Been savin' this one for the right occasion. Assumes downward spiral. It is perhaps slightly obtuse but us poets do not make the rules, we only enforce them:
*Stranger than whom, you may ask...Well, I'd reply, stranger than a Three-Handed Mother of God, for instance. Ha! you'd say – EVERYBODY has one a those! To which I would counter Well that just goes to show my faith in strangers is misplaced.
It would actually be incredibly funny if Pence, who his colleagues referred to as Mike Dense when he was in Congress, was in reality a Machiavellian mastermind. Playing the loooong game, lol.
"Today's password is Mom. Tomorrow's will be Mama. I've also got several foreign language dictionaries here...we'll move on to Madre, Mutter, and so forth."
Gaetz, genius that he is, sent out a fundraiser text (but I repeat myself) accusing the 20 Republicans who wouldn't vote for Jim Jordan of "Voting with AOC and Ilhan Omar." One of his targets pointed out that when Gaetz voted Kevin McCarthy out of the Speakership, he was voting with AOC and Ilhan Omar.
I can't see it ending any other way than prison. Even if law enforcement desperately doesn't want to/does everything in its power to cover for the guy. He's that stupid.
Mainly in the interest of bragging about my insideriness, I have an acquaintance who does maintenance work at Camp Topridge, Adirondack outpost of Clarence Thomas sugar daddy Harlan Crow. He tells me Mike Pence visited this summer, presumably to kiss the ring. No noticeable uptick in available funds, so Harlan perhaps took a pass.
Not exactly true. While there is extreme wealth on the lake fronts, there is also quite a bit of poverty. Some of the "best" jobs available are in NY state prisons, of which there are several.
I know, just channeling George. The greater lesser region has its ups/downs. Interesting that snow season (defined up there as "whatever is enough snow to run a snowmobile on") has declined from 3 months to 3 weeks. It's a primary reason for opening the slopes to bicycles come summer.
Florsheim Shoes reference will be something people can understand.
Remember when Mike and his old lady went to the Colts game just so they could leave in self-righteous disgust when Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the Star-Spangled Banner? I remember being so angry at that. What a bunch of bullshit.
I'm angry again thinking about it. I'm okay with Mike getting punched in his no doubt insignificant balls over that one.
Now I've got an idea for an entire gun-based math curriculum, in case I retire to some nice community college in rural Wisconsin. Gotta meet people where they are.
Jimbo has 14 AKs, his neighbor Skeeter has 28 Glocks. If a dozen teens from Milwaukee pull into the driveway looking for directions, how many ways would the sheriff's department find to cover up the murders?
In Rhinelander, Hunter fires a deer rifle towards Kyle in Bundy. A second later, Kyle fires an Sig Sauer towards Hunter. Where do the bullets meet, and how many “officer-involved shootings” are initiated along the way?
All right, all right, Mr. Rosos -- fair is fair. You've conducted us thru many imaginative, satirical scenarios that throb uncomfortably against the Plausible. But.. this here -- is a bridge too far, sir. I protest.
Expecting us to believe that Mike Pence is actually interesting in any way? Nossir, I just can't go there.
Homeboy has a photo album in his desk with nothing but Polaroids of his favorite jars of mayonnaise, each labelled with the date he bought & finished them. And they're all Hellman's Lite. And he smiles & nods as he goes along. Doesn't feel hungry. Just satisfied in some inchoate way.
My ex-wife was friends with this Lutheran couple from Mankato, MN (he was in our PhD program; she was the daughter of Allan Quist, lunatic fundie Congressional also-ran). We went to lunch at some flavorless joint & he refused ketchup for his fries, saying it gave him indigestion...
I got jailed for a weekend in Oklahoma for “throbbing uncomfortably against the Plausible” but it was a load of bs: the cow’s name was “Plausibility” and I’d never even met her!
Rats, I thought Pense was going to be smoking the Formula in that pipe. Anyway, out here in the desert the coyotes are singing every night. That ought to be a metaphor for something or a message from Mother Nature, like the way seeing an owl means you’re going to die.
A competent Pence. You've outdone yourself Mr. Edroso. I can almost believe it, the first explanation of his behavior I've seen that makes sense. The only flaw in your nefarious plan is that I've read Doghouse Reilly. God I miss him .
This just in: Trump was in a room with Bob Woodward and a running tape recorder, when he waved around classified correspondence from Kim Jong Un and said,
Nicely done, but I haven't seen evidence that Pence is that smart.
Mike Dense.
Been savin' this one for the right occasion. Assumes downward spiral. It is perhaps slightly obtuse but us poets do not make the rules, we only enforce them:
Whence Pence?
