainly want to hear Ypres-Bugger’s account of how “standing athwart history, yelling ‘Stop!”” was originally “Bleeping athwart bleep, yelling bleep!”
reminds me of the old Lenny Bruce bit about being arrested for 'blah, blah, blah'. "he said blah blah blah?" 'yes, your honor, blah blah blah." "dammit, it feels good to say blah blah blah, you blah blah blah!"
“Donald Trump, who we do not support, goes too easy on the gays, who we also do not support, unlike Ron DeSantis who is willing to go full fascist on all the Woke, though fascism is something we do not support. We hope we have now clarified National Review’s position to you, our potential marks – we mean, our valued potential subscribers.”
Roy, “Yours in Christ” as the complimentary close is absolutely the cherry on top, lol.
“'Donald Trump, who we do not support, goes too easy on the gays, who we also do not support, unlike Ron DeSantis who is willing to go full fascist on all the Woke, though fascism is something we do not support. We hope we have now clarified National Review’s position to you, our potential marks – we mean, our valued potential subscribers.'”
I was today years old when I learned Glem Greenwald had been hired by National Review.
Actually, according to a Twitter ad I got recently, Glem is introducing a "new era of radically independent journalism" over on Rumble alongside such luminaries as Andrew Tate, Alex Jones, and RT. Evidently he got all inspired by being the involved in the "Twitter Files" bullshit and now thinks he's Edward Murrow or some such.
Ah! The NRO cruises of yesteryear! Your chance to hobnob with the likes of Jonah Goldberg and K-Lo. One can only imagine the scintillating conversations while strolling along the poop deck.
Irrespective of the scintillageousness of the conversations, one assumes it is always preferable to poop along the stroll deck rather than t'other way 'round, no?
It's more than a thousand miles from the nearest ocean but I would LOVE for my alma mater to get rid of their stupid fake-Indian mascot and adopt "Ragin' Cetaceans". There was a previous effort to change the mascot to Alma Otter (complete with cute otter graphics) but the fraternities and big donors killed it.
UC Santa Cruz's chancellor, or president, of Jeffe Supremo, or whatever he was, insisted that the campus should extend the system's deference to bears as mascots, and threw up "Cubs", or "Pandas", or something. The enlightened studentry stamped their feet and said "Nope. Banana Slugs!" And so it was that one could go to the campus store and purchase a UCSC t-shirt with a life-size plastic banana slug spooring across the chest.
How can you be certain tho? If there's just a big sign saying "Poop" with an arrow pointing to the deck, I mean, do you trust every passenger will be up on all the nautical terms?
I hear the Nationalist Review just hired Coach Tuberville. Apparently his job will be to barge into the NR's locker room and smack their asses with a towel.
The NYT and WaPo may be next, with for example Theissen and DeSantis sharing their personal recollections (with photos) of Abu Ghraib Torture Days and George Fucking Will tearing off his bowtie to whip Ebonics advocates.
Abu Ghraib Torture Days is the worst, most tasteless homecoming event ever, far surpassing Northern State’s Gypsy Days. Or are they doing something akin to Monty Python’s version of Sam Peckinpaugh’s “Salad Days”?
Somehow I’m “out of free articles” on a website I’ve been on maybe twice in the last five years, so I can’t read about what an “asshole” ol’ Sleepy Joe is. What a shame.
*sigh* I actually had to Google "Happy Hitler" to see if there really was such a rapper. Such is the state of music in our brave new world. I was rewarded with photographs of a smiling, cheery dictator.
June, 2025: President DeSantis bans nationwide the use of the alphabet, saying "There we go, no more LBGTQAXIPWYE or whatever!" Patriotic citizens will be expected to communicate entirely in grunts and gestures, the way God's Scientific Nature intended.
Everybody hates Lowrey and crew. - we laugh and point because they're stupid assholes and that's our jam. New Breed Conservatives would just as soon beat them to death with a femur left over from the July 4th Raw Meat Picnic because that's just how they roll.
In spite of the fact Everybody hates them ,Lowrey and crew make a fuck ton of money. They been on the Billionaire Gravy Train longer than most anybody.