No Sense, too dense
No Cents, all spents
Hence, ‘rents
Thence, tents
To make any of these mooks even the slightest bit interesting, you have to imagine they're much smarter than they are.
I depend upon the imagination of strangers.*
*Stranger than whom, you may ask...Well, I'd reply, stranger than a Three-Handed Mother of God, for instance. Ha! you'd say – EVERYBODY has one a those! To which I would counter Well that just goes to show my faith in strangers is misplaced.
It’s a brilliant riff on the Phil Hartman as Ronald Reagan SNL sketch. Aces.
ETA: I see I was beaten to this.
This assumes a Strategic Stupid as a hallmark of Indiana politicians, a la Dan Quayle.
You go with the natural resources you have, like Oregon has timber and West Virginia has coal.
It would actually be incredibly funny if Pence, who his colleagues referred to as Mike Dense when he was in Congress, was in reality a Machiavellian mastermind. Playing the loooong game, lol.
I wanna be Mildred Tango Pencil when the Netflix bio-mess casts.
"I'm sorry – Mother was yesterday's password. Guards, seize that imposter!"
"Today's password is Mom. Tomorrow's will be Mama. I've also got several foreign language dictionaries here...we'll move on to Madre, Mutter, and so forth."
One of my favorite SNL bits was Reagan as the criminal mastermind behind Iran-Contra, on the phone to Zurich, speaking German to his banker.
Yes! Pence being a Keyser Soze figure would be absolutely hilarious.
Now imagine it with Jim Jordan or Matt Gaetz.
I refuse to imagine anything associated with either of those cucarachas. Their realities are enough, thanks.
Gaetz, genius that he is, sent out a fundraiser text (but I repeat myself) accusing the 20 Republicans who wouldn't vote for Jim Jordan of "Voting with AOC and Ilhan Omar." One of his targets pointed out that when Gaetz voted Kevin McCarthy out of the Speakership, he was voting with AOC and Ilhan Omar.
I can't see it ending any other way than prison. Even if law enforcement desperately doesn't want to/does everything in its power to cover for the guy. He's that stupid.
Riffin' on all the law degrees on Jack Smith's office wall (and Smith be goin' "Carry on, you dolt, carry on...")
I see you beat me to this observation. Apologies; I didn’t steal it from you!
Great minds have seen all the same TV shows.
this must be Mr edroso using AI. makes pence seem too human. and intelligent.
Sorry Roy, it lacks the usual verisimilitude. Where’s the Lord God?
In my heart.
Well keep Her there.
In spite of dungeon, fire and sword
That was faith of our FATHERS, you infidel 😉
Three-handed Mother of God!
Gorgo, Mormo, thousand-faced moon, look favourably on our sacrifices, dontcha know!
“Is this the end of RICO?”
Mainly in the interest of bragging about my insideriness, I have an acquaintance who does maintenance work at Camp Topridge, Adirondack outpost of Clarence Thomas sugar daddy Harlan Crow. He tells me Mike Pence visited this summer, presumably to kiss the ring. No noticeable uptick in available funds, so Harlan perhaps took a pass.
And gave 'em to Cornel West! Wheels within wheels! https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/shows/meetthepress/blog/rcna121060
Pfffffft. $3.3k is dog track money.
Everybody knows the Black candidates cost less.
3/5 still seems like way too much.
Hey, it's whatever the market decrees when the auctioneer brings that hammer down.
The Market is infallible except when it comes to real estate in SF, PDX, or NYC.
Money for the powder room
Con-el West
I've canoed 'round those parts. That whole region (save for the college) is a Club, and you and I are not in it.
Not exactly true. While there is extreme wealth on the lake fronts, there is also quite a bit of poverty. Some of the "best" jobs available are in NY state prisons, of which there are several.
Elise Stefanik is the rep!
That tracks.
I know, just channeling George. The greater lesser region has its ups/downs. Interesting that snow season (defined up there as "whatever is enough snow to run a snowmobile on") has declined from 3 months to 3 weeks. It's a primary reason for opening the slopes to bicycles come summer.
"PENCE: Mother." - hahaha thanks for this one!
Yeah, but Mildred tango pencil. is gold.
I wonder how much longer a
Florsheim Shoes reference will be something people can understand.
Remember when Mike and his old lady went to the Colts game just so they could leave in self-righteous disgust when Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the Star-Spangled Banner? I remember being so angry at that. What a bunch of bullshit.
I'm angry again thinking about it. I'm okay with Mike getting punched in his no doubt insignificant balls over that one.
You may actually have to see Mother to do that.
At least when some neckbeard wears a shirt that says “Kneel for the Cross / Stand for the Flag” it’s easy to spot the fascist.
I think they showily left in disgust from a performance of Hamilton, if memory serves.
They left in a huff. Or they took their time and left in a minute and a huff.
Dudgeon, high.
Groucho, represent
Wouldn't it be fun to observe Groucho under the influence of the Formula?
Looking for a psychedelic duck
Via duck, via no chicken
Mike Pence:
"In fact, 2 out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking related illness and 9 out of ten smokers do not contract lung cancer. "
Um... Mike, what happens to ONE out of every three smokers?
Hanged in front of the Capitol?
Put another way, here's a revolver, I've removed four of the bullets, you know what to do.
Maths involved?! No fair!
Now I've got an idea for an entire gun-based math curriculum, in case I retire to some nice community college in rural Wisconsin. Gotta meet people where they are.
Jimbo has 14 AKs, his neighbor Skeeter has 28 Glocks. If a dozen teens from Milwaukee pull into the driveway looking for directions, how many ways would the sheriff's department find to cover up the murders?
"Otto, why don't you come up to the board and help us illustrate this next concept."
[Otto pulls out an oddly-dainty .32 and plugs Mister B]
"Ok, Otto. you can sit down. Karen, how about you?"
[See Otto, above]
"Thank you, Karen. Anyone else?"
In Rhinelander, Hunter fires a deer rifle towards Kyle in Bundy. A second later, Kyle fires an Sig Sauer towards Hunter. Where do the bullets meet, and how many “officer-involved shootings” are initiated along the way?
This is a trick question because Kevin is a terrible shot, so the bullets never meet
Correct. The judges would also accept:
1. What part of “shall not be infringed” don’t you understand?
2. The question is invalid because you didn’t describe in detail how to disassemble and reassemble each gun.
3. YEEEEEEEE-HA!, followed by a blizzard of gunfire.
All right, all right, Mr. Rosos -- fair is fair. You've conducted us thru many imaginative, satirical scenarios that throb uncomfortably against the Plausible. But.. this here -- is a bridge too far, sir. I protest.
Expecting us to believe that Mike Pence is actually interesting in any way? Nossir, I just can't go there.
Homeboy has a photo album in his desk with nothing but Polaroids of his favorite jars of mayonnaise, each labelled with the date he bought & finished them. And they're all Hellman's Lite. And he smiles & nods as he goes along. Doesn't feel hungry. Just satisfied in some inchoate way.
This is the mayo the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad.
HELLMAN'S??!!
Rebellion at the REBID!
DO NOT MOLEST ME WITH YOUR MIRACLE WHIP!
(Apologies for all caps – carried over from previous post, but then I looked again and realized, yeah, reads about right.)
How could Mike Pence forsake the one sandwich spread that implies, by its very name, that it is the product of divine intervention?
Yup. These are people for whom Yellow School Bus mustard is *spicy*.
My ex-wife was friends with this Lutheran couple from Mankato, MN (he was in our PhD program; she was the daughter of Allan Quist, lunatic fundie Congressional also-ran). We went to lunch at some flavorless joint & he refused ketchup for his fries, saying it gave him indigestion...
I got jailed for a weekend in Oklahoma for “throbbing uncomfortably against the Plausible” but it was a load of bs: the cow’s name was “Plausibility” and I’d never even met her!
They called her "Plaussie"
Next year, Next year,
Something's bound to happen,
This year, this year,
I'll just keep on nappin'.
(didn't change a word)
Why mess with the classics, I always say...
Just lazy. That's the kinda guy I'm.
Rats, I thought Pense was going to be smoking the Formula in that pipe. Anyway, out here in the desert the coyotes are singing every night. That ought to be a metaphor for something or a message from Mother Nature, like the way seeing an owl means you’re going to die.
I don't think the world is ready for "Mike Pence, Unchained."
The chain is Mother's Little Helper.
A competent Pence. You've outdone yourself Mr. Edroso. I can almost believe it, the first explanation of his behavior I've seen that makes sense. The only flaw in your nefarious plan is that I've read Doghouse Reilly. God I miss him .
I think this thread needs some Joe Jackson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNn9pnytT7M
Now do the scene in the Throne Room at Mar a Lago at the instant when Trump learns that Sidney Powell has turned state's evidence.
Never mind, I'll just redub that scene from Downfall.
House Of Flying Condiments
Flying Ketchup, Hidden Chief of Staff
This just in: Trump was in a room with Bob Woodward and a running tape recorder, when he waved around classified correspondence from Kim Jong Un and said,
"Don't tell anybody I told you this."
You can't make this stuff up.
The Tail of the Tape.
Am I the only one he didn't share classified information with? Feeling left out.
I, too, have received no classified information.