While we’re on the subject of the Uber masculine walking among us in the guise of sapless wingtip appeasers, the riff raff who service the Great Camps up here in the Adirondacks tell me Mike Pence recently paid a visit to Topridge, a Harlan Crowe joint, no doubt a’hunting moose and a’gutting bears. I assure you there is not a chance that he made the short paddle over to Longwood, the camp of Bruce Weber, “art” photographer known for his homoerotic pix of hot young studs in the wilderness.
When you're rich enough they let you do it. Check out that Politico article Roy linked to for examples. "Oh, you're gay? I'm sorry sir, but we'll need to see your bank balance..."
Thanks for introducing me to Sedevacantism (I am getting college credit for this, right?) the belief that the Holy See is currently vacant due to certain "heresies" endorsed by the current fake-Pope.
From the Wikipedia:
"Some sedevacantists chose to end the vacancy in the Holy See by electing their own pope."
Yodeling Bill and the Young (re)Publicans are on my spotify list, spinning endlessly...interestingly, they spin counterclockwise.
Widdershins, the direction of evil!
Twirling, twirling, twirling (counterclockwise) towards freedom!
Do they hit below the equator?
I wouldn't exactly call their tunes 'hits', northron or southron...
"You’ll certainly want to hear Ypres-Bugger’s account of how “standing athwart history, yelling ‘Stop!”” was originally “Bleeping athwart bleep, yelling bleep!”
reminds me of the old Lenny Bruce bit about being arrested for 'blah, blah, blah'. "he said blah blah blah?" 'yes, your honor, blah blah blah." "dammit, it feels good to say blah blah blah, you blah blah blah!"
Yipes! Buggers!
(Keep thinking about how WWI British troops called it "Wipers", on account of they lost so many troops there.)
Why, exactly, do I have to keep thinking about it?
Myself, I'm remembering the Maine.
I just tipped a canoe. Is that enough?
Depends how much. 18% is considered minimum.
and Tyler, too?
Also, British people have trouble pronouncing anything that isn't a Britishism
...Beechnut's got 'em.
Ypres-Buggers is a partner at Rum, Buggery & DeLash.
ELLC*
EXTREMELY Limited Liability Corpse.
“Donald Trump, who we do not support, goes too easy on the gays, who we also do not support, unlike Ron DeSantis who is willing to go full fascist on all the Woke, though fascism is something we do not support. We hope we have now clarified National Review’s position to you, our potential marks – we mean, our valued potential subscribers.”
Roy, “Yours in Christ” as the complimentary close is absolutely the cherry on top, lol.
“'Donald Trump, who we do not support, goes too easy on the gays, who we also do not support, unlike Ron DeSantis who is willing to go full fascist on all the Woke, though fascism is something we do not support. We hope we have now clarified National Review’s position to you, our potential marks – we mean, our valued potential subscribers.'”
I was today years old when I learned Glem Greenwald had been hired by National Review.
Greenwald's announcement: "I want to inform my readers that I have accepted a position at National Review, a publication I do not support."
That was THEN! THIS is then too!
I have ALWAYS had a highly-paid position at EastAsia!
Actually, according to a Twitter ad I got recently, Glem is introducing a "new era of radically independent journalism" over on Rumble alongside such luminaries as Andrew Tate, Alex Jones, and RT. Evidently he got all inspired by being the involved in the "Twitter Files" bullshit and now thinks he's Edward Murrow or some such.
Not one to kick grave dirt, but Glenn certainly didn’t wait long after losing his spouse before keeping on with his bullshit
"Good night, good luck, and good riddance."
"Good on ya!"
Ah! The NRO cruises of yesteryear! Your chance to hobnob with the likes of Jonah Goldberg and K-Lo. One can only imagine the scintillating conversations while strolling along the poop deck.
Irrespective of the scintillageousness of the conversations, one assumes it is always preferable to poop along the stroll deck rather than t'other way 'round, no?
I believe that would be the promenade deck.
And yet, on THEIR cruise it would be strictly amateur menade...
Oh. I see what you did. Pro-men ade. When testosterone isn't enough...
Strolling isn't grand enough for the Grand Old Party. They will only prah-men-odd, dontcha know.
I think that depends on how literally Jonah took the term poop deck.
They are single-handedly responsible for the Rage Of The Orcas.
The Ragin' Cetaceans!
It's more than a thousand miles from the nearest ocean but I would LOVE for my alma mater to get rid of their stupid fake-Indian mascot and adopt "Ragin' Cetaceans". There was a previous effort to change the mascot to Alma Otter (complete with cute otter graphics) but the fraternities and big donors killed it.
UC Santa Cruz's chancellor, or president, of Jeffe Supremo, or whatever he was, insisted that the campus should extend the system's deference to bears as mascots, and threw up "Cubs", or "Pandas", or something. The enlightened studentry stamped their feet and said "Nope. Banana Slugs!" And so it was that one could go to the campus store and purchase a UCSC t-shirt with a life-size plastic banana slug spooring across the chest.
I had a UCSC sweatshirt that was pretty cool
The ship almost capsized when everyone on board ran to be upwind of Jonah.
Finally, a fart joke.
Ol' Reliable, that's me.
"Finally, a fart joke" deserves to be enshrined in the REBID lexicon of immortal phrases.
2 marks!
The name never more apt.
BTW I'm hoping the ship for the cruise next month has a poop deck. If it does I most certainly WILL BE strolling it.
How can you be certain tho? If there's just a big sign saying "Poop" with an arrow pointing to the deck, I mean, do you trust every passenger will be up on all the nautical terms?
It only takes one to spoil it, ya know...
Where are you cruising? Is Al Pacino going to be there?
BTW check out the movie "Triangle of Sadness" for a conservative cruise poop deck in action.
I can’t think of too many human beings I’d LESS rather chat up on a cruise ship than K-Lo.
I hear the Nationalist Review just hired Coach Tuberville. Apparently his job will be to barge into the NR's locker room and smack their asses with a towel.
“NR has a locker room?”
“It will!”
Well, they need as many spaces to keep the trans folks out of as possible.
Technically, it is Katherine Jean's office, but she won't mind!
When in a towel fight, one must always be ready with a snappy comeback.
The NYT and WaPo may be next, with for example Theissen and DeSantis sharing their personal recollections (with photos) of Abu Ghraib Torture Days and George Fucking Will tearing off his bowtie to whip Ebonics advocates.
Abu Ghraib Torture Days is the worst, most tasteless homecoming event ever, far surpassing Northern State’s Gypsy Days. Or are they doing something akin to Monty Python’s version of Sam Peckinpaugh’s “Salad Days”?
Pianists, beware the keyboard!
Almost as bad as when your Uni tossed dead Jackrabbits on the court
Carrots were more common, but agreed.
The frozen, dead coyote the other guys threw was going too far
I remember hearing about that.
Ah, that sad feeling when you're reminded that George Will is still alive.
Nice one!
"Change, we have learned, can be good when it’s conservative..." kinda opens up new horizons of thought...
Forward! TO THE PAST!
is the new RETREAT!
See, the Firesign Theater was once again prescient. "Forward, Into The Past!"
considering just HOW FAR in the past they are, they can go quite a bit forward ere they reach the 'mere' past.
"Well, it ain't really change if you're changin' it BACK to the way it useta be!"
Taken from the upcoming Supreme Court decision repealing the 13th amendment.
Rectification!
Somehow I’m “out of free articles” on a website I’ve been on maybe twice in the last five years, so I can’t read about what an “asshole” ol’ Sleepy Joe is. What a shame.
So "asshole" is what we get when they REALLY let loose? Guess they're saving "motherfucker" for when he gets reelected.
Peggy Noonan passed out on the toilet when she read that! That’s now why, but it still happened
Not*
Her maid, in the crisp, clean uniform with the perfectly pressed white apron and cap, had to administer the smelling salts -- again.
"Well, at least there's no vomit this time."
Tale as old as time
Sleepy Joe added two new member nations to NATO over the weekend. What an asshole. Also, how Sleepy of him.
Total douchebag that everyone hates
What a fucking LOSER, amirite?
*sigh* I actually had to Google "Happy Hitler" to see if there really was such a rapper. Such is the state of music in our brave new world. I was rewarded with photographs of a smiling, cheery dictator.
You should see him in Springtime!
The old Nuremberg Rally footage takes on a different tone if you substitute the soundtrack with Little Rascals music.
Or “Yakety Saxe”
Doesn't that make it Benny Hilltler
Or in the original German, "Yakkety Saxe-Coburg."
Didn't Spike Jones do this with "In Der Fuhrer's Face"? I remember lots of goose-stepping set to wacky music.
Oh don't be a smarty.
two duetsche marks!
I was figuring it was just a rebranding for that rapper who was wandering the aisles at Target going on about wokeness and alphabet people.
"I just knew them letters was gay when they tried to teach 'em to me!"
June, 2025: President DeSantis bans nationwide the use of the alphabet, saying "There we go, no more LBGTQAXIPWYE or whatever!" Patriotic citizens will be expected to communicate entirely in grunts and gestures, the way God's Scientific Nature intended.
First they came for the alphabet, but I said nothing because I'm an algebra teacher and I figured it would be a while before they got to x.
it's unknown when they'll get there.
They left on a train headed southeast at 30 miles an hour.
So all my subjects are uniform
I hereby proclaim cuneiform!
𐎱𐎤𐎫𐎤𐎠𐎽𐎤 𐏂𐎧𐎤 alligators!
(sadly, I could not find a cuneiform translation of "alligator")
I demand a cuneiform version of “Cthulhu fthagn! Iä! Iä!”
I'm Happy Hitler and I'm here to say...
Nah, fuck it, I just can't...I have to leave it to Roy and the rest of you jokers or I'll hurt myself.
I'm Happy Hitler and I'm here to say...
I hate the Jews, and the Gypsys and the gays
so I killed myself in '45
hardly a man is now alive
Ha ha! That's a good one
We work so hard to run
A Reich without our Adolph
We filled up our till
Worked it out in Brazil
Now we're channelling Bernie Madolf
Funny to think about outmoded, obsolete
Conservatives. Isn't that the point?
Everybody hates Lowrey and crew. - we laugh and point because they're stupid assholes and that's our jam. New Breed Conservatives would just as soon beat them to death with a femur left over from the July 4th Raw Meat Picnic because that's just how they roll.
In spite of the fact Everybody hates them ,Lowrey and crew make a fuck ton of money. They been on the Billionaire Gravy Train longer than most anybody.
As long as there are old rich white men they'll never miss a meal.
While we’re on the subject of the Uber masculine walking among us in the guise of sapless wingtip appeasers, the riff raff who service the Great Camps up here in the Adirondacks tell me Mike Pence recently paid a visit to Topridge, a Harlan Crowe joint, no doubt a’hunting moose and a’gutting bears. I assure you there is not a chance that he made the short paddle over to Longwood, the camp of Bruce Weber, “art” photographer known for his homoerotic pix of hot young studs in the wilderness.
When you're rich enough they let you do it. Check out that Politico article Roy linked to for examples. "Oh, you're gay? I'm sorry sir, but we'll need to see your bank balance..."
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay.
Paddle across the pond if you want some buttered scones for tea.
Even the rich will get fined for pressing the endangered wildflowers...
I sure like paddlin' 'round those ponds...
Thanks for introducing me to Sedevacantism (I am getting college credit for this, right?) the belief that the Holy See is currently vacant due to certain "heresies" endorsed by the current fake-Pope.
From the Wikipedia:
"Some sedevacantists chose to end the vacancy in the Holy See by electing their own pope."
These guys, always with the fake electors.
I always assumed Papa John would be their pope. The smoke resembles that of his pizza ovens
"Ah, gray smoke. The pepperoni with extra cheese must be ready."
In myriad clouds of smoke, 2/3 of the nation’s beekeepers have each proclaimed themselves the one true pope. Avignon is all abuzz!
2 marks, honey!
Thanks, I really needed to know this, what a word! and I probably would have forgotten to look it up
I could rent them an office that's both seedy and vacant.
Next up, in an unexpected move, the Sedavacantists advocate for the return of the Inquisition.
Well nobody expected that!
Standing athwart history, yelling "WOKE!!!"
Or bleating “Woke” if it’s Ben Shapiro (the judges will also accept “piping”).
In Jonah Goldberg’s case, we all know the appropriate verb. And the congregation say, “FFAAARRT.”
Let the cushion speak for me! Congregation, be seated!
"Butch" Buckley sounds like a porn actor's name. As it should.
"When recounting such stories in ribald terms he would savagely pound his chest and yodel."
And THIS, Mr. PBS, is my pitch for bringing FIRING LINE into the future!
Why do I find it so easy to believe that if Rich Lowry didn't actually write today's screed, he would if he thought of it?